


An Evolution of the Heart

by FallenAngelPoet



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Adventure, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Major Original Character(s), Romance, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-06 15:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 67,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4227822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenAngelPoet/pseuds/FallenAngelPoet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She thought that being alone would help. Help her come to terms with what she did and bear the burden so the rest of her people wouldn't have too.</p>
<p>But the truth was that Clarke missed them; her friends, her mother, her people, and even though she refused to accept it she missed Lexa too.</p>
<p>When she finally returns, however, the reunions are short lived because there is a new threat. Her people are being taken, but if the Mountain Men aren't responsible then who is?</p>
<p>The only good thing about the situation the Clarke can find is that it's a distraction for her mind not to wander to the one person that can bring out such a chaos of emotions that Clarke doesn't know what to do with, but when she finally comes face to face with Lexa all bets are off and it's up to Clarke to decide if she wants to give in to her undeniable feelings for the Commander or sink within the memories of betrayal.</p>
<p>However, there are secrets in this new world; things that have become myth and legend that will threaten to tear everything apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It's just as I remember.

The forest so vibrant and lush with lumbering trees and their vast amount of leaves; a sky of green dotted with the sunny stars. The river that divides the tree line is so clear and full of life that I almost hate to disturb it to fish for our evening meal. The smile that etches itself along the curve of my lips is truly genuine as I watch my beloved wait and observe the fish as they swim past; spear in hand, brow knit together in concentration, and eyes darting back and forth waiting for the perfect strike.

So strong. So willful. So beautiful.

A flurry of movement and my attention is taken back out of my thoughts and to the effervescent grin of my partner proudly holding up a large fish that is almost half their body in length. The smile is infectious and I laugh as the fish tries one last effort to escape back to its liquid home, but only succeeding in toppling the both of them over into the muddy bank. My laughter grows as I watch my lover wrestle the fish in the mud, the beast's muscular form flailing as skillful arms and a quick body trap it against the riverbank.

My laughter gains me an indignant glare, and I try to hush myself with a hand against my mouth but it doesn't work and a few more giggles escape me. I feel the hit of cold, thick mud splattering across my chest and up my neck and cheek and soon we are laughing together trading blows of the mud-covered ground.

I move towards my beloved and reach out to touch the soft skin of an unmarked cheek, but my fingertips fail to feel the warmth; nothing is there.

The image fades; there is no forest, no river, and no fish, nor mud. My love is gone. There is only the darkness of my current reality.

It's just a mirage like all of the others that my mind plays in order to keep some semblance of sanity. I know it's not real. I do, but oh how I wish it was.

As my eyes readjust to the darkness and I find that I am still exactly where I was left. The stone walls still slightly cracked, the humming of a power generator still a drone in the silence, and the painful chafing of the shackles around my wrists and ankles still hasn't numbed yet.

It will though, the pain, it always does a while after they put me back in here. It should be that time soon, but I'm not sure. Time has become such an obscure thing. I have no idea how long I've been here; days, weeks, months, who is to say. The only illusions of time they give me is the occasional cold meal, which I've grown to find less disgusting, and when they come to retrieve me for my 'sessions' as they call them.

I lay flat on my back and close my eyes, begging my mind to return me to that mirage of memories I hope to never forget. The solid stone against my naked body is so cold and slightly damp, but my muscles and skin grow use to it and relax against something that I know, for now, is real.

I'm losing my sanity. Between my mind's tricks, the sessions, and my naked existence in this dark cell sometimes I can't remember who I am, who I was, only who they want me to be and I don't know how much longer I can fight them.

I try. I try so hard to be defiant, to be strong against them, but I'm losing hope. I could end this, I know I could, I could take the chains that hold me, wrap them around my throat and tighten them until my breath escapes me but I don't, it's not the way of my people.

I scoff at my own priorities, but it only sends me into a painful fit of coughs. My throat is so dry that the copper taste of blood on my tongue from the heaving is welcomed and savored as I try to lubricate my aching throat. I lie back again and let my mind take me somewhere, anywhere, but as I do I hear the dreadful sound of footsteps outside of my cell.

The steel door opens and I am forced to squint my eyes as the bright light encapsulates the room. I look over and see only the silhouettes of two men. I don't fight them purely because I don't have the energy too, I know what's coming it's become so much of a routine that the pain of the needle entering my neck doesn't feel like more than simple touch. I lie still as the rush of liquid flows through my body until my head feels both heavy and light and the shadowed brightness around me becomes darker and darker until it's simply nothing.

When I awaken the first thing I notice is the strain in my shoulders and the new metal cuffs that trap my wrists above my head. My toes float above the ground and I lift my head in my groggy haze to adjust the light of the room. The door opens and I try to push the memories I hold dear to the far back of my mind in an attempt to protect them.

I take as deep of a breath as my malnourished lungs can handle and grit my teeth. This is not my first session, but it might be my last.

"Shall we begin?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome my fellow Grounders and Sky People alike! just a little note before we get completely started on this adventure. This is going to be my summer project and well since I don't have anything else going on really I'm shooting to update this about twice a week (once a week at the very least). I do live on feedback so comments and kudos are more than welcome! So is constructive criticism! So please enjoy this wondrous roller coaster of an adventure!

People say that time heals all wounds, but then the question becomes how long?

How long will it take for the wounds of things committed and things received to heal into scars or to disappear from the forefront of our memory?

Physical wounds such as gashes, cuts, and bruises; injuries gained from battle or from an encounter with a dangerous beast. Damage done from a beating by your fellow survivors whether you're innocent or not or wounds from a simple accident, all of them heal.

All of them turn to scars in time.

But what about the wounds you can't see? The one's that you are reminded of every time you see those scars; the ones that are still dripping blood refusing to close, to heal, to simply disappear within the depths of your consciousness. What about those? What about the damage that is done to the mind, to the heart, by a loss, a betrayal, a decision.

Do those ever heal? Do they ever stop lurking in the dark corners of the inner psyche, torturing you by sneaking their way back to the forefront of your mind just enough to plant that addicting seed that you can't stop thinking about until your body forces itself to sleep?

How long do those take to heal?

Do they ever?

Clarke Griffin had no idea, but after a little over two months of solitude those were the questions that her mind proposed as she looked over the horizon to the seemingly never ending ocean. Leaving was what she felt like she had to do to heal, to come to terms with the decisions she had made and the events that unfolded.

She left because she couldn’t face them, look at them every day and be reminded of that night, but was that really the right decision?

"I don't know." Clarke said quietly to herself as she brushed a thumb over a still pink scar that marked her left hand. A wound she had gotten about a week into her travel. She had been hunting and came across a boar, unfortunately for her, she misjudged how quick the beast was and had been cut by one of its tusks as it tried to defend itself. Needless to say she did not roast boar that night over her fire.

Tonight, however, Clarke sat under the stars on the beach of a small inlet cove that had become her isolated home with some rabbit over a fire. This place was gorgeous during the day with the tree line giving way to the small sandy beach that was enclosed by rocks on either side that stretched out into the water to form a narrow opening into the shallows.

At night, however, this place seemed to come alive. She realized early on that many of the animals that lived near the shore hunted at night, but they were only heard and hardly ever seen. Tonight was one of the few exceptions to that as a large owl sat perched in one of the high trees watching the fish in the water of the inlet bustle in the shallows.

She had stumbled upon this place on accident after a fall down a large hill, and since she had taken up residence here the quiet, serene nature of this little sanctuary had been fairly therapeutic for her. It allowed her time to think and time to distract herself. She had gathered some supplies, after she left Camp Jaha, from both the drop ship and the bunker including a tent they had used against the acid fog, a backpack, a couple knives, and some art supplies which proved to be one of her greatest distractions; it had been when she was in solitary on the Ark so it seemed only fitting it would be the same on the ground.

But distractions could only be that for so long, and tonight was one of those nights that her mind's will was too strong and no deterrence would stop it.

She inspected her rabbit and took it off of the fire propping the mount into the sand so she could feed the fire a few more small branches from her gathered pile. Eyeing the owl again and determining that it wouldn't swoop in and steal her meal she stood and walked to her tent. Finding the metal lid she used a plate she turned back towards the fire, but stopped when she saw the small stack of sketchbooks she had collected from the bunker, poking out the top of her unzipped backpack.

Kneeling down in front of the bag she grabbed one of the filled books, the first one she had drawn in when she arrived. She studied the cover for a moment the dark brown covering was fairly faded with a small watermark the bottom from her own sweat and a singed corner at the top from her first attempt at drawing strictly by firelight.

Tucking the book underneath her arm she walked back to her fire, grabbing her canteen along the way. "Hm," she said shaking the bottle and hearing under half a bottles worth of water sloshing around, "Looks like I'm going back to the stream tomorrow".

After placing one more, small log onto the fire, Clarke sat and placed her rabbit on her makeshift plate and unsheathed her knife from where it sat next to her on the flat stone she had moved in front of her fire pit.

She watched the flames dance as she ate. They were so wild, unbidden, and free as the embers escaped and floated into the cool night air. For a fleeting moment she wished she was one, a flame that kept growing unrestrained to the whims of morality or concerned with the protection of others but powerful, commanding, and beautiful.

Clarke placed her hands over the fire and watched as the flames barely licked at her palms. Like anything, anyone, else fire can be equally dangerous as it is breathtaking and caution must be considered but in some cases one can't help but throw that caution to the wind with the embers and embrace the untamed.

Clarke pulled her hand away when a flame danced too high and brushed against the heel of her palm. She poured some of her water over her hand to soothe the forming burn, but didn't waste much for she knew she would place her hand back again just as she had done almost every night.

Finishing her rabbit Clarke sat it to the side; she tended to leave a bit of meat on the bones before she tossed them into the forest for the scavengers during the night, and pulled her jacked further around her.

Clarke looked up and watched as the owl, still perched in its tree, lowered itself and spread its wings to dive and catch its own meal for the night. After the predator vanished into the forest, Clarke leaned back on her elbows and tilted her head up towards the sky. There wasn't a cloud in the sky tonight and the stars were everywhere. She remembered reading a book on the Ark about astronomy and the constellations however up when you are among them it is difficult to tell which one is which, but since she arrived on the ground on some nights she could pick out all of the ones she remembered reading about.

Tracing with her finger against the air Clarke mapped out the constellations; Draco, Cassiopeia, Ursa Major and Minor, and after some thought and searching she finally found Andromeda. She smiled as she watched them, picking out more and more as her mind ventured back to her youth. Her smile turned somber however as those memories returned.

Her father loved the stars, he had been the one to sit with her when she was younger and teach her how to decipher them on star maps. He had gotten so excited when talking about the stars, about how far away they were from the Ark but yet were so bright. Sometimes he would sneak her out past curfew and take her to the far side of the Ark that pointed away from the bright light of Earth to a large lookout with a powerful telescope in a decommissioned part of the Ark. They would sit there for what seemed like hours picking out what constellations, planets, and other things that scattered the cosmos.

Clarke sighed as she tilted her head back down to the glowing warmth of the fire. Adding another log she warmed her hands, but not enough to get caught again this time.

"I miss you, Dad." She said looking up again towards Polaris.

_Maybe the dead do look down upon us from the stars_. Scoffing at her own thoughts she brought her gaze back down, "What would you think of me now? Your daughter the foolish teenage leader and mass murderer, you would be so proud."

She bit her lip at her own sarcasm and slammed her eyes shut, fighting back the stinging tears that were forming. The thing was that Clarke knew her father _would_ be proud of her. She knew that he would say that she has done so much good and yeah maybe she has stumbled along the way and her choices had more dire consequences then others did and maybe she didn't make the right ones, but she did what she had to in order to survive in order to protect the ones she loved.

But she knew that he would also tell her to never lose herself amongst all of the difficulties, to stay true to who she was and not let anyone tell her differently, not even him because life should be about more than just surviving.

Clarke felt the sticky heat of a tear escaping her lashes as the memories of the last time she said those words flooded her mind. She had quoted him them to a person she found both endearing and stubbornly stoic at the same time, but now felt confusion and anger mixed with the wanting to be understood by someone she knew would and the warmth that came with those green eyes.

She shook her head and another tear escaped. No, that was something she couldn't do right now and she pushed the memories back into the blurry fog from where she usually kept them, just out of reach.

Gods what would her father think about that. She chuckled a little and wiped the forming droplets form her eyes as she pictured her father telling her "Go for it, Griffin."

Oh how she missed him, but he was gone and the only family she had left, well, she didn't know if she could ever forgive. Her mother had had her father killed, and yes they may have seen the skewed reasoning behind each of the others decisions but that didn't mean that everything was fine.

She had left without saying a word to her mother, without making sure that everyone recovered from that night. Hell she left because _she_ needed to recover, but being out here with no one to talk to but herself and the occasional animal that would wander close enough to see if they could steal anything from her had gotten her where?

Sighing Clarke turned and grabbed her plate of bones along with one of the torches she had made earlier that night and lit it against the fire. As she walked she tried to clear her mind, everything was so jumbled and chaotic with memories and decisions that she needed a break.

After walking for several yards, far enough into the tree line that the scavengers wouldn't wander too close in the night but close enough that she could still see the crackling light of her fire, she tossed the bones into the underbrush and began her way back.

As her campground grew closer and closer Clarke's mind began to betray her yet again to the memories she had no desire to deal with. When she passed through the tree line she went straight to the water where she washed her lid in the salty shallows. Finally sitting back down on her rock, in front of her fire she had just fed, her hand landed on something she had forgotten.

Her sketchbook.

Running her hand over the covering Clarke picked the bound papers up and with a long moment and a sigh of contemplation, for she knew what she would find inside, she opened the book and began leafing through the pages.

Every single one was filled with some kind of drawing some with the landscapes of Earth and some with the creatures that inhabit it.

Further into the book she came to a drawing of a large circular door, darkened with the shadows of the night that she stood in front of it. In the forefront of the pencil drawing was a single hand gripping the handle of a lever. She stared at the drawing for several moments before flipping the page.

A few pictures afterwards she came to one that made both her breath catch and her teeth grit. _Why did I have to make these so freaking lifelike_ , she grumbled internally as she looked at her artwork. As she looked at the dark sketch of braided hair, silver armor adorning black cloth, dark war paint staining cheekbones and the insignia of a leader, and features that were schooled into that typically impassive look, but with full lips that were quirked just the slightest Clarke found that none of those things caught her full attention. She didn't remember putting the color into the drawing, but the bright, forest green eyes staring back at her were so detailed and so telling of the woman they belonged too.

For a moment Clarke was in awe, forgetting that this in fact was her own work because of the realness of the drawn eyes and the emotions they possessed. The sadness but confidence, resignation and power they resembled perfectly the emotions that swirled within the Commander's eyes that night when all Clarke was searching for was hope.

Clarke closed the notebook with a thud and set it aside. Burying her face in her hands, the blonde let out a frustrated sigh before pushing herself up off of her seat. She began pacing the small beach, because apparently that's what Clarke did when she had nights like this.

Nights where she was questioning her decision to leave; nights when Lexa wouldn't stay away from her mind.

Since the day they met, Clarke and Lexa had been equals versed in different arts; seemingly two sides of the same coin. What had started out as political and survivalist need quickly became something more, something promising, dangerous, and intriguing. There was just something about the Commander, something that went beyond the fact that she understood Clarke in ways no one else seemed too, and Clarke knew what it was and she hated it just as much as she loved it…

Lexa made her feel free and inhibited in so many ways. Yes, they did spend a lot of their time discussing strategy and war, but even when they did that Clarke wasn't put down she was challenged in the best way possible. However, the other times they spent alone would always be engraved in Clarke's mind. They would talk about anything and everything, learning each other's cultures, pasts, and personalities. It was easy, it was _normal_ if that word even existed now.

Clarke knew what she was feeling. She felt the development of something that could grow beyond what either of them thought possible, but they were both still grieving.

And then the kiss happened and it seemed like the promise of at least something was solidified.

Until it wasn't.

Until she left and even through Clarke's logical understanding she had lost her trust and it seemed as though the promise walked away when the Commander did that night even though a new promise of meeting again was set.

_She's gone. She's probably back in Polis now so there's really not a point to dwelling on things. She made her decision_. Clarke thought to herself as she paused her pacing to look out over the water. Sleep was gnawing at the edges of her; it had long day and an even longer night.

Her fire had already died to mostly ash so after smoothing the rest of the small flames and gathering her things she settled into her small tent.

What seemed like several hours, but was probably only a few past and Clarke hadn't moved. She was still wide awake looking into the ceiling of her tent that was illuminated by the stars and moon still strong in the sky. She had decided to let her mind take its own course through the things that had troubled it that night and it seemed as though she had finally made a decision.

"I have to go back." She whispered to herself in the darkness.

She had spent too much time alone and it wasn't doing anything for her, and she missed everyone. Her friends, her mother, she missed all of them and maybe actually confronting the burden instead of bearing alone so they don't have to is a better way.

Sitting up, Clarke reached over towards her pack and plucked out the sketchbook. Leafing through the pages with her night adjusted eyes she came back upon the drawing of the door with the lever. She looked at the drawing for a moment, making sure that this is what she needed to do and carefully tore the page from its binding.

The night was still in full swing as she exited her tent, but the celestial bodies had shifted with the time and now it seemed brighter than what it had earlier in the night. Walking to her fire she saw a few embers still burning in the hot ashes and leaning down amongst the sand she blew at the embers and watched as they grew with the added oxygen into small smoking bodies. Gripping the paper tightly, Clarke placed a corner in the ashes and held it there until the embers caught.

She watched as the drawing of that night and the events that that door and lever symbolized burned away and joined the ashes. After a few minutes the small flames had died out and the sketch was gone with it.

She would leave first thing in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Temptation is a bitch.

And so is hunger for that matter.

Because for three and a half days Clarke had been walking…and walking… making her way north back to Camp Jaha, and honestly she had kind of forgotten how far away she had actually ended up. Her walk to the cove had been bit of a blur really, full of chaotic thought and displaced feelings that made it so she didn't really register exactly where she was heading.

The way back however, well to put it simply it sucked.

She hadn't slept all too well and her mind was constantly running off on some tangent about whether or not the rest of the Sky People would even welcome her back or what if something happened and they were all gone or worse, and now it seemed her mind had chosen the lovely topic of the Commander which Clarke stubbornly tried to push away to no avail.

And to top it all off, she was starving. She hadn't eaten, aside from a stash of berries she had and a scarce amount of nuts she found, since her last night on the beach but it wasn't for lack of trying. She had kept close enough to the ocean that the smell of salt lingered in amongst the trees so she had tried fishing which only ended up causing her to slip off of the rocks and get a mouthful of salt water and sand.

It seemed as though all of animals had vanished, or more likely they were sneakier then she was and got away before she could catch sight of them. There were berries, however, plenty of berries that were perfectly ripe and looked so juicy and delicious; unfortunately, they also happened to be poisonous, but oh how they tempted her.

The day was hot and sticky, and it wasn't helping Clarke's hydration any. She knew exactly where she was, however, and decided to go more inland to a small freshwater creek that she remembered was only a couple of miles from where she was and maybe she would actually find some food. Turning her course Clarke started focusing on her surroundings for when the copious amounts of fatal temptations would end.

She let out of an exasperated sigh of relief when she reached the stream. Falling to her knees, Clarke let her overstuffed backpack fall off of her shoulders as she scooped up some of the crystal clear water to take a drink.

After splashing some water on her face to clear it of dirt, Clarke sat back on her heels and looked around. The forest was still a lively verdant green, but as she turned her gaze upward she noted that the very tops of the trees were starting to turn color and her mind's desires took over with a memory of a conversation with Lexa.

_"The trees turn golden and red," Lexa had said as she moved with ease through the winding non-existent trail between the trees, "When you see it happen, well that's one of your first signs to start preparations for winter."_

_"It's the chlorophyll breaking down." Clarke said absently as she carefully stepped over a large tree root._

Clarke smiled to herself as she remembered the utterly confused look on the Commander's face.

_"It's the chemical that makes the leaves green, when it breaks down that green color goes away and the yellow and orange pigments come out and sometimes they can turn red depending on the other chemical reactions that happen within the leaves-" Clarke trailed off as she realized she was babbling and that by this time they had stopped walking. Lexa was simply standing before her, arms crossed over her chest with an eyebrow raised and an amused smile playing her features._

_"I read it in a book!" Clarke huffed defensively as she started walking past the Commander. Lexa's smile only grew and her eyebrow arched further._

_"Oh shut up." Clarke muttered glancing back at her companion._

_"I didn't say anything." Lexa replied with a laugh._

It was one of the few times Clarke had heard Lexa laugh. Every time it had happened though was when they were alone either in the Commander's tent or off on one of their walks. They had taken several of those when they needed to get away from the stress of either camp and the constant worry about getting their people back.

Their walks usually turned into lessons as Lexa would teach Clarke about how to live on the ground. From how to hunt different game to identifying whether or not a berry was poisonous or not and how to tell where exactly you are in the forest.

They would walk in comfortable silence or talk about their lives and their cultures, learning so much about the other that both women found that they had a lot more in common than they initially thought. Those walks, those nights in the tent, and the company she held became a sort of refuge for Clarke.

And she was more than certain that the feelings she developed for the Commander blossomed during those times.

_But I'm not going to have them again. She left. She's gone. So stop thinking about it Clarke._

Filling her canteen and trying to shake the thoughts away Clarke was taken out of them with a start when a loud crashing came into earshot. Whipping her head around and her hand instinctively falling to the knife her belt Clarke scanned the forest to try and find the source.

She looked across the stream and pinpointed the noise coming from the southwest; it was moving the direction she was initially headed and fast. Throwing her pack over her shoulder, all Clarke could think of is that whatever it was it could be food; she was running across the stream before she could finish the thought.

It was as if her baser primal instincts had taken over her as she silently weaved through the trees to catch up to her quarry.

She ran for a few miles before the tell-tale crashing of tree branches suddenly stopped. Crouching behind a large trunk Clarke unsheathed her blade; she still had no idea what she was chasing, the thick underbrush of the forest had blocked it from view, but she had an idea. It was agile like a deer, but far too loud so it might be a boar and if it was, well, she knew she should have a spear or hell even a gun especially since her last encounter with such a beast didn't end quite as she intended but Clarke was starving and this point she didn't care.

Her prey was only a few yards ahead of her seemingly resting after its sprint behind some large bushes. Clarke slowly moved forward, watching her steps as to not make any sudden noises and scare it off.

She had crept just on the other side of the bush, she was so close and whatever it was hadn't noticed her yet. She could hear its labored breathing and her heartbeat accelerated with the thought of finally having a decent meal. Eyes dilated from the adrenaline surge, Clarke tightened her grip on her knife took a deep breath and rushed around the bush.

Her adrenaline hazed eyes made everything a blur as she crashed into her prey, knocking it over and preparing her blade for a strike.

"Ahhhh!"

The scream knocked the blurriness out of her vision and she looked down at what had made it.

"Monty?"

Clarke looked down at the young man, her expression more than likely matching his in shock and confusion. Monty's eyes flashed a bit of fear then as he blinked between Clarke and the knife she still held to his throat. Following his gaze, Clarke immediately pulled the blade back and removed her knee that probably left a bruise on his sternum; standing up she held out a hand for him.

"What the hell?" she asked, pulling him to his feet, "I could have killed you! I thought you were a boar."

"I could ask you the same thing, you scared the crap out of me!" he said as she brushed some leaves off of is clothes.

"Monty, what happened? Why were you running through the woods like a madman? And why are you even out this far from camp by yourself?" Clarke asked him as she sheathed her knife in her belt and picked a few leaves from her hair.

When he didn't reply right away, Clarke brought her gaze back to him. He had a look of fear driven realization on his face, like he remembered something that her attack made him momentarily forget. "Monty?" she asked, concerned.

He looked around before finally making eye contact. "I wasn't alone," Monty said before he momentarily flicked his gaze down and taking a deep breath before looking back up, "I was with a team, we-we were out on a scouting mission in the west. It was me, Octavia, Jasper, and Monroe. We were attacked by I-I don't know what, they weren't anything we have ever seen they looked human, but different."

He paused and ran a hand through his hair and Clarke waited for him to continue. "When were attacked, it was so chaotic and I-I hid behind some bushes so they couldn’t see me." He looked down again, "They took them. These things, they took the three of them and as soon as they were gone I ran. I started running back towards camp, I never stopped running, but then you tackled me and-Gods I'm such an idiot!" he said throwing his hands up, "Why didn't I stay and help them or follow after them or something instead of running away again?"

They were silent for a moment, mostly so Clarke could process what she just heard. After a few moments she put a hand on her friend's shoulder, "Monty, if you had stayed you could have been taken too or killed and then who would there have been to tell the others what happened?" he looked up at her and she smiled at him, "now come on, we can probably make it back to camp by nightfall if we get a good pace."

Clarke started walking again, and after a few paces she paused and looked back at her friend, "They're going to be ok. We'll find them, I promise."

Monty gave a small smile and fell into pace next to his blonde companion, "You don't happen to have any food do you?" he asked as they started walking again. Clarke looked at him and sighed in frustration while shaking her head.

They walked in silence for a while before falling into lighter conversation about where Clarke had been and how things were at the Camp.

According to Monty things back at Camp Jaha had been going pretty well in her absence. Bellamy had made a member of the Council and was working with Clarke's mother quite a bit in getting things settled between the remaining delinquents and the other Arkers. They had begun to build a settlement for the winter and things had been fairly peaceful.

"So there hasn't been any trouble with the Grounders?" Clarke asked as they navigated through the trees.

"Not really, no. About a month ago, Indra and a few others showed up at the gate which as you can imagine didn't start out too well. Anyway, she asked to talk to you directly, but since well you were gone she talked to your mom. She said that she had orders from the Commander to offer aid to us in building houses that will withstand the winter."

"Huh." Clarke said she was slightly surprised that Lexa gave the orders; she'd assumed that after that night they would be on their own and that the alliance was terminated. Clarke felt a tightening in her stomach at the thought. _I wonder if she's back in Ton DC…No, there are more important things going on, your friends are missing. The Commander. Doesn't. Matter._

"Yeah, your mom didn't want it at first, no one did really, but we realized that we didn't really know how to build to hold off winter even with Lincoln's help it wasn't going that well so she sent word to accept the help. So, now a couple of Grounders come to camp a few days a week to help with things." Monty shrugged, "Some people are really against it still, but it's not too bad since they started helping we've gotten a bunch of homes built. There might have to be more than just one family to a home, but it'll get us through the winter."

"That's good." Clarke said absently, her mind still traveling back and forth between thoughts.

They stopped after walking for several hours when they found a patch of berries that, after very intense inspection, Clarke deemed not poisonous. They rested and ate their fill and packed some way for the rest of the trip back.

The sky started glowing brilliant shades of orange, pink, and red as the sun started setting, but both Arkers knew that they weren't far from camp, it would be dark by the time they reached the gates but they couldn't stop now.

As they got closer and closer, Clarke's nerves started itching with excitement and a bit of anxiety, she really did miss everyone, but there wouldn't be much time for a reunion. Her mind drifted to what Monty had told her. What had he seen? She knew that because of the radiation, several living things had been affected, but from his descriptions of these things they were sounding more and more like Reapers, but that was impossible they had ended that program and before they even stormed the mountain they had made sure that all of the Reapers would be treated.

_Whatever we're dealing with, I have a very bad feeling about it._

The moon was high in the sky by the time the trees starting thinning out and Clarke got out of her thoughts to the glow of fire light and the shadow of the gate. She heard commotion from behind it and immediately they both raised their hands and called out to the guards. Slowly the gate drew open and they closed the distance from the tree line to the camp.

"Clarke!" she heard the familiar voice of Bellamy call out as he raced out towards them. Smiling she met her friend with a hug. He had become like a brother to her and she couldn’t help but smile even bigger when she felt the rush of feeling home settle in.

"It's good to see you, and back in one piece no less I'm impressed." He said, he greeted Monty then suddenly his face changed as he realized that it was only the two of them. "Where are the others? Did Octavia decide to on a last minute hunt or something?"

Monty's face immediately fell and he lost all eye contact with the older boy. Clarke put a hand on Bellamy's arm to get his attention, "Bell, something's happened we need to talk to you and the others."

Waves of confusion, worry, and fear rolled over his face, his features clearly showing the turmoil his mind was racing through about what might have happened to his little sister. The silence was broken by more familiar voices echoing from inside the camp and Clarke gently guided her two friends back behind the gate.

Reunions were short lived as Bellamy immediately ushered them into the Ark's Council room. Lincoln, Raven, Abby, and Marcus had joined them as Monty explained what happened; the attack, the creatures, but when he told them he ran he did so avoiding eye contact with the others as much as possible; guilt was riddled throughout his face.

There was a moment of silence after the explanation which was broken by the sound of bone meeting metal as Bellamy punched the wall in frustration. "How the hell could this happen? And to think I supported bringing the Grounders back into to the fold to help out and then they go and do _this_?"

"I don't think this was the Grounders." Clarke spoke up immediately, before her mind had a change to think about it. "From what Monty described whatever these creatures are they aren't fully human or if they are they were extremely affected by the radiation."

This got the blonde a glare from her fellow leader, but she knew he was simply angry that his sister was taken. "I have to agree with Clarke," Kane chimed in, "They have been helpful and we have no reason to suspect them in this attack." He turned his attention to Lincoln who had been stoically silent since greeting Clarke back home, "Lincoln does any of what Monty described mean anything to you? Could this be an attack by the other Grounders? Maybe a different clan?"

"You said your party was exploring west of here, did you make it too a great mountain range, something far larger then where the Mountain Men's bunker was?" he looked up to see Monty shake his head no and sighed, "We call them _Jus Trikova_."

"Blood Shadows?" Clarke translated

Lincoln nodded, "We have no idea what they are, but they aren't apart of any clan. We don't even know if they're human. They have mainly been legend among my people, however we know they're out there, they have taken many lives from the different clans over the years. It's simply just known to my people never to venture too far west into the mountains for fear of coming into contact with them. We don't know who or what they are or where they come from only that they are extremely dangerous. However, there have never been any sightings of them where you were; you shouldn't have come into contact with them at all."

"I don't care what they are or how dangerous these things are, they took my sister and I'm getting her back." He locked eyes with Lincoln with fiery anger, "You of all people should want that too."

Lincoln's jaw visibly set, "I never said I wasn't coming with you, but unless we want to get ourselves and the rest of them killed we need to be careful."

"He's right Bellamy," Raven said causing the staring match to be broken and Bellamy's anger settled on her, "Look, I want them back too. We just got our people back a couple of months ago and now this happens, I get it, it sucks but we need to do this level heads. I mean seriously they're called Blood Shadows, they have to have gotten that name for a reason."

His anger was still clearly at the surface but the young leader knew his friends were right.

"Can you get us back to where they were taken?" Clarke asked Monty after Bellamy had silently agreed to do this with some sort of plan.

Monty nodded again, "It's a little over a half day's walk from here."

"Okay, gather what you need, I'm assuming that saying no to any of you isn't going to do anything," Abby said looking around at the young members of the room, "Take what you need and be careful. It will be light in a few hours so it would probably be best to leave then. There aren't a whole lot of dried meats and berries left, but you should be able to take enough for at least a day or two; you'll have to hunt the rest of the time." Abby paused and looked at Clarke, "Bring them back."

Clarke nodded and their team of delinquents dispersed to pack supplies.


	4. Chapter 4

As the sky started to lighten up, Clarke was pretty much ready to go. She had unpacked her art supplies and sketchbooks and hidden them away in her room that was still intact on the Ark. Since she had extra room in her pack now she decided to simply fill it with a blanket since she knew how chilly the nights could get. Zipping up her backpack, Clarke looked over at the small table that was next to her bed, walking over to it she pulled out the drawer and ran her fingers along the cool metal of her handgun; she always kept one in here just in case.

Picking it up, she flexed her fingers around the grip and felt the weight of it in her palm. When she had reached the cove she had thrown her gun into the ocean. She didn't want anything to do with mechanical death dealers after what had happened with Dante; mostly, however, it was because she didn't trust herself with that power.

Because a gun provided an easy, simple way to take a life all you had to do was aim and pull the trigger. She had done it on too many occasions, and taking a life shouldn't be that easy. But despite everything she knew it was her best bet at protection from whatever was out there; bullets were cruel, but effective.

Placing the gun into her waistband and closing the drawer, Clarke grabbed her pack and left the Ark.

Clarke headed over to the food stores and began placing a small amount of dried meat and berries into a pack; it would only last her a day or so but she had gotten fairly good at hunting when there was game. Sneaking a few pieces of dried meat for her still empty stomach, Clarke couldn't help the indecent moan that escaped her as she savored the food.

"You might have time to actually have a proper meal if you want too, you know."

Startled, Clarke wheeled around to see her mother leaning against the door frame laughing at her daughter who had pause mid-chew; her cheeks starting to burn a bright red of embarrassment.

Clarke didn't know what to say. She had prepared for all sorts of reactions that her mother could have when she finally came back and what she would say to all of them, but now that she was finally in the moment she had no idea. She was still angry at her mother for what happened with her dad, but at the moment none of that seemed to matter.

She was expecting her mother to yell at her or something along those lines because she had left without a word and well, because of everything else that had strained their relationship since Abby landed on Earth. But instead, before Clarke had a chance to open her mouth to speak her mother had crossed over to her and wrapped her in her arms.

The action was the final chink in her armor.

Uncharacteristically, Clarke began to sob firmly in the grip of her mother's protective embrace. "Oh honey," Abby said stroking her daughter's hair, "It's alright. It's alright."

They stood like that for several moments, Abby whispering comforting words and Clarke finally giving in to what she felt like she had wanted to do since that dreadful night. When Clarke's sobs dried up she pulled away from her mother and wiped her nose; Abby ran her thumbs over Clarke's cheeks, brushing away the tear stains.

"I'm so happy your safe Clarke. I missed you so much." Her mother said holding onto her shoulders like she might drift away if she left go.

"I missed you too Mom." Clarke said as she sniffled and tried to gain some sort of composure back. "I'm so sorry, for everything but I-"

Clarke was interrupted by her mother shaking her head and pulling her into another embrace, "There will be plenty of time to talk about everything when you get back." Abby pulled back from the hug, "I know there are plenty of things we need to talk about and work through and as much as I don't want you to go because I just got you back, I know I can't stop you."

Clarke lowered her eyes, as her mother continued, "Go save your friends, but promise me you'll come back."

Clarke looked up and saw the mix of motherly concern and protection with complete love and understanding filling her mother's eyes. Feeling the stinging of another wave of tears behind her own eyes Clarke simply nodded, "I promise."

Abby gave her daughter a small smile, "You should finish getting your things together, the others are going to be meeting at the gate soon."

Clarke grabbed her pack of food and started for the door. "Clarke," Abby said and Clarke stopped at the threshold to look at her, "I love you, sweetheart." Abby said with a smile. Clarke returned it fully, "I love you too Mom."

As Clarke approached the gate she saw Bellamy, Monty, Lincoln already there and waiting. Looking over to the side she smiled at Raven who had just given Wick a quick kiss goodbye before coming up and falling into pace beside her.

"So, you ready to get back out into the wilderness, blondie?" Raven said with a smile, "You better have learned some fancy survival tips while you were out there."

They started out at a good pace as they left Camp Jaha. Monty was able to show Lincoln where it was that the others were taken on a map and the Grounder had mapped out the fastest route to get there. If they kept up this pace they should reach it before nightfall.

The beginning of the journey was fairly quiet. Monty was walking with Raven both silent in thought, while Lincoln was focused on navigating them through the forest. Bellamy was less angry then he was during the meeting, but now his features showed just how worried he was about Octavia.

"She's tough," Clarke said beside him, "She'll be okay, but she wouldn't want you doing anything stupid and getting yourself hurt in the process. We'll get her out from where ever she is; in fact, she's probably already finding a way out as we speak."

He didn't look at her, "I know she tough and she can take care of herself, but it's still my job to keep her safe."

There was another long silence among the group, but after a while it was Bellamy's turn to break it, "She asked me to go with them." Clarke looked up towards him they came up to a clearing, "She said I needed a break; that I was too busy with the Council and the building projects and that I was becoming an irritable ass." He chuckled dryly, "We don't even know if they're alive. Jasper, Monroe, Octavia how do we know that whatever Monty saw didn't just kill them?"

Clarke looked over at her friend "I guess we don't, but if I've learned anything since coming down here is that we'll do anything we can to save our people, no matter the odds."

Bellamy met her gaze, his expression changing a bit from his worry, "You're right, we do, and we do those things for the right reasons."

"We _justify_ those things by saying they're for the right reasons when there could've been another way and we didn't bother to find it." Clarke snapped, and then looked away realizing she'd unintentionally changed the conversation.

After a moment Bellamy spoke, his voice softer, "Clarke, plans don't last very long in battle. We did what we had to; I pulled that lever with you. There wasn't another choice and we both know it."

For a moment, Clarke's treacherous mind flashed back to when Lexa had spoken those exact words to her one night in her tent. When Clarke had been tirelessly working through strategies and backup plans, and Lexa had, despite Clarke's own stubbornness, actually gotten through to her about being a leader. _And look where that got me. I'm not born for this…Stop! This isn't the time to wallow in your self-pity or have a life crisis over your feelings. She's not here, Griffin, get it together!_

Her thoughts came back into reality when Bellamy continued, "Look, I get what you're feeling a part of me still wishes we could have saved them, but you made the right call, Clarke." He smiled at her and slung an arm around her shoulder, "and besides your right, Octavia's probably already gotten herself out of it by now anyway. So what do say, Princess, how about we both try to keep each other sane this time?"

"You know I hate it when you call me that." Clarke said dryly, giving him a sideways glare.

Before Bellamy could laugh at her remark Lincoln abruptly stopped, holding a hand up to signal the others to be quiet. Instinctually, Clarke placed one hand on the hilt of her dagger and the other on the grip of her gun.

Everyone seemed to tense as Lincoln scanned their surroundings. A rustling of leaves caught Clarke's attention, and as she looked over she saw a streak of grey glint off the sun before it disappeared. Lincoln seemed to see it too and immediately his entire demeanor changed, his posture got locked and low and he unsheathed his own sword; taking note the rest of the party drew their weapons.

"Wolves." Lincoln whispered just loud enough to be barely heard across the small distance between all of them "Stay together and stand your ground. The pack will target anyone who's on their own." He continued motioning for them all to close the distance separating them.

Standing back to back with guns and blades pointed at every angle the group stood in silent tension, waiting, watching.

A few more leaves rustled and low growls started echoing from all directions. Clarke's heart was pounding faster and faster, she was sure Raven and Bellamy who flanked her on either side would be able to hear it. She knew there were wolves in the forest, she had heard the Grounder stories of the few packs that called the Clan's territory home and how notorious they were for making the Grounder hunters the hunted.

However, when the growling grew louder and louder spots of dark fur became visible from within the lush green around them Clarke realized the stories didn't do any justice.

A large, snarling wolf emerged from the brush in front of her. It was far larger than anything she had anticipated; its fur was black as night with silver tips scattered about its muscular form causing the mouthful of large, gleaming teeth to stand out more menacingly.

One by one, Clarke moved her gaze around the circle as more and more wolves appeared and surrounded them; all in all there were ten wolves outnumbering them, all equally large and varying shades of black, grey, and white.

Clarke moved her eyes back to the breathtaking and predatory beast in front of her and looked into its hungry eyes, noticing that one was blue and one was brown and as if on cue the beast let out a ferocious snarl making Clarke involuntarily flinch.

The beast took a step forward and that moment Clarke realized that this one was the largest of the group and that she was face to face with the alpha male of the pack; all of the others seemed to mirror its movements. She heard a gulp, but honestly wasn't sure if it came from her or one of her companions as the pack all lowered themselves readying for an attack.

Clarke tightened her grip on her weapons, feeling her knuckles go white. Then, without warning a gunshot rang out followed by a yelp. Clarke whipped her head around to see Monty holding his gun, trembling in his hand and one of the wolves in front of him, a grey and white striped one, nursing a paw that was stained red but before she had a chance to register what had happened the alpha in front of her growled low yet loud and terrifying casing her attention to refocus.

These beasts weren't scared of guns, and Clarke knew for a fact she was the one to gulp this time.

A second later, the wolf was charging straight her, she raised her gun to fire but it was leaping towards her before she realized the safety was still on.

Everything seemed to happen so fast after that. Gunfire rang throughout the air acting as an irregular drone to the sound of growls and fighting.

Letting instinct take over, Clarke was able to dodge the animal's attack, only to come face to face with another. Seeing nothing but sharply pointed teeth closing in on her Clarke raised her blade and cut through thick fur. Barely registering the whimper of pain coming from the animal Clarke flipped the safety off of her handgun and fired two rounds directly into it.

Through the chaos, Clarke saw the fighting around her. There was only one other wolf lying motionless on the ground. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Raven and Monty, still back to back firing unsuccessfully at four of the radiation effected animals who were circling them. Clarke immediately started sprinting over to them raising her gun out in front of her to try and take aim, but she only got halfway too them when she felt a splintering pain trap her leg before she felt her feet leave the ground and her body go weightless in the air.

Her back smashed into a tree a moment later causing black spots to cover her vision for a moment. Still slightly dazed she heard the sounds of battle cries coming from the forest as three other figures rushed into the melee.

Shaking her head out of the blur of her vision Clarke's breath caught in her throat as she looked directly into familiar beautifully green eyes, shrouded in the smear of dark war paint.

The world around her seemed to slow in that moment before it quickly snapped back into the reality with sight of silver tipped, black fur above them. Lexa swiftly turned her body, catching the side of the beast's large head with her elbow sending it flying to the side with its own weight.

Then she was gone and into the fray of fighting. Clarke stood, ignoring the pain radiating from her leg she ran towards her friends who had been able to get away from their attackers. The odds had evened out then but the pack wasn't backing down.

As if they were a military platoon the pack collected together, and fanned out in a line in front the Grounders and Sky People; they all launched at once, the wolves like missiles. A cry of pain came out over the noises of the fighting and Clarke was able to spare a second to look over and see one of the Grounder warriors that came with Lexa fall to the ground, two wolves digging their powerful teeth into his back and neck. The screaming stopped almost as suddenly as it started, but Clarke was forced to shift focus to the beast in front of her.

She was out of bullets and with no time to clip in another magazine Clarke was forced into close quarters with her dagger. After a few dodges from clawed attacks Clarke was able to get to the side of the wolf. Taking the opportunity, she stabbed her dagger directly into the less muscled underbelly of the wolf, dropping it immediately.

Looking up she saw Lincoln and Bellamy helping Monty and Raven to their feet, "Run!" Lincoln bellowed before turning and picking Raven up in his arms and sprinting southwest with Bellamy and Monty. Clarke was right behind them. Looking to her left to see Lexa pull her sword out of the neck of one of the wolves she made eye contact with the Commander who started after her.

The two women pushed their legs until they were just behind the rest of the group. They heard the snarls and sounds of cracking branches as the remaining six wolves chased them through the forest. Over her thundering heartbeat Clarke began to hear the rushing of water.

The ripping of flesh took over her hearing, however as she looked to the side to see the alpha wolf digging its teeth into Lexa's shoulder.

Lexa was ripped back like a rubber band by the powerful jaws and Clarke unthinkingly turned her course straight for them. Clarke saw the glint of Lexa's dagger as she pulled it from its sheath with her other hand and begin to stab the animal anywhere she could to release its grip. The other wolves weren't far behind but Clarke didn't think she skid to a stop, raised her gun and hoped she was aiming correctly as she pulled the trigger.

She got the alpha directly in the shoulder causing him to release just enough pressure for Lexa to pull herself free and stab the animal in the chest, knocking the wind out of it. Lexa was at Clarke's side in an instant and they both took off to catch up with the rest of them. When they finally reached the others however, they were approaching the end of the tree line.

Rushing water filled everyone's ears and they all traded glances seemingly coming to a mutual decision. The wolves were catching up to them as they burst through the trees. Clarke's eyes widened as she saw the large cliff in front of her, there was no turning back now. Lincoln had released Raven from his arms and all at once the six of them jumped off the cliff into the, hopefully deep enough, water below.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke hit the water with a painful thud; however, when she felt her feet touch the muddy bottom of the river she pushed herself up until she reached the surface. Luckily, this part of the river was fairly calm and as she breached the surface and let the oxygen into her lungs she swam to the bank, seeing some of her friends already on their way.

As she reached the bank Lincoln held out a hand and she grasped it tightly as he helped pull her out of the water, but when she placed her feet firmly on the solid ground below her the sharp pain in her leg came back fully and she was forced to lean heavily on him as he walked her over to a large boulder for her to sit on.

"Clarke, are you alright?" she heard an approaching voice say. When the blonde looked up to respond however, her words got caught in her throat as she looked at the concerned expression on Lexa's face. Everyone else paused at that moment and looked at the Commander; none of them had seemed to fully register that she had come in during the battle, but now that everything had settled and the adrenaline was fading from everyone's veins the air seemed to spike with tension.

Clarke's mind seemed to catch up to her racing heart and she looked down to quickly inspect her leg. "It's just a flesh wound. I'll be fine." She replied, but before she could say anymore she was interrupted by Bellamy who took a few steps forward.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned; he didn’t seem angry that she was there, but instead he was extremely cautious and protective. Lexa tore her gaze from Clarke to look at the other leader.

Clarke continued to watch the Commander, taking in her appearance. Like the others, the river ha d soaked her clothing, she wasn't wearing her large shoulder armor and her red cloak was absent. The water had taken with it most of her war paint leaving her face almost bare, only with a few smudges of dirt that marked her cheekbones. Even from where Clarke was sitting she could see Lexa's chest heaving from breath and her posture was situated to favor her left shoulder. But even so, the Commander eyed Bellamy her hand rested on hilt of her sword that had stayed her side.

As Clarke's eyes glided over the smaller, silver armor that covered Lexa's shoulder she noticed that it had been completely punctured and nearly split in half by the impact of the alpha wolf's bite. The silver, however, was stained darker with what Clarke could only assume was blood that looked to be seeping out from around the fractured armor.

The blonde winced when pressure was put on her leg and she looked down to see Lincoln pressing a damp cloth he had retrieved from their waterlogged packs to the wound on her leg. He looked up at her when she tensed but she smiled at him in gratitude and he continued working on cleaning her wound with some medicinal cream that had survived the river.

Clarke's attention turned back to the conversation that was happening in front of her as Lexa started speaking.

"My men and I were looking for some of our people. After all of the Reapers were treated and returned to their families we realized that several were still unaccounted for, then over the past few months several other of our villagers have been going missing throughout our territory, but mostly on the western edge." Lexa looked around the group, seeing the recognition across their faces before turning back to Bellamy, "It's happened to the Sky People as well, hasn't it? The _Jus Trikova_."

Bellamy nodded, but the tension in the air was still thick. None of these people trusted her and Lexa knew that; she'd expected it. She hadn't anticipated finding them or even helping them, but now it seemed they were on the same journey; she was also injured and without backup. She scanned the group noting that Lincoln seemed to be putting on a stoic mask that was common among the Woods Clan and that Bellamy and Monty didn't seem too upset at her presence, but the same couldn't be said for Raven who was glaring at her with a scowl.

And Clarke, well it didn't escape Lexa's attention that the blonde had been staring at her for a few moments but was now purposefully avoiding any sort of eye contact.

"My sister was taken. Monty was with them, he was able to get away from the attack." Lexa looked towards Monty, unmistakable surprise on her face, "Where were you headed?" Bellamy continued

"The two men I was with were sent out to track our missing people, see if they were even still alive." She started, shifting her weight and adjusting her shoulder, "They were able to track the _Trikova_ to a series of caverns southwest of here in the mountains, in an area that isn't inhabited by any nearby Clan." Lexa paused putting pressure on her shoulder, "When my men saw our people being taken into the caverns they were still alive. When they returned and gave me the information I sent another party to one of our allied neighbors to see if they knew anything or had similar events happen, they were going to meet us at the caverns in a few days' time."

"Do you think that they would take our people to the same place?" Clarke asked as she stood up, testing her weight on her newly bandaged leg. As she looked up, however she saw the Commander clutch her shoulder and the blood start streaming out from between her fingers.

"More than likely, yes." Lexa said, focusing directly on Clarke before she felt her knees give way and her vision go black.

\-----------------------

Lexa was only out for a minute or so from fainting due to blood loss, but when she woke up she was looking straight into worrying blue eyes. For a moment she found herself revert back to before the invasion to that moment in her tent, but as soon as the image entered her mind the blue eyes change, purposefully harden into indifference before moving away.

"Can you sit up?" Clarke asked as she moved to alleviate the pressure on her own injury. When Lexa fainted her body had moved without her mind's control and she had landed on knees beside the Commander. Nothing else had seemed to matter in those moments that Lexa's eyes were closed, but when they had opened those swirling, chaotic emotions came flooding back. _Calm down. There's a mission to do and just because she happens to be in the same vicinity as you doesn’t mean you can completely lose it_. Clarke thought to herself.

Lexa must have sensed Clarke's change in demeanor because she immediately became the stoic Commander Clarke was use to when they weren't alone. "Yes, I can." Lexa said pushing herself up into a sitting position.

Clarke's training from her mother seemed to take over and she immediately started on removing the rest of the armor from Lexa's shoulder, while simultaneously trying not to think about to the woman it was attached too. That was cut short fairly quickly, however, when Clarke felt Lexa tense under fingers as started pulling way the metal, "Sorry," she said quickly glancing up at Lexa who was looking over at the others talking, "This needs to be cleaned before it gets infected, we have no idea what kinds of bacteria that wolf had its mouth."

Lexa simply nodded and it was quiet for few moments between them as Clarke finished removing the armor, "Thank you, Clarke." Lexa said drawing Clarke out of her own mind only to have it momentarily go somewhere else. _I really wish she would stop saying my name_. Clarke looked up making eye contact with the Commander and seeing the mask falter just the slightest, "For shooting the wolf, you saved my life."

Lexa's lips quirked up at one corner into a tiny half smile and Clarke immediately looked back down, "It was nothing," she said, trying to be as indifferent as possible, "You saved me from it when you first arrived, I was only returning the favor."

Lexa nodded again and the smile faded, "Thank you nonetheless, and for helping with the wound."

Clarke didn’t respond for a moment as she pulled back the fabric covering the wound. It would definitely scar, but form what Clarke could tell it hadn't damaged any nerves or muscle too badly, but she could clearly make out the individual teeth marks that curved perfectly over the Commander's shoulder, "You're lucky your armor held up as much as it did or I don't doubt the force of that bite would've torn your shoulder completely."

"I've had worse." Lexa said nonchalantly as she looked down at the wound that had finally stopped bleeding.

Clarke snorted, "Of course you have. Let me go find something mostly dry to wrap that with, I'll be right back."

Clarke stood, gritting her teeth a bit as she put weight on her leg and walked over to where the others were talking and all of their gear had been set out to try and dry. As she approached them though, she finally heard the hushed conversation they were having.

"I don’t think it's a good idea." Raven was saying, clearly getting annoyed at the others, "We can track these things from where they took our friends."

"That could take too much time." Bellamy said earnestly, "If there aren't any tracks or any other way to find out where they are from that location then what are we going to do? They could be dead by the time we would even found another way."

"I think Bellamy's right." Monty finally spoke up, "It would be quicker if we went to the caverns she was talking about."

"We don’t even know if she's telling the truth!" Raven said, her voice growing in volume with her anger.

"It's a better plan then what we have, Raven." Monty said, as Raven scowled at him.

"Yeah?" Raven said taking a step towards the boy, "So saying she is telling the truth, who's to say that she won't just manipulate us into helping to save her own people then leave us to fend for ourselves again against whatever these things are? She's done it before. It's stupid for us to trust her again."

Bellamy shook his head and ran a hand through his curly hair. She had a point and no he didn't trust Lexa, but she had offered her people to help them with construction and she knew exactly where these monsters were. Turning away he finally saw Clarke standing at the edge of the group behind him, "What do you think, Clarke? You know her the best."

For a moment Clarke looked back Lexa who was still sitting there, looking at their surroundings. Clarke took a deep breath; she had no idea what to do. Strategically, having Lexa join them would be an advantage; she knew exactly where they should be headed and even injured she was still a great fighter, she knew the terrain probably better than Lincoln did and she would be another body to help with their numbers.

But her trust had been broken. She still felt betrayed and manipulated.

Despite all of that, there was also the other thing that Clarke was trying desperately to avoid. She didn't know how long she would be able to distract herself from or push away the feelings that kept creeping up every time she saw the Commander.

And honestly there was a part of her that didn't know if she wanted to push those feelings away. There was just something that seemed to draw the blonde to the Commander, she had no idea what to call it or how to describe it but it was always there when Lexa was around. It had started soon after the Alliance was made and even though Clarke was so angry that she took the deal it had still come back up when her mind wandered to Lexa.

"She's an asset," Clarke began, she heard Raven groan in frustration, "she's also our best chance at finding Octavia, Jasper, and Monroe alive. Despite what happened I don't think she would do that again, it wouldn’t do her any good. She's outnumbered. She doesn’t have her army backing her up on a decision like that."

Bellamy nodded and turned to the remaining silent member of the group, "Lincoln, what do you think?"

"I don't agree with the decision she made that night, and my allegiances aside," he looked directly at Bellamy, "I want to get Octavia back safely and if the Commander knows where she is I'm willing to take that chance."

Raven threw her hands up, "Fine, you all want to bring her along with us, whatever. But if it turns out she's leading us to a trap or something I'm not guaranteeing that all of my bullets are going to be aimed at the enemy." She said as she stormed off.

Bellamy sighed, "I can't blame her, hell I agree with her, but we need to get them back. I hope we're making the right decision."

Clarke looked back to Lexa, who was fiddling with her dagger, "I do too."

After the discussion had ended Clark grabbed the cream Lincoln had used on her own wound, it would help heal it faster as well as protect from infection. She rummaged through their gear and finally found more bandage wraps among the medical supplies; there wasn't a whole lot left after Lincoln had cut some off for her own injury but it would do.

Walking back over to Lexa, Clarke couldn't help but question herself. Had she made the right decision?

"Raven didn't seem too keen on your conversation." Lexa said when Clarke sat back down next to her.

"Yeah, well, you aren't too high on her best friends' list." Clarke said as she began applying the cream the Lexa's shoulder. The girl's skin was a lot softer than she thought it would be. _I wonder…Don't. You. Dare_. Her minded scolded her; she did not need to go down that particular train of thought at the moment.

She was slightly startled when Lexa spoke up again, "She doesn’t trust me. I don't blame her. I don't blame any of you." Clarke looked up at Lexa's words and saw the Commander regarding her with nothing, but sincerity.

They sat in silence after that until Clarke had finished wrapping the bandages around Lexa's shoulder, "This is probably uncomfortable," Clarke started as she tied the bandage off, "It's at a bit of a weird angle so wrapping it under your armpit was really the only way to get it to work."

"Its fine, Clarke, thank you." Lexa said. Her lips started forming a smile, but the Commander immediately schooled her expression into passive gratitude. She knew that Clarke was uncomfortable and she didn't want to push her luck with the blonde because she had no idea where they stood.

All Lexa knew was that since she walked away and left Clarke in front of the Mountain entrance, the enrapturing and stubborn blonde had been the one thing to dictate her thoughts. After she had dispersed her army, Lexa had rode back to Polis and completely buried herself in her work. After the missile attack on Ton DC, some of the other Clans had been forced into new leadership and dealing with all of that political turmoil had taken up the majority of her time, but at night when she was alone she soon found out that there was no point in trying to fight her mind's desires.

There was still plenty of daylight left by the time they had dried out the majority of their gear so the group decided to walk until sunset and find a place to set up camp for the night from there.

"Which direction are we headed?" Bellamy asked Lexa as he tightened his pack around his chest.

"The caverns are a steady southwest from here; they are further into the mountain range. Once we hit the base of them we'll be able to follow their path until we reach the entrance."

"How long will it take us? I'm assuming it will be at least a couple of days."

"It'll take about three or so, but I will warn you the closer we get the more likely it is we will encounter the Shadows."

"We'll be ready."

After gathering up the rest of their things the group headed into the forest. Lexa and Lincoln stayed at the front of the party directing them around obstacles. They all stayed fairly close together, but were all silent while they walked constantly keeping an eye on the forest around them.

The pain in Clarke's leg had dulled out so she was able to walk on it. While they were walking Clarke had made it her mission to keep watch on the forest, but every now and then she would find her eyes wandering over to the Commander before she would snap herself out of it.

_Maybe I can be like Raven and pretend she's not here. That'll work right?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and reviews! I realize that the first few chapters may have dragged a little bit, but I promise that things are going to be picking up for our favorite couple. Thank you again and I hope you enjoy!

They walked for hours until the sun had completely disappeared beyond the horizon. The walk was mostly quiet, only interrupted by the occasional small conversation. After a while, Raven had finally broken her silence but to only talk to Monty while Lincoln, Lexa, and Bellamy were focused on navigating the terrain.

A few hours in Clarke was able to escape from her mind's pestering and become engrossed in the scenery. Despite all of the blood that had been shed and lives that had been lost in this world there was no doubting the fact that this world was beautiful and enchanting to the eye.

As they continued walking, Clarke could hear the faint sounds of water lapping against rocks and saw a small river through the trees. The water was crystal clear, even in the dimming light, and the wet rocks that dotted the muddy bank glistened in the sunset.

The river began to snake away as they continued to move and shortly after they came upon a clearing that would be big enough to set up their camp. Without saying a word Lexa had gone a few yards into the forest and came back with some branches and twigs and began to build a small fire while the others started unpacking the compact tents and setting them up. They had a total of three, two-person tents and as Clarke finished pitching hers she slowly noticed that the other four members of her group had seemed to pair off.

Raven and Monty were standing by their tent talking; Raven seemingly warning him that he better not kick her in his sleep. While Bellamy and Lincoln had seemed to agree to share, which left only one option and it made Clarke's mouth go a little dry. _Fabulous_ , she thought, _well so much for avoiding her_. She had thought that she had done a fairly good job of avoiding the Commander on the walk, after chastising herself a few times for stealing fleeting glances she had been able to distract herself well enough and she had fully intended to keep that going; sharing a tent with Lexa was not going to help that.

She looked over to the aforementioned girl, who was squatted in front of the fire that she was starting, blowing on a small flame to get it to catch the rest of the tinder. A few seconds later, Clarke saw the smoke starting to rise and Lexa stood, brushing her hands against her pants with a satisfied look on her face as the flames began to grow and the scent of campfire started to engulf them.

Lexa turned around to see Clarke looking at her; she gave the blonde a small nod before reaching down for her canteen and taking a drink. When she looked back up Clarke had turned her attention and Lexa's eyes unconsciously honed into the bottom lip that was being worried between Clarke's teeth and she felt her throat tighten and her own lips begin to tingle as the memory of the kiss they had shared flooded her mind.

She had finally given into herself in that moment. There was something about Clarke that was different from anything she had ever experienced before, but there was also a sense of stability, of comfort that she hadn’t felt since Costia.

Costia…she hadn't let anyone in since her death and for good reasons, but with Clarke all of those feelings had started creeping back in from the moment the blonde walked into her war tent with a purpose and an offer. She hadn't known what it was then or what it would lead too and when she finally did she refused to believe it; she refused to acknowledge that it was even there, but it had failed miserably when they had started spending more and more time together.

The kiss, however, had taken her by surprise almost as much as it did Clarke. She hadn't expected herself to do it but her heart had taken over in that unregretted, spontaneous moment.

Lexa closed her eyes for moment and remembered how Clarke had fully kissed her back and what she had felt in those moments the kiss had lasted; not like the Commander of the 12 Clans, not like a ruthless and stoic leader, but like a young woman who could live in that moment wrapped in those arms with lips pressed hers forever.

Lexa opened her eyes and filled in the cracks that the memory had brought to her passive façade. _She does not trust you. Don’t make things even more uncomfortable than they already are, if she wants to talk about it she will come to you_. Lexa thought to herself as she took a deep breath. She followed Clarke's gaze to the others and their tents and felt a new crack start to form when she realized the reason behind the worried lip and the anxious look on the blonde's face.

"I don't have a problem sleeping out here." She said as she approached the blonde and drawing her attention. Clarke simply looked at her incredulously for a moment.

A part of Clarke honestly wanted to tell her 'that sounds like a great idea' but she wasn't that much of an ass and she also knew how cold the nights could get. "Don't be ridiculous, Lexa, there's plenty of room for the both of us. We're both injured and I know how cold it gets out here." Lexa simply nodded.

The rest of the night past fairly swiftly; they had all sat in front of the fire eating what little food they had that didn't get ruined in the river along with a few nuts and berries that they had found just outside of camp. It had actually been fairly enjoyable, aside from the bit of tension that still seemed to linger. Clarke was warming her hands over the fire as the night chill began to get stronger and listened to the conversation between Bellamy and Lexa.

Surprisingly they actually got along fairly well, or Bellamy was just really good at putting things aside for the sake of lessening the awkwardness. He was asking her about the different Clans; since they were going to be permanently staying here he figured it was a good a time as ever to learn a little more about their neighbors and the culture and politics that was already established. Lexa was more than willing to tell him about it; currently she was talking about the Woods Clan's greatest ally, the Boat People.

Clarke started only listening vaguely to follow the conversation; she had already heard a lot of these stories from Lexa during the evenings spent talking in her tent. "How's your leg?" Lincoln's voice cut through her thoughts and she turned to him.

"Better, thank you. The pain's gone down quite a bit." He smiled at her and added another branch to the fire. Clarke thought for a moment before speaking, thinking about how to say what she wanted to ask. "How are you doing? I mean with- everything? You're clan and all."

He didn't look at her, but when he responded he didn’t sound upset she asked, "You're people can be very kind when they aren't completely distrusting." He glanced up at her, "I still consider the Trigedakru my people, I grew up with them and they're all I've ever known. Do I agree with how things were done on some occasions, no I don't, but in order to survive we have always had to make decisions based purely on what's best for the greatest number. I understand that, I do, and I know you do too." Clarke nodded and looked towards the fire.

"Even with everything that's happened between our peoples, I still think we can all live peacefully. If someone as stubborn as Octavia can thrive and be accepted by my people I'm sure the rest of you can." He said and a small smile formed when he said her name.

Clarke laughed, "She is incredibly hard headed isn't she?" Looking back at the former Reaper, she saw the concern start to form again across his face, "That’s why she'll figure out a way to hold on until we get there. We'll get her back. We'll get all of them back."

"I know we will." He said with certainty. A few moments of silence past between two before Lincoln spoke up again, "I understand how hard it is to try and come to terms with things you've done when you didn't think you had a choice." Lincoln looked directly at her, making sure she understood what he was saying, "As much as we want too, no matter who we are we can't change the past. It's complicated I know, but one thing I have learned, especially since meeting Octavia, is that if you have someone who's actually willing to listen or by chance even knows what you're going through better than anyone else; well, it makes things a lot easier."

He smiled at her knowingly then turned his gaze to where Lexa was sitting, finished talking to Bellamy and staring into the fire deep in thought. He knew the Commander before she was called upon to lead her people, they grew up in neighboring villages and she frequented his when they were both younger. He had also known Costia, they had grown up in the same village and being of similar age they become friends. He knew how Lexa and Costia were, both before and after she had become Commander and seen firsthand how happy they had made each other.

He had also seen how all of that had vanished after Costia's death.

But ever since Clarke of the Sky People had arrived he had seen his Commander change and parts of her demeanor return and break through the grief. He also had a good idea of how Clarke felt for the Commander, but it was only confirmed to him that night at the mountain, something had changed between them that day. He had never been able to figure out what exactly it was, but he had seen everything shatter in both of their eyes when Lexa had walked away.

Now, with the aftermath of everything, he simply hoped that the two women would accept what they both knew; because he had a feeling peace for their people would begin with them.

After everyone had finished eating and was ready to call it a night, they had decided that it would be best to have guard shifts in pairs for the night. Even with what Lincoln had said, Clarke was still conflicted on the topic of Lexa and wasn't quite ready to share a tent with her yet nor was she particularly tired.

"I can take the first shift so you can get some sleep in the tent." Lexa offered to Clarke.

"Oh, it's fine you need to rest that shoulder anyway," Clarke responded, trying to be nonchalant, "and besides that last time you took the first shift on guard duty you didn't get any sleep because you didn't wake me up."

Lexa smiled inwardly as she remembered; it was the night they had gotten attacked by the Pauna. She looked at Clarke, giving the blonde an opportunity to change her mind, "Go get some sleep, Lexa honestly. I'll wake you up for the shift change."

"Alright." She said before turning towards the tent, before she ducked inside she looked over her shoulder at Clarke, stealing a moment to admire her. The light from the fire sent dancing shadows across her face and through her golden tresses that seemed to gleam in the orange light. Clarke seemed to notice that she hadn't gone into the tent yet and looked up to catch the Commander's eye. What she saw in them, however, made her traitorous heart flutter in her chest.

Lexa met Clarke's eyes, _She'll come to you when she's ready_ , "Goodnight Clarke." Lexa said before disappearing into the tent.

Clarke looked back form the tent to see that Raven had apparently been the other one of the group to do the first shift of guard duty. The other girl didn't look at her, just sat across the fire putting together the guns they had taken apart to let dry.

They sat in silence for what seemed like hours; Clarke had taken a few walks around the camp but eventually just stayed in front of the warmth.

"Alright, spill it." Raven said setting the gun she had reassembled over and over again down beside her, effectively breaking the silence and jolting Clarke back to reality. Seeing the confusion upon the blonde's face, Raven sighed, "What's going on between you and Commander Heart-Eyes," she said pointedly, "The tension between you two is gigantic, but it's a whole different kind of tension."

Clarke hoped that the blush that appeared on her cheeks and neck wasn't visible over the glow of the fire, "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

Raven just raised an eyebrow and Clarke knew there was no point in denying anything, "It doesn't matter; nothing's going to happen from it."

"Have you told her that?" Raven quipped, "Oh, wait you're trying to avoid her. How well is that working out for you?" Clarke glared at her, "Sorry, the sarcasm just happens sometimes. But really, what happened between you two?"

Clarke looked towards to her feet, "We kissed, before the invasion, but I stopped it. Everything was happening so fast and it hadn't been too long since-." She let the word hang and didn't need to look up to see the flash of anger and sadness pass over the mechanic's face, "I wasn't ready."

"I'm assuming it was more than just a kiss."

"I don't know how to explain it." Clarke replied looking back up to her friend.

"It's a lot simpler than you think Clarke. You have feelings for her, and even though she isn't my favorite person in the world, I understand why you would. You two are like two sides of irritatingly stubborn, chick-digging coin."

Clarke raised an eyebrow at the comment, but Raven ignored it and continued, "She understands the things you're going through so you feel comfortable with her. On the other hand, she's things you're not; she doesn't make decisions based on what's right or wrong but the ones that maintain survival. But the thing is, is that your opposites is what you find mysterious about her, intriguing about her. She's not what you thought you'd like and that makes her unpredictable, dangerous even and it draws you to her. Am I getting close?"

Clarke must have had look of bewilderment on her face because Raven just smiled. Had it really been that obvious?

"Look, what I'm trying to say is that it honestly doesn't matter what anyone thinks. It's up to you if you want to let the past be the past." Raven yawned just then, the exhaustion form the day catching up with her, "Well I think it's about time I go wake Monty up to take over, I'm beat."

Raven walked into her tent and after a few moments a yelp could be heard from inside and Clarke laughed to herself.

The commotion in the tent seemed to continue when a voice caused Clarke to jump, "I can take over if you're tired." Lexa said. Clarke brought her hand to her chest in fright when she whipped around to see the Commander standing behind her.

"Shit! You really have to stop coming out of nowhere!" she said trying to catch her breath that had escaped her.

"Sorry, it's a force of habit." Lexa said calmly, "Go get some sleep Clarke, we are probably going to be leaving here at dawn." Clarke stood, she didn't have the energy to object or notice the painful soreness of her injured leg from sitting for so long. Lexa didn't say anymore, so Clarke walked past her and into the tent.

It was much darker in the tent with the lack of fire light and it took Clarke a few moments for her eyes to adjust. She sat down on the fur blanket that made up the bed in the tent and took off her shoes, but didn't bother to do anything else before laying back.

Clarke closed her eyes and tried to relax to allow sleep to take her away for the short amount of time she would have left. Unable to get comfortable, however, Clarke rolled onto her side and snuggled deeper into the fur. When she did though, something was different. The blanket smelt like campfire, but it was mixed with distinctive, earthy smell that had always been present in Lexa's tent back the Grounder Camp.

Within moments Clarke had fallen asleep, not caring that she wrapped herself up in the blanket.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Clarke woke up just as dawn was beginning to lighten up the sky. She had actually slept fairly well and wasn't plagued by the nightmares that usually took over. During the night she thought she remembered Lexa coming into the tent for a few hours to sleep, but honestly she wasn't quite sure.

When she opened her eyes and looked around the tent she found that she was alone, and she felt a slight pang in her heart at the thought. Rubbing the sleep away from her eyes she sat up with a yawn. After taking a few moments to collect herself, Clarke pulled her shoes back on and try to smooth out her mused hair that had managed to get knotted up during the night.

Clarke smacked her lips a few times, her mouth was incredibly dry but when she reached for her canteen it was nowhere to be found. Crinkling her brow Clarke searched around the small tent before exiting it see if she had left it outside last night.

When she walked out she was instantly hit with the cool morning air and pulled her jacket tighter around her. It was quiet this morning, with the only sounds being the soft snores that could be heard from the two other tents. As she looked around she noticed that no one was on guard and that Lexa wasn't there and her confusion grew to form a bit of worry.

Clarke glanced around but still couldn't find her canteen; she had almost given up her search when she heard the cracking of twigs just outside their camp perimeter. Immediately, Clarke unsheathed her blade and her eyes darted around to see the grip of a gun pointing out of a pack outside of Raven and Monty's tent.

The bushes rustled again, louder this time and Clarke quietly rushed over and pulled the gun out. Quickly checking the chamber, Clarke cocked the gun and aimed it towards the approaching sound.

Just then the bushes parted and Lexa walked through, immediately noticing the gun pointed at her and the blonde that was holding it but she didn't flinch; instead she raised an eyebrow before she continued walking.

When Clarke saw her she let out a long breath she hadn't realized she was holding and lowered the gun as Lexa moved towards the large log they had moved over for a seat, "What did I tell you last night?!" Clarke exclaimed as she clicked the safety back on the gun and put it back into the pack.

"Good morning to you too, Clarke," Lexa said unfazed.

Clarke gave her an indignant look before noticing that Lexa had six canteens in her arms that she was setting down. Seemingly knowing what Clarke was looking at she held out the blonde's canteen and met her gaze, "I figured I'd fill these up for everyone so we could make an early start."

Clarke took a long swig of the water that was still fairly cold from the freshwater stream Lexa had gathered it from, "Thank you," she said sitting down next, but not too close, to the Commander, "Did you sleep at all last night?"

Lexa actually laughed a little bit at that and Clarke instantly felt the corners of her lips move into a smile that she always got when she heard that sound. The previous night's conversations with both Lincoln and Raven came back to her then and she forcibly faded the smile. She knew they were right, but it didn't change the fact that she didn't know what to do. She was angry and she was hurt, but when the two of them were alone like this all of things seemed to evaporate with each second that passed.

"I do actually sleep, Clarke, I am human." Lexa said, a hint of her laugh still in her voice, "I woke up before the sun came up and told Bellamy and Lincoln to go back to sleep. Everything seemed fine and the stream isn't too far from here."

Clarke gave her a small smile of gratitude, then her eyes moved over to the girl's shoulder; the bandages were red from the healing wound and she knew her own probably looked similar, "We probably should redress that." the blonde said motioning to injury. She got up and walked over to medical supplies and retrieved some more of herbal cream, but found that they were completely out of bandages, so instead she found a homemade stitching kit her mother had made that consisted of strong nylon fabric and needles they had found among the remaining items onboard the Ark.

Walking back over to Lexa she swatted the Commanders hands away as she tried to undo the bandages herself which got her shocked look but Lexa didn't challenge her.

"How's your movement and pain?" Clarke said as she carefully unwrapped the bandages.

"Not too bad. I'm still able to rotate my shoulder; the pain only gets sharp if I try to extend it further." Lexa said as she watched the young doctor work, "It's actually not as bad as the last time I got bit by one of them."

Clarke abruptly paused and looked up, "You've been bitten by one of those things before?"

Lexa shrugged as much as she could in her current position, "It was when I was still Anya's second. We were checking some deer traps we had set the night before and were pulling one out when we got cornered by a few of them. It wasn't the whole pack just a few that had probably gone scouting for anything small they could bring back." Clarke continued listening as she pulled the last of the bandage away, "One of them had gotten ahold of my foot but before it could do any permanent damage I was able to swing around with my knife. That injury seemed like it would never heal and hurt much more than this does."

Lexa's eyes followed Clarke's hands as she worked, "We were able to get the deer though."

Clarke snorted and shook her head, "Of course you would make sure you got it."

Inspecting the wound it seemed to be doing much better, "It's not infected, but I'm still going to put a small amount of cream on it just to keep it that way." Lexa closed her eyes for a split second and tried to fight a shudder when Clarke's cool fingers touched her skin. "We're all out of bandages, but I'm going to try and MacGyver your shirt to cover it back up."

Clarke looked up and she instantly felt her cheeks blush when she saw the adorably and utter confused look upon the Commanders face, "It-it's a term from an old television series I watched on the Ark." Lexa nodded slowly but the confusion remained, "It pretty much means to make something out of objects you wouldn't think use that way, but I'm not that creative so I'm just going to stitch your shirt back together."

"Alright." Was all Lexa said as processed the term.

They sat in silence as Clarke took the needle and thread and tried her best to stitch up the torn fabric. It wasn't the best by any means but it would work for the time being. After she had finished with tending to Lexa's wound she propped her own leg up on the log and began to undo her own bandages.

When cool, calloused hands stopped her she looked up to see Lexa looking at her with an eyebrow arched, "Let me, I could at least return the favor." Was all she said and Clarke gave her a small glare for the reversal of roles. Lexa worked swiftly and Clarke was impressed. The Commander had watched every move Clarke had made with the needle and was stitching her pants better than the blonde hand managed.

"Are you sure you haven't done anything like that before?" Clarke asked quizzically as Lexa tied off the end of the thread.

"Not ever with this." Lexa said holding up the thin needle, "but my mother did show me how to patch up clothing."

Lexa smiled then, full and bright; the grey morning light illuminated her face and seemed to make the smile even brighter. Clarke knew she was staring; she was awestruck but at that moment the jumble of warring feelings she had for the woman in front of her seemed to part and calm into something that took Clarke's breath away and caused her heart of speed up in her chest.

Just as the moment appeared, both women heard a zipper start to come undone and looked over to see Bellamy and Lincoln emerge from their tent. Clarke was able to steal a glance at Lexa and saw that the smile was gone, but when the other girl met her with her own sideways glance the blonde immediately looked away. _Seriously, Griffin, you're not a teenager that just got caught making out by your parents! Get it together and quit being embarrassed_. She sighed and realized that she had been internally chastising herself a lot since this trip began.

Raven and Monty joined the rest of them a few minutes later and they sat and ate the berries Lexa had retrieved before tearing down camp and preparing for another long day's walk. "Did you need any help redressing your wound?" Lincoln asked Clarke as he finished gathering all of the medical supplies.

"Uh no, um Lexa helped with it." Clarke said avoiding looking at him. Lincoln nodded and gave her another knowing look before turning away, but Clarke could still see the small smile that formed on his face.

"So how much further do we have?" Bellamy asked as he tightened his pack.

"We are still about two days walk from the caverns," Lexa said, she paused for a moment and looked around, getting her bearings before pointing directly southwest, "That's assuming we go around the hills, but if we go through the valleys between them it’s a straighter route and it should cut some time."

Bellamy looked around the group to see if there were any objections, but no one spoke up, "Alright then, through the valley we go."

The walk was fairly similar to the one they had the day before. Lexa and Lincoln stayed up front and were in the midst of a conversation about things that were happening in Polis while Clarke fell into step behind the Grounders with the others.

She experienced something that morning that she hadn't felt since before the invasion, but it still seemed like every time that feeling came along it was soon joined by the anger and hurt that Clarke still felt towards the Commander. No matter how the other woman made her feel she couldn’t just forget about it, but now the question inside Clarke's mind wasn't if she should avoid or try to ignore her because she knew that was impossible; it became whether or not she should confront her or move past it another way.

The sun started climbing high in the sky as the group approached a clearing and decided to take a break from walking. Bellamy and Monty had helped Raven sit down on large rock and she began to adjust her brace; ever since the jump into the river it hadn't quite been staying how it should. Clarke had joined Lincoln and Lexa in sharpening the daggers they had with them.

Clarke was fully focused on making the edge of her blade even, when a chill ran up her spine. It wasn't cold, however, and the shudder was instantly joined by a feeling that they weren't alone. Pausing, Clarke set the rock that she had been using a sharpener down and looked around trying to see if anything was in the trees.

Lexa noticed when Clarke paused and grew wary with the troubled look on the blonde's face, "Clarke, what is it?" she asked, gaining the attention of the rest of the group.

"I don't know I just got this strange feeling like we're being watched."

Everyone went on high alert and began looking into the forest around them, "Lincoln, Lexa. Let's take a walk around the perimeter." Bellamy said and others nodded in agreement. Clarke walked over to Monty and Raven just in case something was out there.

Seconds seemed like hours after the three of them disappeared into the greenery. Clarke was on edge the entire time; she couldn't shake the feeling and it was turning more dreadful. After a few minutes the others returned and all shook their heads.

"There's nothing out there, or if there was they are long gone by now." Bellamy said holstering his handgun.

"We should probably continue moving though." Lexa said as she looked up towards the cloudy sky, "It looks like there's a storm coming, if we get further into the hills there are several caves that we can take shelter in for the night."

"Raven are you okay to walk?" Clarke asked the mechanic.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She said as she finished tightening a screw, "When we get back, though, I'm going to hit Wick over the head with this thing. Maybe his thick skull can fix it. Genius invention my ass." Clarke gave a small laugh and knew the mechanic would fulfill that statement tenfold.

A few more hours past and the sky steadily got darker; they had gotten almost all the way through the valley when they decided to stop and make camp in a cave that had formed in the side of one of the hills. They had all divided up the tasks to set everything up and Clarke was convinced that it wasn't by chance that she was paired with Lexa to hunting.

Lexa didn’t seem to be fazed by the decision and was already walking back into the forest, while Clarke seemed to be a bit reluctant but followed soon after.

"We probably should hurry, the storm will be here soon." The Commander said as Clarke caught up to her, "Down here our best luck for meat would rabbit. I hope you remember some of those hunting skills I taught you." Lexa gave Clarke a sly look and the blonde rolled her eyes and marched forward.

It had been over an hour and the two had stayed fairly silent the entire time. They had seen a few rabbits, but every time Clarke would get close the animal would get spooked and bolt out of the way.

Clarke's frustrations were kicking in, but Lexa had remained calm and silent; lurking around the trees and shrubs like a natural predator. Lexa paused and held her hand up to signal Clarke when she spotted a group of large rabbits nibbling away on some greens. The Commander looked at Clarke and motioned for her to go around to the opposite side to try and trap the group. Clarke did as told, moving farther back and around as to not allude to her presence.

When she came to the other side of their prey she looked directly at Lexa who was crouched behind a tree, dagger in hand and eyes darting around the group to find the perfect shot. Lexa's eyes swept up to meet Clarke's and she pointed to the largest rabbit of the bunch then pointed to herself then back to another one of the large furry creatures and pointed to Clarke who nodded and aimed up her shot.

She was waiting for Lexa to give the signal to strike and as she waited some memories of déjà vu came to her when they had gone on a similar hunting trip where they had both managed to get covered in mud. The distraction of the memories caused her to lose focus on her target and she unconsciously moved on foot forward, snapping a twig underneath her boot and alerting the rabbits who immediately fled into the underbrush of the forest.

Clarke let out an exaggerated sigh of defeat as she walked out from her hiding space. This was getting them nowhere, she had been foiled and outsmarted by rabbits of all things and it wasn't helping that her mind was going elsewhere.

She turned to Lexa who was sheathing her blade and walking towards her. "What happened?" the Commander asked.

"You didn't give the signal, that's what happened." Clarke snapped defensively.

"Clarke, I understand you're frustrated, but we aren't going to catch anything with clouded minds." Lexa wasn't trying to bait her and she knew but Clarke's mouth started speaking anyway.

"Clouded minds? Are you serious?" Clarke barked with mock surprise, "The only reason my mind is clouded is because of you and how pissed off I am at you!"

Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose when the words left her lips, she hadn't meant to have this conversation now; she wasn't even sure yet if she actually wanted too, but she had already started it and she couldn't control her anger anymore.

"Ah," Lexa said drawing out the word, "so, then are you actually going to talk to me about it instead of avoiding it."

Clarke rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest, "I don’t you see you going out of your way to talk about it."

"I'm not the one who needs to talk about it." Lexa said pointedly and raised an eyebrow to challenge the blonde when she got a glare.

"No, you don't need to talk about it because you don't _talk_ about things you just walk away." Clarke turned away and didn't see the flash of pain that shot across Lexa's face at the jab.

"I did what was right for my people. I-" Clarke spun around and took the few steps to between them so she was right in front of Lexa, her fists clenching at her sides.

"Stop! I get why you did it Lexa! I don't need this lecture of excuses about how it was best for your people and that you made the decision with your head and not your heart! I get it; you made those things pretty clear that night." Clarke was seething, everything she had pinned down since that night was erupting all at once and was manifesting itself in anger directed at the Commander who was standing her ground.

"You don't have to defend yourself Lexa, but you still made the decision! You still took your army and left me standing there to get my people back on my own. We had a plan! It would have worked and you knew it would." Clarke let out a jagged breath, "But you can't tell me your heart wasn’t involved somewhat in taking that deal Emerson gave you. I saw the look in your eye when I said I wasn't ready, so what was it-."

"That decision had nothing to do with what happened in my tent beforehand, Clarke." Lexa's voice was unwavering and her eyes bore holes into Clarke's as she spoke. She took a step forward, causing Clarke to step back, "Do not ever think that. I did _not_ make that decision to hurt you Clarke, how could I? Especially after what happened? Do you honestly think me to be that cruel that I would send you to your death because you told me you weren't ready?

"Clarke, I didn't even know if _I_ was ready when I kissed you! I made the decision because I knew you would survive and I knew you could save your people."

"At what cost? Do you even know what happened that night?" Clarke's voice was tight, but she still heard it break.

"Of course I do," Lexa said her voice was less angry, almost comforting but still strong and solid, "and I also know by the look in your eyes that a part of you blames me."

"They were children. Innocent men and women that had nothing to do with the atrocities their leadership was doing." Clarke had lowered her eyes and her voice was barely above a whisper, but it rose as she continued, "I killed in cold blood. Everything else had a reason, was a part of self-defense or some other bullshit justification, but this could have been avoided. Hundreds of people died so I could save _my_ people. Were their lives not worth as much?"

Lexa's eyes had softened when Clarke finally met her gaze, "It's the laws of survival, Clarke. It's not a matter of what a life is worth; it's a matter of what will happen in the long run. If you would have let them live either they would have still come after you and killed your people to save themselves or they would have died on their own down in that bunker. I know how hard that decision is, Clarke, I've sent hundreds of warriors to their death because of decisions I had to make.

"I know you try to do what's right, you have a kind heart; a _strong_ heart that transcends more than anything I could ever imagine, but at the end of the day it's not about right or wrong or good or bad because in this world none of those things exist. We don't have the luxury of those things and we do what we do to survive. You may think that makes us barbarians, ruthless killers but I don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy telling my warriors to go die for me or taking the lives of others but I know that every other leader is looking for that same survival and would kill me and my people if I don't act first."

Clarke looked down, Lexa was right and she knew it. It's a game of survival of the fittest and there wasn't much she could do to change that.

"I don't regret taking the deal," Lexa continued, "I can't regret saving the lives of my people. But, Clarke," now it was Lexa's turn to cast her gaze to the ground, "the one thing I do regret is the look on your face when you realized what I'd done. I haven't been able to get that betrayed look out of my head. I know it's not my place to ask for your forgiveness because I know I've hurt you and angered you."

Lexa looked up and Clarke felt as if the breath was taken right out of her at the enormous amount of sincerity and caring that was filling usually passive and unemotional Commander, "I do hope with time, however that those wounds may heal."

Clarke didn't say anything, she didn't know what to and her mouth seemed to be sown shut by the levity of Lexa's words. The Commander searched Clarke's eyes and must have assumed her hesitation because the she immediately cleared her throat and replaced the walls that had been broken down during the conversation.

"We probably should find some berries or something. The storm is about to roll in and all of the game is probably hiding in their shelters by now." Lexa said in her best, yet clearly fake Commander's tone and turned her back on the blonde to walk away.

The familiar image of Lexa walking away seemed to jolt Clarke back to reality. Without thinking Clarke took a step forward and reached out to grab the other woman's elbow. With one fluid move Clarke pulled and turned the Commander around.

Lexa didn't have a chance to register what was happening because as soon as her face had turned towards the blonde she felt fingers cup her jaw and the soft yet firm press of lips against her own.

Clarke all but melted into the kiss when she felt Lexa kiss her back and move to deepen it. Lexa threaded her fingers through wavy blonde hair and pulled Clarke flush against her as the darkened, clouds opened up and poured down rain while lightning and thunder lit up the sky.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heda's back!!!! So, with the news and events of Comic Con that flooded my twitter feed I felt it necessary to fangirl a little about the amazing news! My search for full panel online is still going on, but through the enormous amount of panel videos I have spent the past two days watching I managed to finish this chapter! I hope you enjoy it and as always kudos and comments are so very welcomed and greatly appreciated!

The kiss was everything Clarke had remembered and so much more. She wanted to stay there forever; feeling Lexa pressed against her with her fingers threaded in Clarke's hair and Clarke's hand gripping the back of Lexa's neck, the other wrapped around the Commander's waist. They were completely drenched by the down pour and the salty rain was mixing in with their unbroken kiss, but neither of them was planning on letting go anytime soon.

It was only broken with the sound of a crack of lightning splitting a tree next to them. The sound's impact jolted their mouths apart but their bodies were left pressed against the other. Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke's and closed her eyes for a moment to try and save the feeling of complete euphoria that she was in.

"We probably should find some shelter," Lexa finally said, her voice breathless and barely audible over the thunder. All Clarke could do was nod she didn't quite trust her words at that moment, or her legs for that matter. The two headed for the nearest cave they could find; they were on the opposite side of the valley from the others, but they soon found a cave entrance that was high enough above ground level that they wouldn't get flooded.

"This will have to do for now," Lexa said leading them into the dark entrance; her voice had recovered somewhat but still held a breathy lilt, "We'll have to wait until the storm lightens up to get back to the others."

Clarke bit her tongue before her unfiltered words were about to say that she didn't mind not going back to them just yet. "Do you think those trees are dry enough to set a fire started?" Clarke said instead trying to regain some sort of composure, as she motioned to a few small trees that were growing underneath a rocky outcropping not too far from the cave's opening. Lexa walked to the edge of the entrance and carefully stepped onto the few rocks that led down to the trees that were growing out the side of the hill.

It was a tight fit and they were high enough off the ground that falling would more than likely injure her further. Holding herself against the wall Lexa sidestepped the distance to the trees and began to break off some of the branches.

Lexa made the task look incredibly easy, but Clarke was far from paying attention. She had reached up and placed two fingers against her lips, her eyes were closed and she was all but lost to the world. Her mouth was kiss swollen and she could still feel the ghost of Lexa's lips pressed against her own.

But through the endorphin induced feeling she knew that there were still things that needed to be talked about, that one conversation wasn't going to solve all of the problems and the hurt that that night had caused, but she finally made a decision and she did not regret it for a moment.

Clarke opened her eyes when she felt hands place themselves on her arms. She looked straight into Lexa's eyes, the dimming light caused the rainy mist on her face to glisten and for a second Clarke thought she was in a dream.

"You're shivering, Clarke." Lexa said as she moved her hands up and down the blonde's arms to create some sort of friction, "I've gotten plenty of branches to start a fire. It should last us the night."

Clarke opened her mouth to respond but closed it before she could speak; she truly was speechless, the kiss had felt so right but she felt herself go into the unintentional awkwardness of something new. When Clarke closed her mouth a single droplet of water fell from the tip of her nose to rest on her bottom lip. Lexa's eyes followed the offending liquid and without thinking brushed her thumb across Clarke's bottom lip to wipe it away.

Clarke's breath hitched just slightly with the contact her face immediately heating and the giddy awkwardness grew; Lexa froze, realizing what she was doing. The Commander's thumb seemed to fall from Clarke's lip excruciatingly slowly, but when it finally dropped Clarke saw a rare flash of shy embarrassment cross her features as Lexa looked anywhere but at her.

"I should get that fire started." Lexa said abruptly turning away to the small pile of broken branches. She began to set them up to form a small pyre, eventually asking Clarke if she could find some rocks to surround it with and some other dried foliage along the cave floor to help it burn.

The storm was raging outside with lighting and thunder filling the sky in a crescendo of repeated succession. The wind was blowing wet, cool air across the entrance, but luckily the rain was angled away from them.

Clarke took her soaking jacket off and laid it next to her on the cave floor in hope the flames of the fire Lexa was starting would help it dry. Lexa had gone to quickly scraping the edge of her favorite gem encrusted blade along the side of long, blunt rock. Clarke had never been able to start a fire that way, but with each swipe of metal on stone a spark gleamed in the darkness and after a few tries it caught the dried weeds that had been found scattered about the cave's floor.

"How in the world can you get it start like that?" Clarke asked the woman sitting next to her as she gave oxygen to the small flame.

"It’s the metal of the blade," Lexa said running her fingertip along the edge, "It was forged with a combination of iron and steel. It was made to be a survival tool of all sorts."

Clarke watched as Lexa ran her fingers absently over the metal, "It means a lot to you?"

Lexa looked up at Clarke her gaze soft and somber, "It was a gift, from Costia. She gave it to me when I was chosen to lead my people."

Clarke nodded, Lexa very rarely spoke of Costia in fact the only time she had said anything about her besides her name had been the day of Finn's burial. Clarke didn't want to push, especially with what had just transpired between them, but she was genuinely curious. Costia's death had played such an integral part of Lexa becoming who she is now that a part of Clarke wanted to know who she was.

Lexa seemed to sense Clarke's curiosity, she did every time Costia's name passed between them, but for some reason this time felt different she didn't want to hide her life and her past from Clarke anymore; she felt like she didn't have too.

"Her father was one of the best blacksmith's in the entire Clan and he had taught her how to use a forge from a very young age; her mother was a healer, quite like yours, always finding new ways to do things with the resources we had. Costia seemed to get the best parts of both of them." Clarke adjusted her legs, laying her injured one out as Lexa continued to open up.

"She lived in a neighboring village from me, the same village Lincoln, Anya, and Indra were from and I had seen her plenty of times on errand my parents had sent me on, but we only ever talked when I stopped at the blacksmith's tent." Lexa paused then and looked into the fire.

"What were they like? Your parents?" Clarke asked curiously but cautiously, this was another subject that had never been broached between them. Lexa didn't reply for a few moments and Clarke immediately thought that she had gone too far, "We don't have to talk about this if you don’t want too."

Lexa looked up at her and motioned for the blonde to scoot closer to her and the fire, which Clarke did without hesitation, "It's fine, really, it's simply just a story I haven't told in a very long time."

Clarke settled herself next to Lexa so they were pressed to one another, hip to knee. The fire was warming them up and Clarke sat back to listen.

"My father was the leader of our village and a General for the Commander before me. He was a tall, brute of a man but incredibly smart and fantastic at strategy but he was also very kind and lighthearted at times, especially when I was young. My mother was," Lexa paused and a small smile formed, "she was as strong as she was beautiful. Her family was known across all of Clans as some of the best warriors and she was no exception. She was also a teacher; she had started a class of sorts for children in our village to learn basic skills of survival, fighting, hunting, and respect among other things.

"However, it is tradition among my people that leaders cannot take on their children as their seconds and so when I became of age I started training with Anya, she was a grown up with my mother and was a great friend to my family. I remember waking up before it was even light out to do all of the things my parents expected me to do so that I could start my day of training as early as possible. That's when I officially met Costia, she was another second in their village and we trained together quite a lot and became friends very quickly. As time passed, well, our friendship started becoming more and apparently it was obvious to everyone else except for us. It was just how we were, we didn't think of it as really anything, but eventually we became partners."

Lexa looked over to Clarke who nodded for her to continue.

"Our relationship was never a secret and our families were both very supportive of it. During training I always tried to be the best at everything we were tasked with doing, usually to my own fault but she always seemed to ground me. She was a kind soul, incredibly passionate about everything she did, but also very adventurous. I can't remember how many times she had dragged me out early in the morning on days we didn't have training so we could go search for things from the old world."

"You loved her." Clarke stated, not as a question and not with anger or jealousy but with knowing and hope to know exactly how I felt to be loved by someone like Lexa.

"Yes, I did," Lexa replied, "A year passed since I began my training. The War of the 12 Clans was still going on, but had gotten less heated and it seemed as though things might be headed to peace, when my parents got a message to go to Polis. I ended up staying with Anya when they left so it would be easier for me to continue my training.

"However, about a week later a rider came bursting into the village during one of our group trainings. They had a message for Anya. All of us were wondering what was going on because everything seemed so urgent about the rider. When Anya came back, she pulled me to the side and told me that my parents had been killed. There was been an attack in Polis; a war meeting was happening in one of the great halls of the city when it was set on fire. My mother and father had been inside, but managed to get everyone else out of the hall," Lexa paused and her jaw tightened as the memory clearly came back.

"They were the only casualties." She said after a few moments. Silence crept over the cave; Clarke knew what it was like to have a parent die, but not both. She had almost lost her mother and despite their rocky relationship she couldn't imagine losing her.

Clarke placed a hand on Lexa's knee after a few moments the Commander threaded their fingers together and continued speaking, "I mourned their death, but I also knew that they would want me to become the best I could be. My father was the one who taught me the saying ' _Stedaunon don gon we en kikon ste enti_ (the dead are gone and the living are hungry'. He lived by that, we all do. So, I continued training and Costia was there was help me through times when I had let my emotions get the better of me. She helped me realize that all was not lost.

"After the attack in Polis, the war escalated to new heights and a winter after my parents' death the Commander was killed in battle. When her soul chose me, I was immediately taken from my training and sent to Polis to lead. Costia came with me, but we weren't able to see much of each other, she had found work forging weapons for the army and I was far too busy with war planning.

"I didn't even realize she was gone when they told me she had been kidnapped. She had been out in the forest looking for different metals from old world relics that were scattered around. We knew the Ice Nation was responsible from the beginning, but there wasn't anything that could be done. I had sent men to track her, see where they were holding her but they came back and said she was being held in their Queen's stronghold. It would have suicide for anyone to go in there.

"Three months later I got a message from Anya telling me to come back the village. The Queen of the Ice Nation had sent a horse to the village with Costia's body across its back and her head tied by a rope that hung from the horse's neck. By the time I arrived they had already wrapped her body and set her atop the pyre for the ceremony." Lexa looked down and gripped the hilt of the blade with her free hand. "Shortly after her death, her parents left their village to become nomads. They took everything of hers; this is the only thing I have left."

"I'm so sorry, Lexa." Clarke said squeezing their entwined hands.

For the next while the only sound was the patter of rain and the occasional beat of thunder. The silence that fell between the women wasn't awkward but rather comfortable as they sat in front of their fire with fingers laced together; after a while Clarke had laid her head on Lexa's uninjured shoulder.

"You were right," Lexa said softly.

"About what?"

"That I'm a liar for hiding my feelings." Clarke lifted her head to look at Lexa who turned towards her. "I shut down after Costia's death. I thought everything would be better that I would be a better leader if I didn't show my feelings towards things. My people aren't very emotional to begin with, but I became-I became extreme in it. I forcibly hid everything, especially when I people would lose their lives when I sent them into battle. I thought _that_ was the best way to go about leading, and it worked for a while. I was able to create the Coalition because I factored out everything but the logical strategy. But I realize now that that isn't the only way to do things."

"What changed your mind?" Clarke asked looking down as Lexa started running her thumb along the back of Clarke's hand.

"You."

Clarke looked up to see Lexa smiling, "You and all of your emotionally-driven stubborn determination." Clarke snorted and mock glared at the woman in front of her. "I don't have to be haunted. I realize that now."

Clarke matched Lexa's smile and the Commander brought her hand up to brush a stray curl of blonde hair behind Clarke's ear. She wasn’t sure if it was Lexa or herself that started moving in first, but soon they were in a soft, nearly chaste kiss. It wasn't a spontaneous bout of passion like their kiss form earlier, but it reminded Clarke so much of the first kiss they shared.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Kissing with their hands laced together between them and the warmth of the fire glowing around them.

Eventually the need for air became a necessity and the two sat together with much lighter conversation until falling asleep next to one another.

Clarke woke up the next morning to the dim, grey light of dawn. Lexa was standing at the edge of the cave looking over the valley.

"I suppose it's time we go back to the others." Clarke said testing her leg as she slowly stood up and shrugged on her dry jacket.

Lexa turned around and smiled at her, "Probably, we still have about a day until we reach the caverns."

"Do you really think our people still alive?" Clarke said in all seriousness as she joined Lexa.

"I hope so, but honestly I'm not sure. The Shadows aren't known to leave too many survivors."

"We have to try." Clarke said.

A few minutes later the two of them were walking back down into the wet valley. The storm had caused some damage, some trees were down and branches strewn every which way, but eventually Clarke and Lexa made it to the mouth of the cave that held the rest of the group.

"What, so just a little storm happens and you don't even bring back any food?" Bellamy teased and Clarke punched him in the arm as she walked over and threw her pack over her shoulder.

The rest of the group was already completely packed up and they were all soon back on their trail.

It was fairly obvious to the rest of the group that something had changed between the two leaders, but no one said anything, simply gave looks at the others with some small grins. They were close to their destination and even though the tension between Clarke and Lexa had settled soon a new one filled with anxiety and settled over them.

They had no idea what to expect when they arrived or what they would find along the way.

A few hours in they were still making good time when a thud caught Clarke's attention. She immediately turned around, but when she did a small prick of pain shot through her neck.

Pausing where she stood, Clarke pulled what looked to be a small dart out of her neck. Confused, she looked around but immediately felt lightheaded and saw the world go dark around her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the slight lateness and shortness of this chapter. I am battling an incredibly annoying summer cold so I spent majority of yesterday sleeping, but I wanted to get a chapter out to you wonderful people!

Clarke's world slowly began to reappear as her consciousness faded in and out.

Her head was throbbing, her vision was spattered with opaque clouds, and her body felt incredibly heavy. She remembered being shot with the dart. _A tranquilizer_ , she thought. When her vision finally cleared up enough for her see, her blue eyes registered the grass and mud covered ground of the forest and the occasional grouping of flowers that dotted the ground as she-

_Wait, I'm moving_.

Looking around, Clarke realized she was being carried by a massive man who could easily be three times her size; she had been thrown over his shoulder and felt the stiff muscles and bone digging into her gut with each step. When she looked to her left, however, her adrenaline spiked. Monty was still unconscious lying on the opposite shoulder of this person.

_What is going on?_ Clarke could feel her own heart quicken as she started coming fully out of the tranquilizer's effects. A sinking feeling settled in Clarke's stomach, and her mind started racing with possibilities, but she quickly calmed herself just enough so she could figure this out. She didn't think this person was a Grounder; they had been right in the heart of the enemy territory and not far from the caverns when they had been attacked, which only meant one thing.

Clarke's fight or flight response seemed to kick in the moment it clicked in her mind. They had been taken by the Jus Trikova.

Without thinking Clarke started fighting, she hadn't completely regained full function of all of her limbs but it didn't matter. She jabbed her knee into the man's chest, which when she connected felt like connecting with pure, solid rock. She didn't get a single response from the attack so she tried again and again and again using both knees, elbowing him in the head and nothing seemed to have any effect.

Finally, after a few moments of useless flailing, Clarke was able to get enough strength back to propel her knee up high enough to hit him right in the face. This caused the first reaction she had gotten and the man dropped her flat on her back with a grunt.

Clarke's eyes grew wide with terror when she saw the man that had been holding her.

The first thing that immediately caught her attention about him was his sheer size. She was right in that he was easily three times her own with arms and legs like tree trunks, a chest that resembled boulders and protruding muscles that covered the rest of him. His head was bald and his face was malformed with a slightly askew nose and round masses bulging out from the left side of his face; you could barely see his eyes under his large, over extended brow.

He was terrifying, in fact he reminded her of something she had seen in old world science fiction movies.

Clarke scuffled backwards, still on the ground, with her hands and feet. Looking towards her right and then towards her left there were two others like the man before her, one with a sunken in face that looked more like a skull with skin and the other had the face of a Neanderthal with hair covering the majority of his features but both were equally as massive.

Across the other men's shoulders were the other unconscious members of her group. They were all holding them ease and the other two wore simply blank expressions.

However, the man whom she had kneed in the face held her with an unwavering glower. He took a step forward and snarled Clarke moved backwards again, but she could only move so far before her back was forced to stop.

Clarke gulped as she felt the bone of pair of legs stop her from going anywhere else. Jumping to her feet Clarke whirled around to look at the person blocking her. The person standing behind her, however, was not like the other three this person was a woman only slightly taller than herself, her long chestnut colored hair was shaved on one side which gave a perfect view to the burn scars than ran up her neck to just under her ear, across to her jaw then up to her cheekbone like vines scaling a wall. Her eyes were the parts of her that startled the young leader the most for they were as dark and dead as a black hole.

Clarke knew she looked petrified; there was no point in trying to act tough and fight her way out of it because she was outnumbered and out massed. She also knew she wouldn't make it very far on her injured leg to run, but still she took a step back. The woman in front of her gave a crooked smile and cocked her head, noticing the fear painted all over the blonde.

The light in the forest caught on something and Clarke instinctually looked down to see the semi-automatic assault rifle situated in the woman's hands. Clarke looked back up into the soulless eyes and saw the smile grow but never meet them; an instant later she felt the butt of the rifle strike her temple.

\-----------------------------

"Clarke," she heard a muffled voice call, "Clarke, wake up!"

Clarke stirred as the voice continued to call out to her until she finally opened her eyes. When she did, she saw nothing but blackness.

"Clarke! You finally awake?" this was a different voice, a man's voice, someone familiar like the first.

"Bellamy?" she said as she tried to look around, her eyes slowly adjusting to the dark.

Clarke tried to wipe at her eyes, but her wrists failed to fully move forward. That's when her attention came to into the focus. She felt the cool, thick metal cuffs tight against her wrists, as well as the pain that radiated when she struggled to free them.

"Calm down, Clarke." The first familiar voice spoke up again. Lexa's voice, cool, calm, and collected as usual, "You'll only hurt yourself more."

"What's going on? Where are we?" her vision was coming back to her, there was dim glow in the room now, that Clarke figured out was from light sneaking its way in through slits in the door like window.

"We don't know. We all woke up a little while ago, but you were still completely out." Bellamy spoke up; his voice was further away than Lexa's was and when she was fully dilated to the light she could see that they were all spaced out along three walls of a room. Counting the figures, however, Clarke felt a flare of hope when she counted two extra bodies.

"Octavia? Jasper? Monroe?" she said quickly

"Nice of you to finally join us, Princess." Octavia's voice rang out and although she sounded weak the usual snarky attitude was still there and Clarke felt a tiny bit of relief, "Jasper and I are here."

"I really hope you have a plan to get out of here," Jasper said dryly.

"What about Monroe?" the blonde said noticing the absence. There was a bit of a pause before Octavia spoke up again, "We don't know she was taken from here a few days ago by those _things_ that attacked us."

With the mention of them, the memory of those massive men and the woman who joined them came back to her. Clarke told the rest of them what had happened and tried her best to describe the beings that she had seen which matched perfectly to what the others had encountered.

Octavia had filled the rest of the group in about what they knew about where they were. Jasper and her hadn't seen much of their surroundings outside this room, only a narrow stone hallway to be exact. She said that she assumed that they were in another bunker that had survived the nuclear war. When they had arrived at this place they had woken up shackled at the ankles, they were given a few meals (that were worse than anything she'd ever eaten) and the only people she had seen were the same man that had carried Clarke and Monty and the woman with the burn scars as well as another young woman with jet black hair who had occasionally brought them their meals and actually checked on the injuries they had. They had even heard disembodied voices occasionally through the door and the only word they had ever been able to make out was 'session'.

"Did they hurt you?" Lincoln asked, he was sitting on the opposite wall from Clarke but she could still see the emotion on his face.

"No, surprisingly they haven't." Octavia answered somewhat quelling Lincoln's worry.

"What exactly happened to Monroe?" Bellamy asked his sister.

There was a long pregnant and somber pause before Octavia spoke up, "Time has been a bit of blur down here, but I'm assuming it was about two days ago. Usually it was only person who came in here, but this time it was both the woman with the burns and that massive man-thing. The woman looked around at all of us before pointing at Monroe. The guy, he went over and tried to hold her down but Monroe fought him as much as she could. She kept squirming out of his grip and-I don't know- it was almost like he looked back to get permission from the woman before he punched Monroe square in the stomach."

Clarke cringed a little bit at just the thought of being hit by that monster.

"It completely knocked the wind out of her and the woman came over and injected her with something in the neck that made her go completely limp and motionless," Octavia continued. "They unchained her and took her away."

Clarke chilled at the thought. Something was going on here; the sinking feeling she had gotten earlier hadn't disappeared but only grew more and more as Octavia spoke. She had thought that what the people in Mount Weather were doing was horrific and wrong, but something was telling her that whatever was happening here was far worse than anything they had expected.

"I'm assuming it was a few hours ago, but the girl with the black hair had come in here, but stayed at the door," Octavia continued, "I saw the glint of what looked like a gun but I wasn't sure there was painful prick in my neck and the next thing I know I'm waking up and all of you are here and I'm shackled at the wrists."

The group grew silent for a while, processing what was going on. The silence was eventually broken with small conversations among them. Lincoln was placed on the end opposite Clarke and his gaze never wavered from Octavia, Clarke couldn't help but admire the love between the two. Jasper, who was next to him, was completely silent while the Blake siblings talked strategy for an escape. Monty was attempting to help Raven somehow get free from her shackles from, but they were all situated around the room just far enough from the others that their legs could just barely touch.

Clarke looked to her left to see Lexa sitting there calmly with her legs tucked under her to give her a little bit more height and thus slack with the tight chains that held her wrists. Even in the dim light Clarke could see the tinge of green in the Commander's eyes.

"What are you thinking?' the blonde asked, her voice low enough so that it could only be heard by Lexa.

Lexa looked over at her with a serious yet impassive expression, "The only way we are going to even have a chance at getting out of here is if we get taken out of this room. We can't break these chains on our own so it would have to be if one or more of us are taken like your friend," Lexa let out a long breath before continuing, "but even then we have no idea what's on the other side or how many of the Shadows there are here. Or even what else is here. The only thing I am certain about is that they aren't running whatever's going on."

The strategist within Lexa had already run through the odds and placed every bit of information they knew into place. She had already spotted the cameras that were hidden in the corners, built into the wall itself and she suspected that these chains were also buried within the stone. _What kinds of things were kept in here?_

"What about your men that were headed towards to the caverns?" Clarke asked.

"I gave them orders to retreat if we did not show within a day's time of the meeting. I didn't want any other lives to be taken if I failed to even reach the rendezvous."

Clarke nodded, she understood that. She would've done the same for her own people, but she knew her mother and the others at Camp Jaha would probably try to send someone looking for them if they didn't return soon.

Just then the sound of footsteps approaching the door fixated everyone's attention and silenced all conversation. They heard the tumblers of a lock being undone and the creak of the door as it opened. The room flooded with light and Clarke squinted her eyes against it.

Her eyes adjusted far more quickly to the brightness then it had to the dark and when she opened them fully she watched as the grotesque looking 'man-thing' as Octavia had dubbed him as well as the man with the sunken face entered the room followed by the same woman whose bleak eyes locked onto Clarke's as she walked in; absent of her rifle the woman held her hands behind her back like a soldier.

They were joined, however, by a man dressed in black business slacks and a light blue, button up dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up his forearms. He looked to be possibly in his late thirties but he held himself with a youthful confidence. He was of average height and dwarfed by the two men who accompanied him on either side and though he was slim in form his shirt gave way to muscular arms and chest.

"Ah! You're all finally awake!" he said with a clap of his hands.

Clarke watched as a broad smile etched itself across his slightly pale and angular face. The smile, however, caught Clarke off guard because it was full of excitement. She followed as his light brown, nearly topaz colored, eyes flicked around the room, settling on each person like he was analyzing them. She grew increasingly self-conscious when he looked over at her and then immediately flicked to Lexa and back again.

His smile faded instantly and formed a decisive frown as he shot is now stony gaze to the woman beside him. "I thought you said none of them were injured, Myra."

The woman stiffened at his accusatory tone, "We did not see any injuries when we captured them." it was the first time she had heard the woman speak and her voice had a slight unknown accent to it.

"These two are both injured. And what about the wound to her head?" the man said taking a step towards the woman.

"As I told you before, sir, she had woken up before we arrived we did not have any darts left." Myra cast her eyes downward.

The man ran a hand through his short, neatly trimmed sandy colored hair and gave a frustrated sigh, "I will not have them at less than their full potential. We'll have to take care of it. Go get the staff ready."

Myra nodded sharply before turning on her heel and exiting the room.

"Who are you? And where are we?" Bellamy questioned. The man instantly turned his attention back to them.

"Oh my apologies, where are my manners." He began the smile returning to his face, "My name is Dr. Benjamin Wells and welcome to the Greenbrier."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I am feeling much better after a few days and got done with this chapter a day early and decided to not keep you waiting!

"What the hell is a Greenbrier?" Raven said wryly

Dr. Wells took a few steps forward, "Well, my dear Ms. Reyes, the Greenbrier was a luxury hotel before the war. It was built atop a bunker that was created during what was called the Cold War which was a nuclear arms race of sorts between the governments of the United States and the then Soviet Union, or Russia as you would know it, which happened over 150 years ago." He spread his hands out as if to put the room on display, his gaze never wavering from Raven, "The first few levels of this bunker were opened to the public at the end of the war, but it ranged further down then the rest of the world knew. The lower sublevels were used as laboratories throughout the years and came into full use during the Nuclear Revolution that caused the world we now live in."

"That still doesn't explain who you are." Raven spoke up.

"You will come to learn who I am in time, but for now there are things that need to be attended too." He said as he approached her. The doctor crouched down in front of the mechanic eyeing her with a sort of scientific curiosity. Everyone watched as he cocked his head and focused on the brace that surrounded her leg. "Hmph, curious, it seems the engineers from the Ark are far more deft than I anticipated considering their lack of supplies. This is quite resourceful, is it of your own design?"

He reached forward to run a finger over the metal brace but Raven pulled her leg back as much as she could and glared at the man in front of her, "Don't touch me you creep." She spat.

He let out a small chuckle and stood back up, "What exactly is the full extent of your injury? How much movement and control do you have over your legs?" he looked away and tapped his chin with is finger before looking back down at her, "I can fix it you know. I can give you your leg back."

"How do you know about her injury? Or the Ark? And her name for that matter?" Clarke interrupted her voice stern in tone.

That damn smile came back to his face when he turned his head to Clarke, but his eyes gave way to a more menacing look, "I know far more than you might think, Clarke Griffin of the Skaikru; daughter of Chancellor Abby Griffin, young leader along with Bellamy Blake of the first group of adolescents from the Ark to come to Earth. You, Clarke, might just rival the Commander here with your abilities it's quite impressive what you've done since you arrived. Being sworn enemies with the Woods Clan until you finally managed to make an Alliance to defeat the Mountain."

Clarke was taken aback, _how does he know all this? I've never seen him a day in my life_.

"What did you do with Monroe?" Bellamy all but yelled.

Dr. Wells raised an eyebrow, "So many questions, you Sky People are such an inquisitive bunch aren't you?"

"Where is she?" Bellamy snapped.

"Your friend is contributing an immense amount of knowledge Mr. Blake." He said as he stepped up to Bellamy who pulled forward and was stopped short by the chains. "Although I have to say I was planning on having her go through a few sessions, but now that I have you lot her fate has yet to be determined."

"If you hurt her-"

"You'll do what, exactly?" The doctor interrupted, "You don't seem to be in a very great position to be making threats." Bellamy let out a long, angry breath but didn't respond, his glare could cut like steel but the doctor was unfazed.

Benjamin turned back to survey the group and focused on Monty this time whose eyes hadn't left the monsters that entered the room. He hadn't gotten a good look at them the first time he saw them but now that they were standing only feet away the fear and strong urge to flee to somewhere safe were hitting him full force.

Benjamin Wells seemed to notice this and followed Monty's gaze, "They're magnificent aren't they?" he said as he walked over to one who had carried Monty to this place. "The experiments were initially thought to be failures, but I soon realized the potential that was lying before us." He patted the man on the shoulder before walking back forward.

"They're more beasts then men really; very obedient but their cerebral functions are limited," he continued, "But then again they weren't the most prime subjects to begin with."

_Subjects?_ Clarke thought, _the other Grounders that have been taken, has he-_

Before she could finish her thought Myra walked back through the door, "Sorry to interrupt sir, but the staff is ready for you now."

Myra was absent of her jacket she was wearing before and was in a simple black tank top, Clarke took notice of the blue and black colored tattoos that wound themselves all the way down her right arm as well as the inky bands of the same color that wrapped around her left bicep. A small gasp came from across the room and Clarke looked over just as Lincoln whispered, "Azgeda."

Clarke immediately recognized the word, but Lexa spoke before she had a chance to fully process what it meant.

"You're a member of the Ice Nation?" her voice held the same shock that everyone else felt with the statement.

"Myra has not been that for a very long time. Isn't that right?" Dr. Wells stated before looking at the woman in question.

"I do not belong to any Clan." Was her simple answer.

Something seemed to click to Lexa and it was evident on her face, "Wait," she said quietly as the gears visibly worked in her mind, "Myra, that name," her eyes traveled down and over to Lincoln who was in thought as well before her eyes shot back up towards the woman, "You can't be. It was said you were killed in a fire when you were young." She trailed off.

Lincoln continued where the Commander stopped, "You're Myra older sister to Sura, Queen of the Ice Nation."

The woman did not respond but held Lexa's shocked green gaze with her own emotionless black one.

"Myra, darling, will you go get some sedatives prepared for our guests? We wouldn't want them hurting themselves even more when we tend to their injuries." Dr. Wells stated and Myra immediately left the room again with a sharp pivot of her heel. When he turned back he focused his attention directly on the still perplexed Commander, "She's been here for nearly fifteen years. Fantastic soldier, extremely resilient and stubborn at first but eventually she took the sessions like a natural; among other things," he chuckled, "She can also command these brutes better than I've ever seen. But nonetheless, pay no mind to her," he said as he took a few slow steps towards Lexa whose gaze moved from the door to him. "You, however, I have to say it is truly an honor to finally meet you Commander."

He crouched down in front of her, but much closer then what he had done with Raven. "I'm a huge fan of yours; I've been following your career since even before you were selected. You, by far, are one of the most brilliant specimens any Clan has ever created."

Clarke felt her own anger rising alongside a disgusted nauseous sensation as he reached with one of his hands to move a wipe away a smudge of dirt that lingered on Lexa's cheekbone. Everyone's eyes were glued on what was happening.

Lexa got the powerful urge to scrub her skin raw and out of the corner of her eye she saw the tension and anger within Clarke. Locking her fiery gaze upon their captor Lexa thrusted her head forward and it collided with the man's forehead with a sickening crack that sent him reeling off of his heels and landing on the dusty stone floor.

"Don't touch me." Lexa growled, the impact of the head butt had caused a small cut on her hairline and a several trickles of blood started to trail down her forehead to run down her nose, cheekbone, and over her left eye.

When the other's looked back at doctor, who had far wider gash where he was hit that was pouring blood down his face, Clarke felt a bolt of fear shoot through her. The curious smile was gone from his face and it was replaced by an expression that outmatched Lexa's in fury. Within moments he was on his feet and picking Lexa up by her throat.

There was a loud thud as he crashed Lexa's back into the wall; the chains holding her wrists were stretched to their limit and pulled her shoulders downward, resisting the height that he held her at. Lexa felt the searing pain electrify her injured shoulder but she gritted her teeth through it.

He was pressed completely against her preventing her legs to be used as weapons; Lexa could feel his hot, angry breath against her face. His other hand was clenched at his side, balled into a fist so tight that his knuckles were white. He took a few seething breaths and tightened his grip on her throat causing her to gasp for air.

"Let her go!" Clarke yelled as she tried to lift herself to a standing position but only managed to get to her knees before the man with the bulging masses moved towards her with surprising speed and gripped her shoulders with his large hands forcing her to stay down.

At the same time Clarke had moved, Lincoln had lunged forward his instinctual nature to protect his Commander coming back full force. He had been able to get to a barely standing positon before the other man with the sunken face slammed him in the chest with his massive palm and dropped the Grounder to his knees which caused Octavia to yell out to him and struggle herself.

Everyone else in the room was too shocked at the quickness of what happened to move and a tension soaked silence filled the room for a moment. Lexa was starting to turn a light shade of purple by the time the doctor took a couple deep calming breaths and released his hold on her letting her drop to the floor in a gasping heap.

"My apologies," he said as he cleared his throat and smoothed his shirt, "I lost my temper for a moment. I should be more respectful to a woman of your caliber and reputation."

He waved his hand and the two hulking men backed away from Clarke and Lincoln and returned to their positions by the door.

"Lexa," Clarke said moving as close as she could to the other woman who was still on her hands and knees, struggling to breathe properly, "Are you alright?"

Lexa looked over and into those bright blue eyes that she adored so much, for some reason just knowing Clarke was there eased her anger and the pain that radiated from her shoulder and neck. She nodded towards the blonde with a reassuring look before turning her focus back to the madman in front of her. His strength was surprising as was his extremely short temper.

When she looked up, however, the rage that she had just been on the biting end of was completely gone and replaced with that enquiring and amused smile as his eyes darted between Clarke and Lexa. "Well, now, that's interesting."

Myra came back into the room at that moment holding two syringes, when she saw the state of Dr. Wells she looked down towards Lexa then back up and simply raised an eyebrow and shook her head. Without saying a word she motioned towards the man with the protruding lumps who walked forward and grabbed both of Lexa's arms. The Commander had regained some of her color and attempted to fight, but the man's large hands wrapped completely around her biceps and he pressed one of his knees into the middle of her back forcing her on her stomach and effectively immobilizing any resistance.

Knowing that fighting was going to get her absolutely nowhere, Lexa turned her head and locked eyes with the only person who could remotely calm her down at that moment. Myra walked over and slid the needle into Lexa's neck. Within moments Lexa's eyes started to become increasingly heavy and though she fought it as much as she could the vision of Clarke's face slowly started to fade until it was nothing.

Clarke forced herself to look away as Lexa's body became motionless on the floor and the man released his hold on the brunette only to go over and place her in the same position. The young leader, however, wasn't as injured as the Commander and was able to fight back with more force. "There's no use in fighting, Clarke." Wells said, "All we are going to do is treat your wounds. It will be over before you know it."

His voice was far too chipper and Clarke couldn't wait until she got the opportunity to punch the smile he wore right off of his face.

Myra bent down next to her and pushed her head so she was facing her friends. They all had a collection of expressions that ranged from horror stricken to silent fury. The rest of them knew they couldn’t do anything to help except hope that Clarke and Lexa would actually return.

Soon after the prick in her neck Clarke started fading, _I'm really starting to hate these sedatives_.

When Clarke awoke next she felt the plush of a mattress behind her back and for a moment before anything else came back she had the sensation of being back on the Ark in her bed. When she tried to move, however, her wrists did not meet the chafing metal of cuffs but instead they were met by the resistance of thick leather straps.

Clarke snapped her eyes open and tried again to lift more of her body off of the hospital bed but along with her wrists, her neck, torso, knees and ankles were all confined underneath tightly pulled brown leather restraints.

She was sitting up slightly so she was able to look around the small room. The fluorescent lights above her started irritating her eyes so she squinted as she scanned the room. The walls were the same stone, but this time they were not bare and held cupboards and shelving with counters pressed against their bases. A large glass fridge sat against one of the walls and held a multitude of tubes and canisters full of different liquids.

She was connected to an IV drip that would rhythmically release cool liquid into her veins. She tried to struggle and loosen the restraints, but they didn't seem to budge.

"You're not going to be able to loosen them." a woman's voice said and Clarke looked forward to see a young woman approaching with bandages in hand, "They are just a precaution, for your own protection as well as mine."

The woman pulled a small rolling stool up to the edge of the bed and inspected Clarke's leg. The blonde looked down to see that her wound had been properly closed with what looked like a type of glue. "Who are you?" Clarke asked the woman who she thought was maybe only a few years older than herself. She had jet black hair that had an almost navy tint to it in the artificial brightness and was pulled back into a low hanging ponytail. Her skin was lightly tanned and Clarke could see a few lines of black ink peeking out from under the sleeve of her dark grey, short sleeved shirt; her eyes were an incredibly pale green-grey color with a bright blue ring around the outer edge and her facial features were soft but with well defined, high cheekbones.

The woman did not reply to Clarke's question just quickly and precisely wrapped the bandage around Clarke's leg. The blonde was going to ask her question again when she heard the door open. Dr. Wells entered the room sporting a new non-blood stained white shirt as well as butterfly stitches over the wound Lexa had caused him.

"How is it looking?" he asked the young woman.

"There will be a scar, but it will heal properly, the stitches will dissolve when the skin heals enough." She replied before getting up from her seat and throwing away the bandage wrappers. "Is there anything else you would like me to attend too, sir?"

"Yes, would you be so kind as to go tell Myra that both of our injured guests are ready for the trials and to begin the preparations. I don't want to hold this off any longer."

The woman nodded and exited the room. When the door clicked shut the doctor turned back to Clarke with a grin. "Tell me, Clarke, is it alright if I call you Clarke?" he asked as he sat down on the stool next to the bed. When she didn't reply he simply continued. "What was it like? To live in space and view Earth from above? It must have been spectacular, I've read plenty of books on Astronomy and the universe, but unfortunately my life will forever be on this planet."

Clarke stayed silent, even though she had seen what happens when this man is provoked she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of having a normal conversation with her.

"Oh come now, don't be like that. I'm genuinely curious, but I suppose you are more so given your current predicament. You are probably very confused about what is going on, but I assure you it will all make sense very soon. But first, you and the Commander will be going through some tests."

Clarke couldn't stop herself from gulping because the way he said it was far more terrifying than she had anticipated.

"Oh don't worry, they will be nothing too horrible, I simply want to see how you two survive." He stood up and started walking towards the door. He entered a code into the keypad and when the door opened he looked over his shoulder and gave her a big, bright smile. "Congratulations by the way, you two make the most darling of couples."


	11. Chapter 11

A short while after Dr. Wells left the young woman who had bandaged Clarke up returned with the Neanderthal looking man following close behind. Clarke watched every move she made as the raven haired girl prepared a syringe and injected it into the IV system. The liquid was dark and the blonde's heart rate quickened as it snaked through the small tubing before disappearing into her veins.

It was oddly warm and gave her a burning sensation that slowly mapped her entire body. She started struggling against the restraints, but as quickly as she started her entire body became useless from her toes to her head she couldn't even open her mouth to speak; the only things she could do was breath through her nose and move her eyes.

"Don't be too frightened," the girl said as she began removing the restraints, "Dr. Wells created that particular chemical, it's somewhat like a paralytic, it prevents your skeletal muscles from contracting while still allowing you to breathe and leaving all of your senses and internal organs perfectly intact. He made it specifically so the person injected with it could still have use of their eyes." She finished releasing the final strap on Clarke's neck, "but don't worry the effects only last about twenty to thirty minutes then you'll have full function like nothing ever happened. We're only using it to transport you since you've already had some sedatives, we don't want to give you too much."

The woman nodded towards the man who lumbered up to the bed and picked Clarke up in his enormous arms. The woman was right, she had no control over her body and the experience was unnerving enough on its own. Her head lolled back involuntarily as the man carried her out of the room, leaving the woman behind who began to clean up, when they turned into the hallway Clarke watched as Lexa was brought out of the neighboring room, her shoulder now cleanly bandaged, being held by the man with the sunken face; her body was as motionless as her own.

The men stopped and didn't move any further, simply stood in front of their respective rooms and waited. A few moments later footsteps approached from down the hall and a familiar face came into the view.

"It's nice to see you again, Clarke." If her face could show it, the shock would have dominated her features.

_Emerson_ , her mind growled, _that cowardly bastard_.

Carl Emerson walked further down to Lexa and smiled down at her before turning his attention to the men holding them, "Follow me."

The bunker was enormous and full of a maze of halls that seemed to go on and on, eventually they reached a large elevator. When inside Clarke watched as the digital numbers started changing, first reading, 'SUB-15' all the way up until it reached 'SUB-2'. The metal doors opened with a slight air release and Emerson led all of them through more halls, but these weren't the same stone they were pure white and the lights reflected off of them to make them look even brighter. They passed several rooms along the way one even looking like it could have been used as a grand conference room.

Clarke felt the man's large calloused hands grip tighter against her back and legs as they ascended a flight of stairs into more halls, but this floor differed even more, it was far more open in layout and honestly looked as if someone lived there with tables, chairs, and other furnishings. The decorated rooms passed swiftly though as they went through a set of metal double doors and entered a large hallway that angled them upward, when they finally reached the end of the hall Clarke could start to feel her muscles coming back to life.

Standing in front of a massive metal door was Dr. Wells who was smiling and holding a silver briefcase in front of him. Emerson stepped forward and stood next to the doctor.

"Welcome ladies," Benjamin said in a delighted tone. The paralytic had now worn off enough so that both Clarke and Lexa had full control over their heads and mouths.

'What the hell is he doing here?" Clarke growled.

"Ah, so I see the drug has already started to wear off." The doctor said as he handed Emerson the briefcase.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance." Lexa said towards Emerson who simply shrugged his shoulders which only angered her further.

"I had a feeling his presence would rile the both of you up, its best for you to start out with some motivation for the trials. You see Mr. Emerson has been working for me for a very long time from inside Mount Weather and thanks to you he is finally being able to join in on my work in person. It was just one of the many benefits I gained from your destruction of those idiotic narcissists."

"How have you been working for him?" Clarke asked as she felt the muscles in her neck and back start to come back to her.

"I found their communication signals," Emerson said nonchalantly, "I was just starting out as a soldier and was tasked to find out if there were other survivors in any of the other bunkers that were built. When I came across their hidden radio lines I made contact and when I learned of Dr. Wells' plan I thought it was genius. We share the same ideals you see, I never agreed with that fool Dante's leadership he was weak and what the doctor is going to achieve was alone a great incentive to become a spy for him."

"I knew you were a coward, but I never thought of you as a traitor." Lexa spat.

"I'm the traitor?" Emerson laughed darkly, "Aren't you the one that took _my_ deal?"

"Enough," Dr. Wells said, "It's time to begin the trials."

Opening the briefcase Emerson held the doctor pulled out what looked to be two of the bracelets that the 100 had worn when they first arrived on Earth that transmitted their vital signs back to the Ark.

"Is that?" Clarke whispered.

"You're technology is quite astounding, luckily my people were able to recover some of them that weren't completely destroyed. I made a few modifications, but essentially the function is the same." he clamped and secured the silver bracelet around her wrist, "These will be much more difficult to remove as well."

Placing the other bracelet on Lexa's wrist, Benjamin walked over and together with Emerson unlocked and pushed open the blast door letting fresh air sweep through the hall and fill Clarke's lungs. When the door was completely open the two men carrying them walked over the threshold and unceremoniously dropped the two women on their backs.

"The goal of your first trial is to simply survive by any means. I'll be watching the entire time so, please, make it entertaining." He signaled for the two monstrous men to close the door, "Good luck. You'll need it; Myra hasn't had a good hunt in a while."

The massive metal door shut with a loud thud and when it did both Clarke and Lexa got full function of their muscles back. Standing up Clarke looked around in awe; they were standing in the ruins of the Greenbrier hotel. Massive pillars that had been broken were lying across mounds and mounds of rubble and debris that were scattered around second and third story floors that still stood, but were half collapsed. Turning around Clarke looked at the extremely thick metal blast door with some remnants of drywall still attached to its outer edges of it and the hallways leading back then down into the earth; it was only thing left completely intact around them.

As she turned back towards the fallen structures, Lexa stepped up to her and placed her hands on the sides of her face brushing away the loose blonde tresses that had fallen across her eyes, "Are you alright, Clarke? Did they hurt you?" Lexa's green eyes were searching her face and Clarke brought her own hands up and placed them atop the brunette's.

"I'm fine, I promise. Are you?" Lexa nodded as Clarke brought then entwined hands down between them but not before placing a quick kiss across the Commander's knuckles and rested their foreheads together. Since this ordeal began all she wanted to do was feel Lexa against her; to just feel her presence that acted as a safeguard and gave way to her own self-empowerment and confidence even in their bleakest moments.

They were only able to hold each other like that for a moment before an arrow flew precisely in the space between their chins. Being forced back to reality they both flew back from each other and Clarke looked over to see the tail of the arrow wobble in the breeze as the point had embedded itself firmly into the steel of the blast door.

Whipping her head in the opposite direction, the blonde looked up to see the archer standing atop one of the large white pillars. Myra was dressed in the same black pants with a matching tank top, the only accentuating features was the metallic glimmer of the daggers placed on each hip and the hilt of a sword that peeked out from over her right shoulder with a quiver of arrows crossing it on the left.

Lexa's instincts kicked in to full steam as Myra strung another arrow, she had a feeling this opponent would not go down easily and they were without weapons; their only option was to run. Quickly assessing her surroundings Lexa spotted a small break in the rubble that lead to the forest; grabbing Clarke's hand the two made a run for it just as the arrow was released.

Their hands never left the others' once they out of the immediate area of crumbled marble and wreckage and even as they continued to sprint into the forest.

They never slowed down even though Lexa was positive they weren't being chased. From the look she had seen in the former Azgeda's eyes she knew they were now the hunted and that their predator was going to stalk them like lambs and wait until it was perfect time to strike. The Ice Nation had some of the best trackers and hunters of all the Clans, they had to be incredible patient and resourceful in the environment they lived in so children were taught from an incredibly young age. Myra would have been a master, far exceeding Lexa's own abilities by the time the fire had happened and she had disappeared from her Clan.

Eventually, however, their sprints were forced to stop all together as they reached a tall barbed-wire fence that stretched as far as they could see.

As they approached the fence, Clarke could hear a faint, but familiar hum coming from the metal but Lexa was already at the fence getting ready to climb, "Lexa no!" she said as the woman in question gripped one of the metal links.

There was a sizzling, crackling noise as Lexa cried out in pain. Immediately removing her hand from the fence, there was already an angry red line on her palm; Lexa glared at the now smoking piece of metal.

"It's electrified," Clarke said as carefully inspected the burn on the Commanders hand.

"Of course it is," Lexa said wryly, "I'm assuming it runs all the way around so we're trapped in here. Ow!"

"Sorry," Clarke said apologetically as she wrapped her hands around the Commander's, "The burn isn't that bad it's just going to be painful for a while," she paused and looked back towards the ruins, "I don't know what kind of game he's playing, but I don’t think we have a choice in going along with it."

Lexa nodded in agreement, "Myra won't attack until we are least expecting it. We should find some high ground and see if we can make some weapons of some sort. If I can get her in close quarters with a decent weapon, we might have a chance."

"No," Clarke said firmly and Lexa turned to meet that typical stubborn gaze, "You're not going to fight her by yourself, Lexa, it'd be suicide."

Clarke watched as Lexa had the audacity to smirk at her.

"What are you smirking at?" she said as her stubborn demeanor increased and she crossed her arms over her chest.

Lexa shrugged and threw a playful glance towards the young leader, "Have I ever told you how both infuriating and attractive you are when you're stubborn like that?"

Clarke opened her mouth and gaped at in complete bewilderment at the Commander. "Now? You're seriously choosing now to flirt with me? When we're being _hunted_ by a homicidal, brainwashed assassin for the perverse gain of a madman?"

Lexa's smirk grew as she started walking towards a small hill, "Are you coming?"

Clarke shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, "We really are going to need to work on your timing with that."

Lexa stopped and looked back at the blonde, "Then we might want to get to higher ground and come up with a non-suicidal plan to get out of this."

The walk up the hill was fairly steep, but when they reached the tree covered peak they hid behind a large rocky outcropping which gave them a perfect vantage point towards what remained of the Greenbrier.

Lexa immediately went to work carving some sturdy braches into spears and chipping away at some pointed rocks to make the edges sharp while Clarke was on lookout.

The sun above them was high in the sky and Clarke assumed that it was just after noon, "How long do you think we've been down there?"

"At least a night." Lexa replied as she held up a sharpened rock for inspection. Clarke nodded and continued to look around, a few moments later she paused when she saw something reflecting light up in one of the trees near them.

"Lexa." she said gaining the other girl's attention. Clarke pointed at the area and Lexa followed to see a small camera facing them in the crook of one of the trees. Picking up one of the smaller spears she had made, Lexa bounced it in her palm to check its weight before throwing it and making a direct hit with the lens of camera.

Clarke wasn't expecting the sudden action and it caused her to jump slightly, "Seriously?" she asked as she turned back towards the Commander, "A little warning would be nice the next time you decide to do that."

"I wasn't going to hit you if that what's you're worried about." Lexa said calmly as she went back to sharpening more weapons. Clarke shook her head; _of course she would be calm and collected in a situation like this_.

There was silence that passed through them for several minutes and Clarke got lost in her own thoughts thinking about everything from reasons this was happening to the probability that they would all survive this and make it back. She thought about how they would get out of here, about her friends that were still stuck in a cell hundreds of feet below ground or worse that they were being experimented on; she thought about her people, her mother, and the promise that she had made before she left.

The blonde glanced over at Lexa who had just finished sharpening her third rock to hard point. _This isn't how I thought things would start out between us_ , Clarke thought as she cast her eyes down for a moment before returning them to the horizon, _we should have stayed in that cave. No, neither of our loyalties or prides would allow that, but what if we can't get out of here?_ Clarke closed her eyes and let her mind escape for a temporary distraction and instantly it went to that night in the cave, their kiss in the rain and the feeling of Lexa's arms wrapped around her the entire night.

Lexa looked up from her work to see the troubled look on the blonde's face and she knew exactly what Clarke was thinking. Setting down her tools she went over to girl who was leaning against the rock formation, with sad blue eyes floating about the view, "Clarke." The blonde jumped slightly at the word, she hadn't heard Lexa come up next to her but when she turned she knew she hadn't been hiding her worries well.

"How are you so calm about all of this?" Clarke asked, her voice quiet between them, "This is so much more than what we faced with Mount Weather. I don't know if I…" Clarke shook her head and looked away, closing her eyes as soon as they reached the white ruins below.

Clarke inhaled deeply as she felt fingers brush up her jaw and cup her face, turning it back towards the waiting Commander. Instinctually leaning into the touch, Clarke felt the breath leave her as soft lips were pressed against her own. The kiss was the most tender they had ever shared, a feather light brush of lips; it was meant to reassure, to comfort, to calm, to be the port in the proverbial storm, and Clarke felt all of it.

She didn't know what it was but every time Lexa kissed her every single worry, trouble, and burden seemed to vanish with the breeze, but this time was different because when they finally broke apart the turmoil didn't return.

Clarke opened her eyes when she felt the absence against her lips and when she did she was greeted with the compassionate yet cool and confident look in the Commander's beautifully emerald eyes. "Why is it that whenever you kiss the world seems to stop?" Clarke said with a small smile.

"Maybe I'm just that good of a kisser." Clarke choked out a laugh as Lexa smiled at her. Lexa's gaze softened then and she moved her hand from Clarke's cheek to twirl an errant strand of hair around her finger.

"When I was very young my father taught me a skill he said would help me though battle, survival, and all of my weakest hours and darkest nights." Lexa began, her eyes still transfixed on the curly blonde hair, "He taught me how to completely separate my wants from my needs. He always said that no matter how much you want to let you let your anger or fear or whatever other emotion run wild in a moment of peril, it's not what needs to be done and that there is a constant universal need is to survive and that if you focus on that need until the danger has subsided then it allows you to make the best, unclouded decisions."

She stopped twirling Clarke's hair and looked directly into the blue orbs in front of her.

"Clarke, you are so much more to me than just a want or desire, you have become a part of that need. I don't know when or how or why it happened, but it did and I'm glad it did. Whenever I focus on that need to survive your image is always there, right in front and even before my own survival. So I promise you that I will get you home no matter what it takes, but I can't do it alone. You've taken the ground by storm Clarke, I've met my match in so many ways and honestly I can't think of any existence in which we aren't standing side by side. This is not the end for us, Clarke, I'm not going to let it be and neither should you."

Clarke didn't know what to say, so instead she reached and grabbed the Commander by the back of the neck and crashed their lips together in a passionate kiss. Lexa immediately pushed herself up against Clarke as much as she could, moving Clarke backwards in the process until she was fully pressed against the rock wall behind her.

The kiss deepened and Clarke caught Lexa's bottom lip between her own and felt the hum of a moan escape the brunette, but the blonde broke the kiss before it could go any further, "This probably isn't the best time to be doing this." she breathed.

"You're right," Lexa said as she gave Clarke one last small kiss before moving away to give the blonde some room.

"Who knew the stoic Commander of the Woods Clan could give a girl so much confidence while making her heart flutter out of her chest and her knees go weak at the same time.

"It's just one of my many talents." Lexa quipped and Clarke couldn't hold back a laugh.

"Is it now? Well we will definitely have to explore some of your other talents at a later point, but now we probably should use some particular ones to get through this damn trial."

Lexa handed a long, pointed branch then two sharpened rocks to Clarke who fit them in the pockets of her pants, "Let's go hunting then."


	12. Chapter 12

"This is even more suicidal than the first plan, I hope you know." Clarke said as she and Lexa started their decent from their hiding space.

"I'm open to suggestions, Clarke, but we aren't going to get anywhere by just sitting and waiting."

"If I get shot by an arrow, I'm blaming you."

"I'll make it up to you." Lexa said as she looked over her shoulder and gave the blonde a wink to which Clarke simply shook her head and tried to hide the smile that spread across her face.

"So what do you know about her? Myra?" Clarke asked as balanced her footing on the hillside.

"Do you remember what I told you about how the Ice Nation works?"

"That their leadership is run by a single family. That it's some sort of monarchy." Clarke replied

"Exactly, according to records the Ice Nation was first established by a family who had secured a compound to the north that hadn't been destroyed during the war and as their settlement grew that family became their leaders and have been ever since." Lexa started, keeping her voice down, "I was very young, maybe three or four, when the rest of the Clans got the information about her death but it wasn't until I became Commander that I leaned what happened.

"Myra was the next in line for leadership as the eldest child and when she was ten years old she went out in a hunting party on the border of their territory with her younger sister and her father, the Queen's partner. Myra had apparently been injured in the hunt and was left with some guards in one of the tents while the others continued on. According to the information we received their campfire caught on one of the tents and then spread across the rest of it. There were no survivors."

"I wonder how she ended up all the way out here then." Clarke inquired as they reached the base of the hill.

Lexa stopped and turned to Clarke, "I don't know, but maybe Wells' reach is longer than we thought," Clarke nodded and looked around them.

"But Clarke," Lexa said getting back the blonde's attention, "don't underestimate her, I'll have your back the entire time. Please just-just be careful, alright?"

Clarke walked forward and kissed Lexa firmly. "You be careful too." Clarke whispered when she pulled back just the slightest. Lexa nodded and kissed her again.

They walked a bit further into the forest and a silence overtook them; it was time to end this, it was time to survive.

Their plan was flawed and they knew it, but time was not on their side and nor was the survival of the rest of their group if they didn't get through this as quickly as possible. Clarke watched as Lexa gave her a small nod before moving away from her and disappearing into the forest. Taking a deep breath Clarke started moving forward, she was to be a distraction and draw Myra out or rather draw her fire. They had decided that their best bet was to eliminate their opponent's long range weapons, so Clarke was to get Myra to fire at her as many times as she could while Lexa stayed within close proximity, but well-hidden enough so that the Commander could swiftly draw the archer into hand to hand combat when her quiver was near empty.

Clarke's heart was racing as she moved throughout the eerily quiet forest. She gripped her spear firmly, feeling the roughness of the bark marking her palms, as she kept an eye out.

She walked for what seemed like hours, circling the ruins while backtracking and randomizing routes to try and draw the hunter out, but still nothing. The birds were the only things making noise and every so often Clarke would hear the familiar sound of Lexa imitating the calls. Clarke replied with her own coo and she felt her heart calm the slightest. She was glad they had decided to keep a signal to let the other know everything was alright; it was the only thing keeping her nervous anxiety form taking over.

_Focus, Clarke, just stay focused she's going to lose patience eventually. The others are fine, they're still in the cell but their alright. You're going to make it through this, you're going to be home before you know it and then you can have Lexa all to yourself. You can kiss her as much as you want, kiss those amazingly delicious lips and get her to make that sound again before trailing down her jaw to her neck and kiss every inch of skin you expose as you-_

Clarke stopped walking abruptly and closed her eyes. _Okay, that's probably not the best thing to focus on at this moment._

Clarke opened her eyes and whirled around when she heard a rustling in the bushes. Clarke's reflexes acted immediately and she hurled her sharpened rock with accurate precision at the exact spot the sound had come from. When there was no sound of impact with something alive, she moved forward slowly and pushed back the shrubbery; nothing was there.

Clarke let out a breath and retrieved her stone dagger. Looking down to make sure it was securely in her pocket she turned around, but stopped immediately when she almost ran into a pair of dark boots.

Moving her gaze up slowly, Clarke gulped as she followed a black-clad figure all the way up to brown hair that glowed a deep red in the low sunlight, to healed scars that lead all the way up to a haunting black stare.

Myra looked down at the blonde who took a few step backwards and a smile formed at the corners of her mouth before she let out a small laugh, "And to think I thought this would be fun."

Clarke's mind raced through her options; Myra was holding her bow at her side and she knew that the archer could have an arrow in her back by the time the she turned to run which only left one choice, she would have to fight and hope she lasted long enough for Lexa to get here.

Feeling the weight of the spear in her hand, Clarke gripped the bark as firmly as she could before she launched herself forward with a cry of force, driving the spear directly towards the stomach of the woman in front of her. She had a clear shot and put all of her weight behind the wooden spear and hoped that the element of surprise was on her side.

Just as she reached the woman, however, her weapon halted any and all movements causing Clarke to jolt forward then back like a tightly wound rubber band; she felt the whiplash surge through her core but was able to stay standing.

Clarke looked to see what had caused it and saw a hand gripping the neck of the weapon as the point just barely brushed up against the fabric of Myra's shirt, "So you do have some fight, it's almost admirable." Myra said with a mischievous glint in her eye, "Almost."

Before Clarke had the chance to make another move Myra was ripping the spear from her grip and with one hand and at lightning speed thrust the horizontal length of it into Clarke's chest sending her flying back until she landed flat on her back.

Clarke felt like her chest was going to cave in as she attempted to take in any sort of oxygen she could. _How is she that strong? That fast? It's not normal, it's not human._ Clarke staggered to her feet, using a tree next to her to help keep balance. Looking up with heavy breath she saw a decision was made across Myra's face.

The warrior twirled the spear in her hand a few times before launching it directly into the tree Clarke was leaning on; the vibrations of the impact rocked her entire body. Looking over at her weapon she noted that not only was the bark of the impaled tree cracked like a spider web but the spear itself had been split nearly in two.

"How?" Clarke said, the shock and horror of her expression completely evident in her tone, as she turned her attention back to her hunter.

"Benjamin and his father, they made me so much more," she said with a smile then locked eyes with the terrified blonde and started walking forward. With each step Myra took forward, Clarke took one back until they were walking further into the forest, "They made me stronger, faster, and so much more intellegent. They heightened all of my senses so I'm acutely aware of everything around me, hell, Ben even increased the rate at which my cells regenerate!" her smile grew and her voice rose with conviction as she herded Clarke into a clearing.

"I can smell your fear; I can hear your heart pumping that adrenaline throughout your body. I can see you searching for a way out, but Clarke." She stopped walking and lowered her voice, "There is none."

Within the blink of an eye Myra had an arrow strung, aimed, and slicing through the air; the only reflex that was fast enough was for the young Arker to slam her eyes shut.

Clarke felt the whoosh of the wind and heard the impact before anything else. But there was no pain, and the impact was in that of wood not flesh.

When she opened her eyes she felt a sudden stinging pain coming from her cheek and the outer ear. She felt the warmth against her cheek and brought a hand up to brush a single finger against it then another at her ear; pulling her hand back they were stained with red blood and she exhaled.

"Let's see if I can't make this a little more entertaining, shall we?" Myra spoke which shot Clarke's attention back to her. The blonde didn't think it was possible, but those onyx eyes grew even darker when she whispered:

"Run."

And that's exactly what Clarke did. She turned on her heels and ran as fast as she could into the forest. She heard the laughter behind her while arrows whizzed through the air like tiny missiles, connecting with tree after tree as Clarke passed them.

"Lexa where are you!" she said aloud. She hoped that the Commander was near and that she was still alive. She could barely hear Myra's swift footfalls behind her but she kept running and running until the forest opened up to the enormous ruins where they had begun.

Clarke skidded to a stop when she reached the wreckage and turned back to the forest to see Myra standing with her head cocked to the side and a lazy smile across her lips. "Give up already?" she drawled, "That's no fun, I didn't even break a sweat."

As the last word left her lips, Myra began sprinting directly towards Clarke. She was fast, faster than anyone Clarke had ever seen, but just as the former Ice Nation princess reached her, Clarke felt the warmth of another body jump in-between them.

Brown braids danced in front of her as Lexa jumped down form a pillar, landing in front of Clarke just in time to connect a fist into Myra's jaw. The Commander had used the momentum from the jump to back the punch which sent the hunter reeling and stumbling back, giving Lexa the extra split second to glance behind her and reassure the blue eyes she met.

She didn't waste any time, however, because as soon as emerald collided with sapphire the connection was gone and the warrior of the Trigedakru launched forward into an attack.

Myra's reflexes kicked into overdrive and she was able to dodge Lexa's initial attack. Clarke watched from her perspective as the two clashed fists and kicks in extremely close quarters. That's where Lexa wanted to be, however, her first punch had knocked the bow from Myra's hands and if she could keep close enough to her so she didn't have time to reach for the weapons at her back or hips; the Commander might have chance.

After several moments of onslaught Myra sent a jab towards the Commander's face, but it was blocked and countered. They continued to spar like this, each effectively blocking and countering but with only minimal hits connecting to either party. Clarke spotted the bow lying on the ground and ran for it; collecting the bow she circled around into the rubble making sure kept an eye on the two sparring women.

Finally coming around to the opposite side and behind Myra, Clarke rushed forward bow in hand and pulled out one of her sharpened rock daggers from her pocket. She aimed right to the back of Myra's of neck, but the woman was too aware and while blocking one of Lexa's attacks she swung her left elbow back knocking the rock out of Clarke's hand and following through until it smashed into the mandible of the blonde.

Clarke grunted at the force of the hit which distracted Lexa just enough for Myra to swing herself low and sweep Lexa's feet out from under her. Before her back hit the ground Myra was on top of her and unsheathing both daggers from her hips. Clarke got her bearings quicker than she would have if adrenaline wasn't coursing through her veins and lunged forward towards them.

Gripping her daggers tight, Myra pressed one to the throat of the Commander while the other was held out and stopped the Arker in her tracks as the tip pressed against her chest. Lexa tried to move, but Myra's lower body was holding her against the ground as her knees trapped the Commander's wrists.

"Move and I slit her throat." Myra growled to Clarke who had frozen in place. "That was a nice surprise, Commander; I would expect nothing less from you." Myra said as she licked the blood away from the corner of her mouth, her shadowy gaze never leaving Clarke.

"Why are you doing this?" Lexa gritted, "Why have you betrayed your family, you Clan, to serve the will of a madman?"

Myra barked a harsh laugh and turned her attention to Lexa, "My family? My family means nothing to me! I belong to no Clan! The twelve Clans can slaughter each other like they've always done for all I care!"

Clarke saw the opportunity and reached for her other stone dagger, but Myra was quicker and snapped her gaze back while simultaneously pressing the blade firmer against Clarke's chest and doing the same with the one pressed to Lexa's throat drawing a single line of blood from the brunette's broken skin. "Ah, ah, ah," she sing-songed, "We don't want to make any rash decisions now do we?"

Clarke stopped her hand and let out a ragged, frustrated breath form her nose. After a moment of silence, Myra continued but her eyes never left Clarke's this time around, "Now, Commander, I know you understand exactly who my sister is, how ruthless and power hungry she is. I know what's she's put you through and so you of all people should understand that she has _always_ been that way."

"What do you mean?" Lexa asked.

"Let me guess, the records that were reported about my supposed death, they say that it was an accident that the campfire was left unattended and spread wildly burning down our entire camp. Am I close?" Myra said glancing back to the Commander who nodded, "Of course it does, the truth is that she started it. Sura was only eight years old at that time but my father instilled in her from her birth to do whatever it took to get what she wanted. She wanted the throne, so she took it; my own child sister trapped me my tent while I was resting from injury and then set it, along with everything else, ablaze before scurrying off to our doting father."

"But then how did you survive?" Clarke asked.

Myra didn't reply, in fact Clarke noticed that she wasn't looking at her anymore, but rather past her. Clarke turned her head to see what had caught the other woman's attention and when she did she saw a small drone with rhythmically, flashing red lights several yards behind her. A commotion tore her attention back to before her, but when she turned her head back it was snapped back the opposite way by a strong boot that crashed into jaw.

Lexa watched as with one fluid movement Myra had retracted both blades and swung herself up, spinning in a full rotation before landing a roundhouse kick to Clarke's jaw. Lexa was on her feet in an instant when the pressure that trapped her was relieved but Clarke had already fallen motionless to the ground.

Before she had a chance to register the fact the Clarke was simply knocked out, Myra was drawing her sword from her back and swinging at Lexa. Evading the blow just in time, the brunette focused on the target in front of her. Avoiding another swipe Lexa rolled out of the way and removed both of her wooden spears from where they had been secured at her sides.

The dull thud of wood and steel connected over and over as Lexa was continually forced back with every strike Myra made. Using her weapons like batons, Lexa expertly deflected all of the attacks with one while trying to strike with the other in quick succession.

They parried all over the ruins, moving over mounds of broken marble and up large pillars. They climbed and jumped across the remnants of the different floors. As they reached the top of fallen pillar that slanted into the air, Myra swung her sword overhead and Lexa blocked it with one of her weapons, but the steel broke right through the center of the wooden spear. Tossing it aside, Lexa gripped her other weapon with both hands and tried to deflect another attack but an unsteady footing caught her off guard and Myra sliced into her left triceps.

Moving past the pain Lexa jumped from the height of the pillar and stuck the landing with a bend of the knee before sprinting out of the main rubble to create distance, knowing that the archer was without her bow. Myra followed her suit, however, and caught up to the Commander where dust met lush grass. Lexa was ready and once Myra was in striking distance ducked from her imminent attack, planted her palms into the ground and brought her leg around in a devastating kick to the back of woman's knees. Myra fell forward but was able to twist her body around so she would fall on her back, releasing the grip of her sword in the process.

As soon as Myra hit the ground Lexa had gotten to her feet, spear in hand, and drove the sharpened point down. With her entire body hyperactive, but sluggish from the fall Myra was able to roll slightly away to move the impact point from her chest to her shoulder, but Lexa was putting all of her weight behind the strike and the wooden shaft dug into flesh with a bloody rip.

Lexa held onto the spear with white knuckles and gave it one last push until she felt the tip pierce into the firm earth. Crimson blood stained the grass below her in a dark puddle, but Myra was only fazed for a fraction of a second. The impaled woman gripped the neck of the spear with both hands and pushed upwards, forcing Lexa back as she slowly got to her feet.

Myra locked her gaze with Lexa's as she pulled the wooden spear out of her shoulder, finishing it off with a swift knee to Lexa's stomach. The hunter's grasp on the bloodied bark was stronger than the Commander's, however, and the knee had more force than she thought and sent Lexa stumbling back.

Going on the offensive the bloodied warrior started striking with never ending force, each blow connecting with its target on Lexa's body. She was using the blunt end of the spear bruise the Commander from her face down her torso. Lexa could already feel the fatigue setting in, they had fighting for so long the sun was at its early stages of setting and each massive blow kept knocking her down.

Then, Myra slammed the butt end of the spear into Lexa's cheek and the Commander tasted the coppery sensation of blood pool in her mouth and exit out her lips as her head snapped to the side. When it did, however, her mind found attention because the spot where Clarke had been lying unconscious was now void of everything but earth.

Managing to stay on her feet Lexa turned her head back just in time to hear Myra's cry of pain and see the flash of blonde.

When Clarke had awoken the two women had been heavy in combat, both covered in sweat, dirt, and blood with their attentions directly focused on their immediate opponent. Looking around Clarke spotted the abandoned sword, it was lying in wait between her and Myra's back; she knew it would be risky and that Myra might see her anyway, but she had to try.

Stealthily moving forward, Clarke grabbed the sword and shot off her feet towards the ensuing battle and slide on her knees the last foot so that the blade of the sword ripped into Myra's calf.

Clarke yanked the now reddened blade out of the woman's leg as she collapsed to her knees. Lexa looked up, her chest heaving for breath, at the blonde with a small but grateful smile. Clarke placed the tip of the sword at the base of Myra's neck while Lexa retried the wooden spear and placed its respective point to her hollow of the kneeling woman's throat.

They had done it. They had survived.

Clarke looked up to Lexa and the Commander met her gaze and held it for a moment, but then their defeated opponent started laughing.

The forest and ruins seemed to come alive then as rustling of leaves and heavy footfalls approached from all directions. Clarke and Lexa looked around and Lexa's heart dropped as she saw the faces of the men and women who approached them with weapons in hand and eyes as blank as starless sky.

Clarke felt her sword drop from Myra's neck as she started recognizing the distinctive tattoos that adorned the, what seemed like, nearly two dozen people surrounding them. Some looked different, more like the beast men they had encountered earlier but not as distinguished, but the majority of them were physically unchanged.

They were all Grounders.

Lexa felt her stomach churn as she looked at all of them and even recognized some of the faces. They were all those that had been missing; they were all her people.

Clapping broke through Myra's dark laughter and the women's attention turned towards the ruins where Dr. Wells and Emerson entered into the circle.

"Congratulations!" Wells said as he continued to clap, "You have both passed the first trial with flying colors!"

Six of the expressionless soldiers stepped up when Emerson motioned to them, three of them going to the Arker and three to the Commander they relieved the women of their weapons and pushed them to their knees to subdue them.

"I have to say I was thoroughly entertained, for a moment I thought that things were going to drag on with all of the talk of the past, but you two exceeded my expectations." He looked at Myra who was being helped to her feet by Emerson, "and you even managed to give Myra quite the run for her money. I'll take a look at them when we are done here." He said to her as he took a closer look at her shoulder.

Taking a few steps forward he walked directly up to Clarke, "I think we can move directly onto your second trial Ms. Griffin." He turned his head to the side, "Bring him in!"

Coming from out of the rubble the enormous man with the masses scouring his face entered his grip firmly on the arms of Bellamy. The first think Clarke noticed was his injures, his right eye was slightly swollen and already purpling with a bruise and a large cut graced his left cheek.

The man walked up next to the three people holding Lexa and pushed him down on his knees so he and the Commander were side by side.

"I am going to give you a simple choice Clarke," Dr. Wells said as he moved away from her and stood a few feet away from the other two. "Your lover and former enemy or you friend and fellow leader,"

Clarke felt her throat tighten as he pulled a gun out of a holster at his side, "Which would like to die?"

Clicking off the safety Benjamin Wells raised the gun and lined it up with Bellamy's forehead.

"No! Please!" Clarke yelled and Wells looked towards her.

"So you'd rather it be the Commander?" he questioned moving the pistol towards Lexa.

"No! You don't have to do this. Don’t shoot them; I'll do whatever you want." Clarke pleaded as she tried to struggle from the soldiers' grip.

"Admirable, but you'll do what I ask in time. Now, however, I need you to make a choice." He took a few steps until the muzzle of the gun was pressed against Lexa's brow.

Clarke started pleading, but he raised his voice to overpower hers, "What will be Clarke? Lexa or Bellamy?"

Clarke paused her tongue and looked hopelessly at the man who had become like a brother to her and to the woman whom she was undoubtedly falling in love with.

Then it clicked.

"You won't kill either of them." she said softly.

"What was that?" he asked with a smirk.

"You won't kill them!" she said with more confidence, "Whatever your plan is, you need all three of us you've made that abundantly clear since we got here. You won't kill them, you need us."

His smile grew, "You're right I do." He said as he lowered the gun, "But I don't need the weak links of your group."

Clarke's confidence shattered as form the crowd the two other massive beasts of men walked towards them with Monty and Jasper.

"No!" Bellamy yelled, "Don't you dare!" but he was blocked from saying anything else when the man holding him shoved his face into the dirt.

"So, Clarke, I'll ask you again. Which friend do you choose to die?" Wells said lining up the shot to Monty's trembling head.

"Don't do this, please! Please I'll do anything! Kill me instead of them, take me and let them live!" she continued to plead and plead, begging for the lives of her friends as the doctor stood there and smiled at her.

"What's your decision?" he asked her.

"Take me instead, please I beg of you." She said softer this time.

"Begging is not becoming of you and as you said Clarke, I need you." He said as he turned his gaze back towards the two boys in front of him. "I'm disappointed in you, Clarke; you refuse to make a decision."

When he looked back at her, his gaze was sharper then the sword that had been tossed aside, "If you won't make one then I will."

Without looking away from her, Dr. Wells turned the gun to Jasper whose eyes widened when the barrel lined up with the center of his brow.

Clarke couldn't even hear herself scream above the echo of the gunshot.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to everyone who has continued to stick with me on this journey, I know it's getting a little crazy. I'm sorry for the shortness of this chapter, I have been incredibly busy the past couple of days and this chapter was originally going to be a lot longer but I wanted to get something up for you guys so I divided it up into two parts with Chapter 14 being uploaded on Sunday as usual (hopefully I'll have it done before then).
> 
> Also, just a bit of a warning. As you could probably tell from the last chapter our story will be taking a darker turn that will continue throughout the next several chapters. This is why I have rated this story 'M' because of the possibly disturbing things my mind apparently comes up with. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones to come and as always feedback is always welcomed! I love reading your guys' comments and thoughts!

Clarke was deaf to everything around her as the echo of the gunshot dimmed. She didn't hear the angry roar that was coming from Bellamy nor the commotion surrounding him as more guards tried to subdue his fury. She didn't hear the cocking of another pistol or see Emerson take a few steps forward and aim it at Lexa to quell her own struggle. She didn't hear the shock filled screams coming from Monty as Jasper's limp body fell to its side directly in front of him.

She didn't even hear the screams emanating from her own mouth or feel her body surge forward and rip out of the grip of the guards with rage fueled strength. She was completely unaware of the guards pulling her back or of her own limbs flailing and fighting their control and she didn't feel her feet surge forward toward her fallen friend.

The only things Clarke was focused on were Jasper's lifeless eyes, the single string of blood that ran down his paling skin from the fatal wound on his forehead, and the man standing above him holding the weapon that killed her friend.

Her screams turned from that of sorrow to unadulterated anger as she rushed towards him with the full intent of homicide dominating every feature.

Everything that was happening around her seemed to come crashing back when a sharp, blunt pain stopped her in her tracks. Myra had caught her with a knee to the stomach that had so much force behind it combined with her own speed and momentum that it caused Clarke to double over onto the ground with a gasping breath.

Within an instant, however, the blonde's face was slammed in the grass, her arms pulled back behind her and knees were pressed into the backs of her own. Sitting back and digging her boots further into the ground Myra pulled Clarke's arms back so that the blonde's torso was bent upwards, bringing her grass stained face up.

Clarke tried to fight the position, but even with her injured shoulder Myra was still too strong for the Arker.

"Disappointment has consequences, Clarke." Dr. Wells said as he moved towards her, crouching down so he was level with her, "I hope you'll remember that Clarke because I may need the three of you, but your friends, your precious Camp Jaha, and even your mother; they are all disposable."

Dr. Wells reached out and brushed away a small spot of dried blood and dirt from her cheek before he looked back at her with a challenging glint in his topaz eyes, "Their lives are firmly in your hands. So, now answer me this, how much more blood do you want on them?"

"The only blood I want on my hands is yours." Clarke spat at the doctor who in returned gave her an amused raise of an eyebrow then a low chuckle.

Standing up the doctor brushed some dirt off of his pants before turning to Emerson, "Sedate them and prepare them all, even the ones in the cell, for the sessions. We must keep moving forward with the plan." Emerson nodded, holstering his gun as Dr. Wells moved back over to Jasper's corpse and prodded it with the toe of his boot to move the lifeless body on its back, "And have this one prepped for autopsy, I might as well get something useful out of it."

The next thing Clarke felt was a stinging prick in her neck before her vision failed and turned black.

When she awoke next the feeling was unsettlingly familiar. Her vision was blurry, her body was sore, and when she tried to move she felt the cool, roughness of the cuffs that once bound her again around her wrists but this time the chains were pulled so tight that she little to no movement whatsoever.

"Clarke." She heard a familiar male voice say and she blinked away the spots in her vision to look at Bellamy who had been placed to her right a couple feet away. For a brief moment she thought that everything she had remembered happening was a dream, that none of it was real, but when she looked into her friends sad eyes she knew it was very much reality.

She looked away from Bellamy and felt the tears buildup behind her eyes as she spoke, "I'm so sorry. I should have-"

"It's not your fault Clarke," Bellamy said, trying to be as reassuring as he could be, "It's not your fault, it's his. It's that fucking psychopath's," he paused, fighting his own emotion, "We're going to get out of here, Jasper didn't die for nothing. We're going to get out of here and we are going to kill that bastard."

Clarke nodded her head, but didn't reply; this was turning out worse than she had ever imagined and she had that sinking feeling again that it wasn't nearly the end of it.

Looking to her left Clarke saw Lincoln focusing on the door on the left adjacent wall, then she looked across from her she saw all of her other fellow Arkers, all except one, lined up similarly to herself and all with the same sad look in their eyes that was severely hinted with the anger that was boiling underneath.

Scanning the room again, then looking down at herself Clarke noted that they were all absent of the majority of their clothing save their underclothes leaving the men shirtless and the women in not much more.

The room they were in, however, was similar to the cell they were kept in when they first arrived but it had some distinct differences. The first was there were actual lights situated on the ceiling glowing with the bright fluorescents that made the stone room look even more damp than it was and the second was that the group was at the front of the room giving them a perfect vantage point to the cells' focal point; a centerpiece that made Clarke's blood run cold.

Two large metal hooks protruded from the ceiling on either side of one of the long florescent fixtures and attached to those hooks were thick chains with so much tension that it rivaled the ones she herself was attached too. The shackles of the chains, however, were holding the wrists of a motionless Lexa.

She was wearing no more than Clarke, her feet were dangling inches off of the floor, and her ankles had been had shackled together by a chain that held in her in place. "Lexa." Clarke said earnestly, but there was no response, the Commander's head simply stayed hanging low with her eyes closed and her braids pulled out of her face.

"Lexa!" Clarke called louder this time, but there was still no response. The only reassurance came when Clarke saw the shallow up and down motion of the Commander's chest. _What is he going to do to you?_ The blonde thought, _please wake up, Lexa, I can't lose you too._

Just as the thought finished the door to the room opened and five people walked in including Emerson, a newly bandaged Myra, the man with the sunken face who was carting in a large generator, the man with the facial masses who was wheeling in a tray full of what looked like surgical instruments, and finally Dr. Benjamin Wells.

As soon as he entered there was a collective clank of metal as the chained group wracked their bindings in anger at the sight of him, but the doctor simply smiled at them smugly before lingering his gaze on Clarke. His smile grew even wider when he looked over at the Commander before he rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt and picked up a bucket that had been sitting next to the door.

Water sloshed out of the bucket as he approached Lexa who jolted awake when he threw the cold contents on her. Lexa was frantic for a moment before she got her bearings, but when she did her anxiety exploded for an instant, as she felt the strain in her shoulders and the goosebumps form on her bare skin, but then she looked down and found the safety of Clarke's face.

Clarke watched the expressions mold and change on Lexa's features from the moment she woke up to now as she made no effort to conceal her feelings and she couldn't help but feel the walls of her heart begin to crack as unknowing fear quickly morphed into resignation then to unrestrained caring and finally into the familiar cold veneer.

Lexa looked deep into those blue eyes, memorizing every piece of them and the woman they belonged too, for even in the dirt, grime, and dried blood Clarke was still as beautiful as ever; she needed to save that, she needed to remember that. Taking a mental snapshot of the woman whom she had quickly fallen for she contained it within her solid, impassive mask locking it away to a place where this man in front of her would never find it; she saw what was around her, the instruments, the chains, the look in her captor's eyes, and knew exactly what was going to happen to her.

"So nice of you to join us, Commander." Wells said as he pulled out a gold pocket watch from his black waistcoat and had Emerson write down the time.

"What's this little set up for? Hm, Doctor?" Lexa said when she had forced her gaze away from Clarke and tried not to dwell on the confused and hurt expression that graced the blonde's face when she did, "What is it that you want? Information? Because torture will get you nowhere with me."

The doctor laughed, whole-heartedly, at her before stepping closer, "I have access all of the information I could ever want, Commander, and this is so much more than mere torture. This, my dear, is your second trial."

He stopped a few paces away from her, "With your lover's disappointment, I felt it necessary to set an example of sorts out of your trial. I initially had something else planned, but with the circumstances I feel as if this would be a better show.

"You see, Commander," he continued as he began to circle her, "With everything I do, and with the innovations I need you and your comrades for, there needs to be a certain level of control beyond the static control of the experiment. There needs to be a willingness from the participant, there are some like Myra whose willingness comes naturally from a mutual trust and respect, a sharing of ideals, and then there are others like the men and women I have collected over the years from your Clans who were less open to that control and thus helped me perfect what you're about to go through. But control can be a sensitive subject and can skew the results of the experiment so they end up being bias to whatever you want them to be if there is too much," his voice was getting more and more animated as he talked,

"You need to find the balance between the control you have over a subject and their own being, their own decision making. I've been doing this for a very long time, Commander, and what I've found is that when you bring a person to a certain breaking point physically that their mind starts bringing forward the things that they hold dear; the memories that give them meaning, focus, and drive. Those memories come out to give them hope, to give them something to continue on for, but once they show themselves it's easier than you think to override and influence them so that what gives that person life is the goals I intend to achieve."

Dr. Wells paused so that he was inches away from her and continued with his voice soft, but full of cold, perverse malice, "But you, Lexa," He ran his eyes up and down her body, "You are far more than any of the people I've broken with these sessions. Because what gets you to thrive on is not love or family or any other moralistic invention of the old world, but what drives you is the basic primal need to survive; and that is where the challenge lies."

"You'll never break me. I'd die before that day happens." Lexa spoke with voice dangerous and defiant.

Wells chuckled again, "Your sincerity in that is refreshing, but I will break you and once I have conquered you while the rest of your peers watch then their sessions will go so much smoother than how I anticipate this going."

"So this is your plan then?" Clarke purposely interrupted, gaining her the full attention of the room. She knew she was baiting him, she knew of his temper but her own anger and thirst for answers was taking over. More than that, however, she didn't want to see what was going to happen, she couldn't watch Lexa be tortured because she knew that if the Commander succumbed to this tyrant of science that she would be close behind, "To torture and exploit others, manipulate their minds and murder innocent people just to gain Guinea pigs for your stupid little experiments? No, no you want more than that, you want power. You talk so much about control because that's the only way a weak, pathetic man like you will ever get the power you want so badly. "

"No!" the doctor said as his temper flared and moved over to her, "Power and greed and the need to control everything around you were the prerogatives of the cowards who called themselves leaders who created the Earth we now live in! Those flaws are cancers to our species."

"Then why go through this? Why kidnap us? Torture us, if we're all flawed?" Clarke said.

The question seemed to flip a switch and the flare of his temper was replaced with a small, curious smile as he walked back over to where Lexa hung. "Because I've finally found the few that don't have those cancers." He stopped back in front of Lexa, but turned his head back to Clarke, "My goals are simple, Clarke, and you and your friends are the only ones that hold the secrets to fulfilling them."

He turned his full attention to Lexa, "The People of the Ark and the People of the Ground are two halves of what we could be. I just needed to find the perfect specimens."

Dr. Wells locked eyes with the Commander before raising a hand and tracing a finger along the muscular curves of Lexa stomach. Both Lexa and Clarke gritted their teeth at the action and Clarke struggled against her chains again, "You are such an exquisite specimen, Lexa, the perfect melding of physical beauty and prowess with an impeccable combination of instinct and intellect ; a true alpha among undeserving betas and lowly subordinates. You have so many qualities I admire, that's why I have chosen you to be a part of the future." He quelled the motion of his fingertip and turned his back to her, "Unfortunately, you're not willing, but by the end of this you will keep those attributes necessary and you will be obedient and loyal to me."

He turned his back to her when he reached the large generator that had been brought in, "Shall we begin?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning* the following chapter contains graphic depictions of violence and extreme situations. I do not condone any of the acts that have been described within this work. Many of them have been created (by some uncharted part of my creative mind) solely for the intention of this work of fiction; however, some of the techniques used are variations of actual documented means that have used across the world for several decades. I do not own The 100 nor any of the characters (even though I really wish I did).

The look upon Dr. Wells' face as he spoke those words could only be described as deranged delight.

"Hmm," Wells pondered as he walked between the generator and the tray full of different surgical tools. Picking up a scalpel, the doctor twirled it around in his hand as he made his way back towards the chained Commander.

Clarke opened her mouth to protest the atrocity that was about to happen, but it seemed as if Lexa knew exactly what she was going to do and chose that moment to look over at the blonde with a single expression that made Clarke halt her tongue. Lexa looked at Clarke with both warning and pleading because she knew that if the Arker were to interfere with whatever this merciless scientist was going to do that his attention would be refocused on the blonde, and that was an unfathomable option. The Commander knew that she could withstand whatever physical torture that he had planned; she hoped that maybe, just maybe, if she held out long enough that the rest of the group would be able to find a way to escape.

Even if that meant her own life being consumed, it didn't matter as long as Clarke was as far away from here as possible.

The rest of the group was silent with their eyes locked on the events that were unfolding before them. They saw the exchange between the two young leaders and understood exactly what Lexa was trying to do; in that moment past indiscretions were pushed aside and the gears began to turn to create a plan. However, as the doctor came to a halt in front of the immobilized young woman, scalpel in hand and smile in place, they became transfixed on situation.

They wanted to look away, but as he raised the blade and lightly pressed it against the soft skin just under Lexa's navel, the events became a horrifically hypnotizing addiction.

Lexa's eyes watched as Benjamin Wells barely scraped the blade in mosaic patterns across her stomach, down her thighs, across her chest, and up her arms, "I've spent a great deal of my time studying your people, Commander, and I have to admit that there are certain aspects of your culture I appreciate. Culture holds such an important niche within our society, don't you agree?" he paused and looked at her, but she didn't reply simply met his gaze with an unimpressed air.

"Your people have become quite resourceful in the ways they decide to kill each other; barbaric, but innovative. And the undeniable loyalty they hold for you can be absolutely astounding, I bet you could ask your warriors to run around a mine field and they would without hesitation. But one of the things I find myself incredibly drawn too about the culture of the different clans is your use of tattoos," he walked around her, trailing the blade across her ribcage until he stopped at her back and began tracing the dark ink that covered it with more pressure, but not enough to break the skin; but just enough to draw her senses and receptors to the forefront, "They're stunning works of art that you've permanently painted across your body, and each with their own specific story. Tell me, Lexa, what do all of yours mean?"

Lexa refused to respond again and hearing her silence Dr. Wells moved around to her other side, the scalpel never leaving her skin, but when he reached the groove between her seventh and eighth ribs he dug in harder; streaks of blood followed the blade as he tore the layers of her flesh all the way until he hit the juncture of cartilage against her sternum.

Lexa felt the pain, but didn't even flinch as the sharpened edge opened her. Pain was something she had lived with all her life, something she had learned to become friendly with even. For every warrior was required to build up their tolerance for it; they had always been told that if you focus on your pain in battle then you're already dead.

"This isn't going to be any fun for you if you stay quiet." He said low and lilting as he leaned in closer to her. Lexa turned her head to look at him for a moment before a wicked smile played at her lips and she spat directly into his face.

Clarke watched in horror from her position on the floor as the doctor's temper broke.

Wells closed his eyes and slowly wiped the saliva off of his face. His breathing became nasal and heavy as he tried to keep calm from Lexa's insolent act, "My tattoos are marks of honor, I will _not_ disgrace them or my Clan by telling their stories to the likes of you, you sadistic bastard." Lexa's words dripped with defiant venom.

Eyes still closed and without hesitation Benjamin Wells struck the already injured triceps of the Commander, thrusting the scalpel into the healing wound and ripping it wide open. Lexa's jaw tightened and her teeth gritted as he tore through her muscle before it stilled in the angle where her arm met her shoulder.

"You don't want me to lose my temper again, Commander. This is a process and I refuse to deviate from it, but if you tempt me again I won't have a choice." he twisted the scalpel around before removing it and letting the thick crimson drops fall to the floor. Wells walked back over to the tray and wiped the bloody scalpel clean with a cloth before depositing it, all the while getting his temper back in check.

"But since it seems you're not in the mood to make polite conversation," he said as he removed a small tank canister connected to a welding torch from underneath the tray of instruments and began to fit one of the assorted receptors to it, "We'll do something that doesn't require talking on your part."

Lexa's eyes grew slightly wider as she watched the man before her place a set of dark goggles over his eyes and light the small metal torch. "I've always fancied myself to be a fairly decent artist," he continued as he adjusted the flame until it was a small and slender light blue cone, "Although I've never tried anything like this before."

His grin grew and Lexa's tried to hide the fear that was inching up from her core as he approached. She could feel the heat of the flames rising as he lowered the torch to the top of her bare left thigh. Clarke, however, could see past the brunette's façade and witnessed the fear for herself that was trembling beneath as the flames closed in and felt her own resolve to do as Lexa wanted, and focus on finding a way out, begin to slowly break down; she couldn’t sit idly by and watch the woman who had completely stolen her heart be tortured.

"Any requests?" Wells said tilting his head to one side, but Lexa wasn't looking at him. She had her eyes fixated on the camera in the corner of the room; she wasn't going to look away from that camera, she was going to memorize every part of it and give it her full attention. She gritted her teeth together even tighter and inhaled sharply as the tiny blue inferno touched her skin.

The pain was excruciating, it was some of the worst she had ever experienced, but her eyes never left the camera as the doctor began to slowly move the torch through the lines of an intricate design. The pain intensified with every stroke of the tool and Lexa felt her body begin to sweat, her breathing became heavy and staggered, and her head was starting to feel incredibly light.

"This is actually quite a lot easier than I thought. Fire can be such a wild thing, but when its controlled like this its precision can be unmatched," Wells said as fed the flame a bit more oxygen, causing the slender cone to grow and Lexa to bite down on the inside of her mouth until she tasted her own blood, "Your mother and father were killed in a fire were they not? Such a travesty; they had the makings to be greats in their own rights and luckily you got the best genetics of the both of them."

The stench of smoke and burning flesh filled the room, causing the eyes of the other prisoners to water. He continued working and working with the torch against her skin and eventually through the escalating pain, Lexa lost focus on the camera and slammed her eyes shut. She felt her mind reaching for memories, drawing joyous occasions up from their resting places but Lexa forced herself to stop. _He will not break you, so don't give him your memories,_ she thought, _pain is not your enemy. Pain is not your enemy._

_It is your friend._

The moment Lexa's eyes shut and the pain was visibly beginning to be readable on her face, Clarke's resolve broke, "Stop!" she cried and began to struggle against her chains, "You’re a fucking dead man, you son of a bitch! What the hell gives you the right to do this to a person?"

Her shouts didn't seem to have the desired effect on the doctor who continued working on his canvas, "Would someone muzzle her?" he finally said with annoyance. At his command, Myra walked forward and grabbed one of the cloths from the tray before striding over to Clarke. But as the soldier tried to stuff the fabric into her mouth, Clarke began to fight her, thrashing her head from side to side and as her anger towards the doctor grew and grew as she spewed more profanities and threats to him.

Clarke's rage seemed to spur her friends who began to fight their own bindings creating a lick of chaos in the stone room causing Emerson and the other guards to try and stop the prisoners already failing revolt. Myra was getting increasingly annoyed by the second at the defiant Clarke and finally closed her fist and punched the young leader in the jaw causing the blonde's lip to break open and blood to mix into her mouth, but instead of stopping her fight Clarke spat the bloody saliva into the woman's face.

"Clarke no!" Lexa's voice rang out and Clarke's attention was immediately grabbed by it and so were the rest of the youth who stopped their fighting. Lexa met Clarke's eyes with fear for not herself but for the woman who wanted to protect her.

Ignoring the sudden silence Myra reached for one of her daggers, but was stopped short by Dr. Wells who, amidst the chaos, had stopped his work and was now standing over the blonde with the still lit torch firmly in his grasp.

Dr. Wells knelt down in front of her and held the torch out towards her cheek so that the heat began to caress her face, "It will be your turn soon enough, Clarke, but if it will settle your nerves I promise I'm not going to kill her. I will suggest, however, that you stop your _interruptions_ , unless you want any more of your friends to end up like the scrawny one you so valiantly tried and failed to save." he moved the flame slightly forward and singed a golden lock, "And I really would hate to damage this pretty face of yours."

Taking the cloth from Myra, Benjamin forced the fabric into Clarke's mouth then moved back to the Commander whose glare rivaled the sun with its intensity. Looking down at her bloodied and seared thigh he said, "We're almost done and I think it's coming along quite nicely," before he set back to work on her leg.

Lexa could feel Clarke's eyes on her, but couldn't bring herself to meet them. The last thing she needed was to see the hurt and horror that she knew was painted across the girl's face.

A few minutes later the doctor switched off the torch and removed his goggles. Wiping the sweat from his brow he smiled up at Lexa whose gaze hadn't lost any of its intensity. Red tinged sweat was dripping off of her body and the lights above her made the work he was so proud of look even more gruesome. Lexa refused to look down at what he had permanently done to her body, but Clarke and the rest of them saw the intricately done long stemmed, thorny rose that rained blood down her leg and onto the floor.

"I think I'll let Myra take over for a bit," he said as he stood up, "judging by how the first trial ended it seems as if she has some unfinished business with you." The doctor turned his head towards Myra who was still standing watchfully by Clarke. "Have a good time, but don't kill her." he directed towards her as a devious smile graced her face and he turned back to look the Commander up and down, "and have her cleaned up when you're done, we don't want an infection to take hold."

As he walked out of the room, followed by Emerson; Myra stepped forward and cracked her knuckles. For a moment there was a challenging, silent stare between the former Azgeda and the Trigedakru leader, and then Myra exploded with all of her superhuman force.

Clarke watched as Lexa's head was snapped side to side with each rotating punch, she heard the crack of bone as Myra localized her kicks to Lexa's ribs, she even felt a few droplets of blood that had been launched from Lexa's lips with one of the devastating blows, land on her bare leg,  but she never heard Lexa voice.

She felt so useless; so hopeless as she watched. She had tried to escape from her cuffs, but the bands were too thick to pull her hands through and were so tight that she felt the skin of her wrists becoming so raw that it was breaking.

She waited and watched for the Commander to make some sort of eye contact, but she never did. And by the time Myra had gotten her fill and left, Lexa's face was covered in blood and dark bruises were starting to from across her torso. As Myra and the other guards were walking out of the door with the tray and generator, Emerson entered with a man of about the same as he who began to clean Lexa's wounds to prevent infection but did not bandage them; she was nearly unconscious from the beating the she hardly felt anything.

The room was still when they left, the sole noise being the hum of the lights. After a few minutes of trying, Clarke was able to spit the now blood soaked rag from her mouth, "Lexa?" she said, her voice rough and hoarse from the fabric.

The Commander didn't respond, but Clarke could see her eyes were open and were focused directly on the floor. "Lexa." she said a little louder, but the Commander refused to look at her still.

"Lexa!" the blonde's voice cracked on the word and Lexa's eyes shut.

\----------

Clarke wasn't sure how many days had past, but she was certain they did. The conversing of strategy or talk of simple distracting subjects settled when they weren't enveloped in silence and thought, but Clarke hardly spoke. Sleep had come in spurts of exhaustion to the group, but it seemed like when they finally had drifted off into whatever dreamless void their minds took them too they were awoken by Dr. Wells' arrival.

Six times he walked through the door to the room and six times the torture of Commander Lexa continued; all the while, Clarke and the others were helpless to stop him. Each time, however, he would ramble on about something and try to make conversation with her, but the Commander stayed silent and stoic in her pain. With every session, he would use a different tool; a whip, a chain, and blades in an assortment of shapes and sizes.

And every time when he left Clarke would call out to the unbroken woman, and every time she still got silence.

Every once in a while the man who cleaned Lexa's wounds would return and give them all drinks of water and another, rather disgusting, liquid that he said would give them everything that food would, "Dr. Wells wants to make sure that all of you are healthy and maintained." He would say as he stopped at each of them. This man wasn't a Grounder from any Clan; in fact he reminded her more of the people who had lived in Mount Weather with his paled skin and dull brown hair.

On one occasion, it had been what seemed like a very long time since the last session, a strange noise roused everyone from their exhaustion. It sounded like grinding metal and as the noise grew Clarke turned her head and realized that the sound was coming from the wall behind her, more specifically from the metal plate that held her chains in place. Clarke's eyes widened as she felt the tension tight chains begin to slacken; experimenting she pulled her wrists.

The chains came with her and length after length they gave her more room to move. She looked around to see the shock and confusion on her friend's faces. Once she had enough chain she immediately tried to release her wrists, but the cuffs weren't budging so she crawled to where Bellamy was still bound and attempted to loosen the plate behind him but again nothing would budge.

"Clarke." The young man said; once he had her attention he nodded behind her. Clarke looked back and her heart leapt in her chest. Testing the chains again she used the wall to brace herself as she stood up. Her unused muscles sent shooting pains through her legs and her joints cracked and popped with each movement. Once she had steadied her balance, however, Clarke took long strides and closed the distance until she was standing face to face with Lexa.

Lexa's eyes were still closed, but Clarke knew that she was awake. She lifted her hand and stretched herself to try and reach the chain that bound the brunette to the metal hook, but her own metallic bindings snapped with tension halfway up, so Clarke gently rested her hands upon the Commander's face.

At the touch Clarke felt the brunette take a sharp inhalation, but shut her eyes even tighter and began to shake her head from side to side. "Lexa." Clarke whispered and the Commander continued to shake her head with what little strength she had, but the blonde's hands never left her face, "Lexa, please, open your eyes."

Lexa stilled her movements, "Hodnes laik kwelnes," she finally whispered, "it has to be, for now. I won't let him break me. I will not let him have you."

The Commander lowered her head even more, "He's letting you do this. He's trying to get me to unbury my memories, to let my love show so he can shatter it. He'll break me if that happens so please find a way out and get the others to-"

Lexa's words were cut off when Clarke raised her chin with a thumb and gently pressed their lips together. She didn't care who was in the room with them or was watching on the camera feed as she kissed the leader before her, firmly but gently. When the kiss finally broke Clarke pulled her head back, but kept her thumb against Lexa's chin to hold the Commander's head level.

"I'm not leaving you behind so get that ridiculous idea out of your head." Clarke spoke, forcing Lexa to look at her, "We are not going to become pawns in his power game. He is not going to break you, and we are going to make him pay for everything he has done."

"Clarke, you need to get yourself and the others out of here." Lexa said with more strength in her voice, "If I die a new Commander will take my place and if you get out of here then you can destroy him and this place for good with the entire army. He needs to be stopped no matter the cost and I would much rather my death be the last one he ever takes. So, please-"

"I'm not leaving you here to die! That's not an option, Lexa." Clarke broke in stubbornly moving her hands so they both her were cupping the Commander's cheeks, as the rest of the group watched on.

"Damn it, Clarke!" Lexa said, now with her full voice, "Why do you always have to be so stubborn about everything? This is not the time"--

"Because I love you."

\--"Save yourself a-" Lexa cut herself off when she registered the words that the blonde spoke.

"Ai hod yu in." Clarke repeated softly in Trigedasleng, "I'm not leaving you here, because I can't live without you."

Lexa couldn't find her words as she stared into the glistening blue pools before her.

"And honestly you really don't have a choice in the matter. I've already lost you once and I'm not doing it again."

Lexa felt the four words on the tip of her tongue, but before she had a chance to reply the door to the room opened and as soon as it did the rapid clinking of metal drew their attention as Clarke was ripped away from her and pulled back to space on the floor. The chains locked into their original tautness with a thud and the young leader was once again trapped from stopping the atrocity that was going to happen.

The sound of clapping echoed through the room as Dr. Wells, followed by his four companions entered, "That was very touching, honestly. I'm so glad I allowed that reunion; things were getting a bit boring in these sessions of our Commander. Hopefully now you'll be a bit more invigorated."

Lexa's solid exterior walls were immediately put up with his arrival, but she spared one last look at Clarke before refocusing on whatever hell he was about to unleash. This time, however, the only thing that was wheeled into the room was the generator that had yet to be used.

Dr. Wells stepped up to the Commander and inspected the wounds that he had created upon her before turning back and brining the generator into the center of the room, "Your threshold for pain has proved to be quite a bit higher than I anticipated," he began as he removed several wired electrodes from slot on the machine. "But even with all of the failures, I like to think about it as a puzzle and trying to find the right piece to solve it."

Dr. Wells began to attach the white, circular nodes to Lexa's body; placing one on each palm, on the underside of each foot, on the back of her knees, on each side of her already injured ribs, on each of her hips, the inside of each upper thigh, one under her navel that slid just beneath the top of her underwear, and one In the center of her abdomen.

A perverse smile grew on his face as he moved his hand underneath the fabric that held her breasts and placed one directly on each nipple.

"I've read about this technique several times," he said as he placed the final two nodes on her temples, "This isn't an exact replica, but it will do for these purposes. I've always wanted to try it, but I've never gotten a chance; everyone else has broken with what you've experienced so far."

The doctor walked back to the generator and rotated the dials before flipping a switch that turned it on. Lexa felt a low vibration start running through her body, but it didn't hurt and when her body started to traitorously react to it she knew he was simply getting her to become hypersensitive so that when he was ready the pain would be even more intense than before.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, "This plan of yours is to what? Create the perfect population of humans with you leading them? You won't live long enough to see that day."

"Your right," he said as he stepped up to her with his hands clasped behind his back. "I won't live to see my dreams come into reality, but that's not my goal. I know I only have a lifetime to do what I need too , but I'm simply trying to give a jumpstart to evolution. Then natural selection will take its course and create the race we could always be."

"What makes you think you can force nature?" Lexa said, her voice becoming breathy as her body continued to become more and more sensitive.

"Science can do more than you could ever imagine, Commander. But, you see, I'm not the first to try this." he started to circle around her as he talked, "My grandfather started all of this. He was a young man working as a biochemist for the United States government when the war broke out. He worked in this very facility, developing biological weaponry and ways to try and enhance the soldiers that were giving their lives for a country that had become distraught with power and pride. When countries started firing nuclear weapons at each other he and the rest of his colleagues brought their families down into the bunker for protection and thus survived the destruction of everything above ground."

Dr. Wells walked back over to the generator and moved the dials again until the vibrations through her body grew to be prickling sensations, "He had a dream to rebuild society in the way it should've been, without all of the corruption, the war, the greed, the poverty, and the singular powers who killed on whim for their own personal gain in wealth. So he began experimenting. He taught my father and they both taught me everything I know. My grandfather died when I was young and I promised him that I would continue on with his work; and I have, I've made it better and I finally have a chance to give the human race a fresh start."

"Some of our colleagues, however, didn't understand what we were trying to do. They thought like those fools in Mount Weather, that's why my grandfather cut communications off with them early. They were focused on the short term and not the larger picture that was in play, and there was no room in the utopia he was creating for the selfish acts of small mindedness.  So he did what had to be done."

He stepped back up to her, "You know all about that don't you, Commander, doing what needs to be done for the survival of not just a few, but for the best and many to get to the future. To rebuild, to thrive you need to start at the most basic level. Genes. That's why I need you, I need your genetic code and the sooner you become willing to accept and participate in the restoration of the future the sooner this will stop."

With the last word he twisted the dial further and the prickling vibrations became full electric currents racing through her hypersensitive body. Every nerve ending, pain receptor, muscle, and bone were on fire within her but she refused to scream against the pain. It lasted for what seemed like a very long time, but in fact it only lasted for a few seconds. "I will make you scream, Lexa." he said as he removed some clips attached to cables from the generator and attached them to the chains that held her wrists and ankles.

"Your chains are made out of a silver composite. Do you know silver does, Commander," he didn't wait for a response, "It's an incredibly useful conductor of both electricity and heat and should add a bit more to your experience here."

With the clips firmly in place the doctor turned the dial of the generator off and on again and again;  the agonizing pain radiated through her body for but a few more seconds. She could feel her muscles contracting involuntarily, freezing at certain points before releasing their tension. It was nearly impossible to breathe, but still she did not scream.

When he stopped the electroshocks, Lexa's entire body twitched and trembled with painful aftershocks. "What do you say, Commander?"

Lexa met his gaze with a glare of her own and growled a breathless, "Fuck you."

Another smug smile graced his face as he turned the dial even higher and let it last a little longer before stopping it; Lexa could feel her heartbeat becoming scattered and erratic. He stepped up closer to her, "I will do this as long as I have too until you are broken."

"You will never break me." She said with a smile of her own.

"We'll see about that."

As the shocks grew in intensity and timespan, Lexa could feel the silver around her wrists and ankles begin to burn her flesh. Her entire body was heating up and she was losing control of her muscles, but her glower never left him.

"I will give you credit for your determination and resilience, Lexa, but let's see how much you can actually take."

The doctor adjusted the generator once more before turning a dial and sending a massive electric current coursing through her body and with it she lost all control.

The scream that escaped her throat was bloodcurdling, but it only lasted a moment before it suddenly stopped and her entire body went slack and deathly quiet.

"Lexa!" Clarke screamed as the Commander's body went limp while the blonde was ferociously fighting the chains that held her in place.

Dr. Wells gave a frustrated sigh and turned the machine off before motioning to Emerson who gave him a large syringe. With a few strides he was in front of her and pushed her head back to expose her chest before sticking the syringe directly into her heart and pumping it with adrenaline.

Within a moment, Lexa was heaving a large breath and coughing roughly as her body came back to life. "Welcome back, Commander," Wells said with a satisfied smirk settling on his lips, "I told you I would make you scream."

Lexa's eyes were dilated with the drug that filled her veins, but not even death would break her into submission, "I wouldn't celebrate too soon, you haven't broken me yet."

The smirk evaporated from his face at her words and a dark expression replaced it. "I didn't want to do this, Lexa. I wanted this to be your reward for your compliance, but with the revelation of your relationship with Ms. Griffin, I feel as if this might be the piece I've been looking for."

He turned and gave a nod to Myra who swiftly left with a turn of her heel.

When the door opened next and Myra returned she was not alone. The young woman who had tended to Clarke before the trial began was following her. The woman's hair was now down and feathered around her face in black silky waves and the blue rim of her grey-green eyes seemed even brighter in the light of the room. She was wearing a light colored tank top that showed the rest of the tattoo Clarke had glimpsed before. Looking at it in its entirety, Clarke realized it looked very similar to the one that Lexa wore on her own biceps.

Clarke looked over to Lexa then and she froze as she watched all of the layered walls and masks that Lexa had in place shatter into millions of pieces with one broken whisper.

"Costia?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with me through this dark and twisting ride. I do apologize for any and all confusion from the previous chapter regarding the reasons behind the torture scenes and I do hopefully explain those reasons fully in this chapter. But if you do still have any questions regarding it or anything else that happen within the story please comment and I will answer all of them (as long as they don't include spoilers as to the fate of the characters.)
> 
> Also I may not be posting an update on Sunday as usual due to some family issues that I need to take care of, but I will update as soon as I can.

Lexa couldn't believe what was before her eyes, "This isn't possible. You're dead! The Ice Nation's Queen s-she cut off your-! I lit the torch on your pyre and watched you burn." Lexa voice grew softer as she finished the disbelief still rattling her features.

"Did you ever see her face, Commander?" Dr. Wells asked and Lexa forced her eyes away from the ghost to look at him. "Her body and head were sent to her parents, not you. So tell me did you ever see the face before you set it ablaze?"

"I-" Lexa looked through her memory of that day. The day she went back to the village for Costia's death ceremony, everything had been a blur; but as she searched she realized, "the body was already wrapped and prepared for the ceremony." She muttered her eyes not making contact with anything as she tried to wrap her mind around this new information.

_I never saw her face. They told me it was her, but I never-_ , Lexa looked up and at Costia who hadn't spoken a word since entering.

The doctor stepped up beside the Commander, "Do you really think Emerson was my only spy?" he said against the shell of her ear. "I have spies everywhere, people who worked for my grandfather that joined the different Clans when they were still new and unorganized; generations embedded so deeply within the twelve Clans who are all loyal to me. How do you think I know so much?"

She could feel his grin on her ear as he leaned closer and whispered, "I have more followers than you can imagine."

Stepping away from the chained brunette, Benjamin Wells walked over to Costia and put an arm around her shoulder. "Costia's family has always been unquestionably loyal to my predecessors and I since the beginning, but she," he turned his head to look at her but her eyes remained impassive and silent, "she was one of the greatest spies I had. Luckily my other followers within the Ice Nation informed me of the unfortunate situation with Myra's younger and lesser sister and I couldn't lose such a valuable asset so I had her death faked and she was brought here."

"No," Lexa said, her voice barely audible.

"Oh yes," he walked back towards her and grabbed her cheeks with his hand to force her eyes to him, "her entire life has been devoted to my cause. Including her greatest mission," his eyes flicked with wicked satisfaction, "You."

The air in the room seemed to tangibly get cooler as Lexa's face paled and her eyes refocused on her former lover's face, but Costia didn't even seem to acknowledge her presence.

Raven, Octavia, Monty, and Bellamy all had the same variation of silent confusion on their faces. They didn't know about Costia or her ties to the Commander, but Clarke and Lincoln's expressions held something far different. Along with mutual shock, both the Grounder and the Arker were looking between the two women, their minds racing as to what this meant.

"Mr. Emerson." The doctor said as he turned away from the Commander, "I believe the Commander would like to have a private word with Costia."

"Of course." Emerson replied and motioned towards the man with the sunken face who walked over and roughly yanked the nodes off of Lexa's skin and unhooked the chains that held the Commander's ankles and wrists. Lexa's body was physically drained and utterly useless from the electricity that had been pumped through it and when she was released and fell atop the man's shoulder the energy to fight was nowhere to be found.

Emerson and Costia exited the room first and before the behemoth of a man took Lexa from their cell, the Commander looked back to Clarke whose expression whose expression had changed from her bewilderment and was as chaotic as it was unreadable.

When the door was shut behind them, Dr. Wells turned back to the rest of the group. "Well as that little reunion is going on, I don't see why we can't continue moving things along in here." He looked around the room before settling his gaze on Clarke, "Let's see if you can match the Commander, Miss Griffin."

At her name, Myra walked forward with the other behemoth who used his large knee and pushed her down onto her stomach as the chains were loosened. Clarke initially began to try and escape as Myra released the cuffs from her wrists, but with the amount of weight that rested on her back and the firm grip of giant hands on her arms it was virtually impossible to do so.

She was only able to relish in the sensation of freedom on her wrists for a brief moment before the man quickly adjusted and pressed her raw carpels together with one hand and pulling her up until her feet dangled and his other monstrous arm wrapped around her knees. It was easier to try and struggle in this position, but it was just as ineffective.

As Myra began locking her ankles into the chains that just held the Commander the doctor began to walk around the room, stopping in front of each of her companions to seemingly analyze their physical traits. As he passed Lincoln and Bellamy, who had tried to lunge forward against their restraints, he crossed the room and crouched in front of Monty.

"Hm, what to do with you?" Dr. Wells pondered as Monty instinctively moved further against the wall. "I'm starting to think I should've kept the other one alive that one was less… _fidgety_." The doctor sighed, "Myra, what do you think would be best for this one?"

Myra, who had just escaped an elbow to the face by a struggling Clarke as she chained her wrist, replied with an annoyed bite to her voice, "Target practice."

The doctor chuckled, "Oh, darling, he'd be far too slow for you, it wouldn't be worth it." He said as he stood up, "I don't believe I got everything I needed from the young red-headed girl. Have this one prepped for the same procedure when I'm done with this session." Myra didn't respond as she pulled Clarke's chains tighter than necessary.

After giving Monty another once over and sparing a few moments to analyze Octavia and Raven, the Doctor turned his sights back to Clarke.

Clarke's glower followed every move she could see as he circled around her. "So, tell me Clarke," he began as he came back around her front, "What do you think of all this?" he opened his arms and gestured around.

Clarke scoffed, "You seriously want my opinion? I think you're deranged. You call the Grounder's barbaric, but how is what you're doing any different? You're torturing people because you think its fun and you have a biased purpose."

He raised an inquiring eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

"Why don't you just take some more samples of our DNA for your experiments and kill us? Or let us go, for that matter?" Clarke questioned as her eyes flicked over to the generator, "Why torture us at all?"

Dr. Wells laughed brightly, "Silly girl, you're still thinking in such a small scope. I need your DNA, yes, but it's so much more that. You see, it's not just _your_ genes that I'm going to modify; it's your children's."

Clarke was taken aback by the revelation, _my children?_

The doctor seemed to notice the confusion on her face so he continued, "My grandfather's plan was to rebuild the population as naturally as possible, and even though I could use a form of gene splicing and modifications to essentially create the future in a test tube, doing that doesn’t guarantee that natural selection will takes its true course. The samples I've taken from you have simply been to see what genes are dominant and to test their compatibility with your peers and others that I have selected to be genetically superior. And I have to say, Clarke, that your and Mr. Blake's genes are quite compatible on the cellular level."

He stepped up closer to her and met her eyes with a  steady gaze, "As for the torture, well as much as I do enjoy it, it's necessary because at this point you won't willingly participate in creating an offspring and any avoidable stressors could harm the fetus. But once I gain control over you during the breaking process then you will be more than just compliant with my goals, you will be happily agreeable."

He stepped away from her then and over to a panel just beside the door. After opening the panel and punching in a key code, the wall where he stood began to open up and a monitor emerged from its hiding space, "Before we begin, however, I think we both would like to see this reunion." He looked back at her with a smirk before pulling up a video stream.

Lexa was being deposited on the floor of room that looked similar to their own, but it held a small table with a chair on either side in the middle of it. Emerson looked at the camera before leading the other man out of the room.

The door was sealed with a small click.

Costia simply took a seat at the table as Lexa regained the strength in her body to slowly stand up; her eyes never leaving the girl who simply sat idly by. There was a great silence on both sides of the camera feed until the Commander finally broke it.

"Is it true?" Lexa's voice was restrained and the question came out as more a flat statement. A few moments past, but Costia didn't respond as she continued to sit primly in her chair with her hands folded together on top of the table. The silence caused Lexa's restraint to falter, "Is. It. True!" she punctuated the last word with a bang of her fist on the metal table, but the outburst didn't bode well for her recovering strength and she was forced to find a steady balance.

But none of that mattered, because the woman who sat in front of her, who hadn't even acknowledged her presence should be dead. She had given Costia her heart, her soul, her physical being, her entire life, and when the woman's supposed ashes were released into the sky and traveled to the stars a part of Lexa hadn't returned.

Lexa's arms were trembling as she held onto the table and eventually she sank into the chair opposite the raven haired ghost. "Do you really not have anything to say to me?" Lexa soft and broken, but still held a tinge of the anger and confusion that was swirling around within her like an uncontrolled inferno trapped in a box that was just waiting to be either released or extinguished.

"What would I have to say to you, Commander?"

Costia's voice cut through Lexa's thoughts like a scythe and as soon as the husky sound hit her eardrums every memory of her former love that the Commander had locked away within the deepest cavern of her subconscious burst forward and assaulted her memory.

But when the words that were spoken broke through and were finally registered the Commander snapped her head around and was met with a steady, impassive gaze of eyes that reminded her of a past she now entirely questioned.

"What would you have to say?" Lexa snapped every inch of her being that was the Commander of the Twelve Clans was gone now and all that was left was young girl who heart had been shattered and was slowly being put back together, "Oh, I don't know. Tell me what the hell happened. Tell me that what that psychotic bastard said isn't true, that you're not a spy! That you never were and that-"

Lexa stood up and held onto the chair to balance her still wobbly legs. Taking a deep breath to try and calm the mass of emotions that was erupting from every inch of her, Lexa focused on the white coloring that her knuckles were taking as she gripped the chair.

Costia unfolded her hands and sat back in her chair and began speaking in a voice so nonchalant and nearly monotone; it was completely unlike the energy of the girl Lexa had known and loved, "I had a mission, Commander, my family had a mission from the beginning and when we reported that you had taken an interest in me and who your parents were I was tasked to get close to you to get information. When you were chosen as Commander, by that time, I was in the perfect position to send and receive information through the channels. Unfortunately, things when awry and my mission ended."

Lexa was staring at her, mouth agape, in complete bewilderment. She wanted to shake her, she wanted to strangle her, and she wanted to murder the man who was responsible for this. "What in the world did he do to you to make you like this?" Lexa asked, her grip never loosening from the chair, "You _cannot_ tell me that everything that happened between us was just an act. I know you loved me just as much as I loved you, but somehow he's broken you." As she continued her voice turned low and almost sad, "Somehow, someway, he's manipulated you into thinking this way."

"Dr. Wells wants what's best." Costia interrupted, her voice showing slightly more emotion, "He's not manipulating me, he simply guided me back on the right path for what will help our goals come to fruition."

Lexa closed her eyes and shook her head, releasing her grip on the chair and turning her back on the woman she thought she knew. Walking over to the wall, Lexa rested her sweat stained forehead against the cool surface.

_No, no, no, no, no, no._ The word shot her thoughts over and over again as she tried to process this. _It couldn't have all been a lie_.

Meanwhile, back in the cell, Dr. Wells had a truly ecstatic look on his face as he turned away from the monitor that had enraptured the entire room. "Excellent!" he clapped his hands to emphasize the word, "It looks like your fair Commander is reaching her breaking point. It's interesting in how a single person can completely shatter or build another."

Clarke's eyes hadn't left the monitor that still showed Lexa leaning against the wall. She wondered if he would be right, if this revelation of life would indeed be enough to break Lexa. As much as the blonde hoped it wouldn't, she knew what Costia had meant to the woman she loved. She didn't know the entirety of their history but she knew enough to know that as much as she knew Lexa cared for her, that she never truly would hold the brunette's completed heart.

If she were ever asked, Clarke would deny that a tinge of jealousy ran up her spine at the thought.

"Now, as that continues, I think that we can move on with you as well." Dr. Wells walked over to Myra and drew one of her daggers out of her sheath which got him a glare and indignant snort.

"You'll use my weapon, but you won't even let me wield it?"

"You'll get your chance, don't worry." He quipped over his shoulder, "I would like to keep her alive."

Myra folded her arms across her chest and leaned against the wall beside her as Wells stepped back up to Clarke, twirling the blade around his finger, "I really hope you'll be more talkative than your companion, Clarke. It's far better for the both of us."

The young Arker refocused her gaze from the monitor to the doctor, "Like I'd give you that satisfaction."

The doctor sighed mockingly and stopped twirling the blade so he could raise it to rest just under her chin and held it there for a moment before lowering the tip of the blade and running it deeply along the line of Clarke's clavicle, "Very well, then."


	16. Chapter 16

Clarke gritted her teeth when the blade drew blood as it edged along her collarbone. Dr. Wells started speaking as he continued to drag the dagger until he reached the dip at the hollow of her throat. "Tell me, Clarke. How much of the old world were you taught up on the Ark?" his eyes trailed the lines of crimson that fell from the wound.

Clarke didn't respond but let out a long breath that she had been holding when he pulled the tip the blade out of her flesh only to inhale sharply when, at her insolent silence, stabbed the soft flesh on the back of her upper right thigh. Clarke shut her eyes and her nostrils flared with each breath as the doctor twisted the knife. "Oh, Clarke, you saw what happened to the Commander because of her silence. Do you really want me to do that to you as well?"

Removing the knife, Wells wiped the blood across the front of Clarke's thigh to clean it before starting to twirl it around his finger again. She could feel the warm, sticky fluid streak down her leg, contrasting the coolness of the room around her. Clarke opened her eyes and without any preamble they rested on the monitor that still held the image of the brunette who had been exactly where she now was only a short time ago.

Lexa had begun to pace by this point, her head hanging low and arms crossed over chest in thought. Her muscles were coming back to her and thus shot pain throughout her body with each step she took while the burned rose that covered her thigh that was starting to heal continued to crack back open, but that didn't stop her tight and anxious movements.

To Clarke, Lexa looked like a caged tiger that had just been caught from the wild. The events of everything that had happened were weighing on her building up inside; and it was completely visible on her face. Clarke knew that eventually the animal would be released and the only person there to take the blows was the other woman in the room with her.

_How could she have done something like that to Lexa?_ Clarke felt her anger rise at the sitting woman on the screen.

The scientist brought the Arker's attention back when he whispered in her ear, "Is that a hint of jealousy I spy, Clarke?" he chuckled and turned his head so that they were ear to ear, both watching the once stoic Commander slowly unravel and the passive yet mysterious woman who hadn't left her chair.

"They do make a beautiful couple don't they? When I assigned Costia the mission of getting close to the then young warrior I had no idea how wonderfully it would turn out." Clarke could feel the smile form on his face as he watched the screen, "And judging from the Commander's current state, it seems that those feelings she held weren't as buried as one would've thought. Love is such a weakness to her, but that's what I'm counting on. Your relationship might not have to end though depending on those pesky feelings of hers. None of that will matter once we begin the phase, however, between Lexa's abundance of natural gifts and my intelligence and excellent genetics the future will be given its chance at leadership."

The smile that Clarke could feel on her cheek slowly turned into a malicious smirk, "But tell me Clarke, have you ever experienced the Commander in bed? How is she?" his voice lowered as he eyes honed in on the screen, "I bet she's a fantastic lover."

The young Arker knew she shouldn't do it. They had seen the temper and the sadistic cruelty that this man was capable of, but she couldn't help herself.

With a swift twist of her head, Clarke grabbed onto the shell of the scientist's ear with her teeth, digging into the cartilage with her canines then snapped her head back to the opposite side and tore.

The taste of blood spilled over her tongue and a pained, enraged cry with the subtle notes of cracking cartilage engulfed her own ears. Dr. Wells stumbled back, his hand immediately going to the side of his face as blood poured down his neck and onto his shirt. Clarke turned back to look at him and spat the piece of flesh onto the stone floor in front of him. As soon as she did, however, her neck was ripped back by a hand in her hair as Myra held her other dagger to the blonde's throat.

The pain filled, frustrated groans quickly turned vengeful as Wells turned his attention back to Clarke. She wouldn't lie that a pang of fear ran up her spine at the sight of him, with blood covering the left side of his face and nearly the top half of his ear missing, combined with the pure fury across his features as he whirled on her.

"You irritating little bitch!" he growled, "You're going to pay for that!"

A smile of her own formed across Clarke's bloodied mouth and Myra tightened her grip on blonde hair continuing to pull back. The doctor stomped forward and punched Clarke directly in the nose then gripped her face with his blood stained hand, "Clearly you didn't learn from last time, disappointment has consequences."

Myra released her handful of Clarke's hair when the injured doctor turned away and picked the piece of torn flesh up from the floor, "I'll have her taken care of for now." the woman said as she placed a hand on the scientists arm and led him out of the room. As they left, the warrior looked over her shoulder at the remaining guard seemingly giving him a nonverbal signal. The man nodded his head that was covered in protrusions and when the door clicked closed behind him he silently approached the chained blonde Arker.

With a gruesome upturn of his lips the giant propped back his elbow before launching his massive fist directly into Clarke's gut. The chains rocked with the impact and Clarke felt all of air escape her lungs and she could've sworn she heard the sounds of bone cracking and breaking as he continued to power his fists across her body.

Her vision began spinning as the beating continued and her ears became muffled with the occasional blow to her head, though she could still make out the cries from her friends to get the monster's attention.

She was wavering in and out of consciousness when the door to the room finally opened again and Myra along with the other massive Neanderthal looking man and a few other guards entered. Silently the guards dispersed around the room a few going to each of the chained people while Myra took over Clarke's beating, "I'm going to enjoy this." she said as she pulled out one of her daggers and sliced into Clarke's already bruising torso.

She could barely see what was going on in the room by this point, but the struggles of her friends could be heard as they were unlocked from their chains only to be restrained by the guards and dragged out of the room. In her haze Clarke managed to ask, "What are you doing with them?"

Myra simply laughed, "Because of your outburst, Ben thought it would be best for you to know that he plans on making your friends suffer. His patience is wearing thin with you so instead of taking more time and practical methods to gain control over the rest of the group he's planning on using some hopefully quicker ways. He might lose some of them in the process but that's a risk he's willing to take."

Myra began carving a half circle into Clarke's shoulder, "As for you, well, as soon as your Commander has finished her reunion he has something very special planned." Clarke felt her alertness waver again as another blast of pain echoed through her body when Myra started cutting through different parts of her before her consciousness was completely lost.

\--------

Lexa hadn't stopped her pacing despite the angry resistance coming from her legs and the rest of her tortured body. The irrational, overly emotionally driven part of her mind had completely taken over and she was questioning everything. She was going through every memory she had of raven-haired woman who sat in front of her, trying to discern if any of it was real or if there were signs that something wasn't right that she was just too naïve to notice.

She was losing her bearings, and even though she knew that this was exactly what Benjamin Wells wanted it was becoming harder and harder to want to fight. Costia was alive and Lexa simply didn't know how to deal with it.

As her pacing continued a memory came back to her that was different from the rest. The day that she had told Clarke about Costia:

_"I thought I'd never get over the pain, but I did."_

_"How?"_

_"By recognizing for what it is…weakness."_

_"What is? Love?"_

The memory passed through her mind and stopped her pacing. She had changed so much because of an event that never actually happened. She had become cold and detached to everyone around her because her best friend, her lover, her confidant, her conscience, heart, and soul had been ripped away from her and killed. Secrets that she had entrusted, fears that she had shared, and love she had given vanished.

But none of it was real. It was just a mission.

_No,_ her mind commanded, _it couldn't have been a lie_.

Her mind chose that moment to focus on something that it knew for a fact wasn't a lie, Clarke.

Lexa closed her eyes; she wondered what he was doing to the blonde, if she was strung up and being tortured as well. The thought brought a surge of anger forward but it was quickly dominated by something else. No matter what's happened or what will happen here things between her and the young leader would never be the same. Though her feelings for Clarke were undeniably strong a part of her now was searching for possibility of Costia coming back to her.

Things were becoming increasingly overwhelming and Lexa felt herself begin to become torn between the woman who was first love and whom she hoped was still there somewhere, buried underneath whatever monster Dr. Wells had created and the woman who was putting her heart back together and showing her that love doesn't have to be weakness.

Right now, though, was not the time to think about that because more than anything at this point she wanted answers.

Movement in the room drew Lexa's attention away from her conflicting thoughts. Costia had risen from her chair and was walking towards the door. For some reason the act of this woman turning her back and walking away spurred something in Lexa that she couldn't define.

Before Costia had a chance to make it to the door, Lexa had crossed the room and grabbed her wrist, spinning the young woman around but Costia was faster and not plagued by fatigue and injury. At the sudden contact the green-grey eyed girl reacted on instinct and twisted Lexa's own wrist before shoving her to the floor. Planting her knee in the brunette's chest Costia had a blade at the ready in an instant. With the tip of the metal placed against her throat and her back firmly on the ground, Lexa saw the first flicker of actual emotion pass over Costia's features.

But the surge of the movement caused a sudden small spike of adrenaline in the Commander who wasn't going to be pinned that easily. Gripping Costia's wrist that was holding the knife with one hand and the other reaching around her ankle, Lexa maneuvered and swung Costia off her reversing their positions and tossing the blade away to a place she wasn't focusing on.

Costia could feel the weakness in Lexa's muscles and used it to her advantage. Using her stronger legs the supposed spy flexibly bent her hips upwards so that her ankles could cross over the Commanders neck and pulled her back so that the brunette landed flat on her back. Costia was quick and before Lexa's head had a chance to bounce off the cool floor her knee was connecting with the Commander's bruised ribs and settling on the center of her stomach while a second blade that had been pulled from her boot was pressed against Lexa's carotid artery.

Costia's jaw was clenched; her free hand was trapping one of Lexa's as the knee that wasn't pressed into the Commander's liver held the other at her side. "Do that again and I won't stop my blade." Costia warned.

Lexa breath shallowed as she felt the prick of metal on her skin, "You're a liar."

Costia merely raised an eyebrow, but didn't relent on her position so Lexa continued with her voice slightly strained, "You felt something for me, I know you did."

"Like I told you, Commander, it was an assignment. Everything that happened between us was-"

"No," Lexa interrupted, "do you remember that day we went for hike to get away from our village. It was one of the only days we didn't have training because Anya and the others had a meeting with the Commander, but we went out farther than we thought and decided to spend the night in the woods. We didn't tell anyone where we were going and we knew that Anya would probably give us a lecture and give us stable duty for a while, but we didn't care we just wanted to get away together."

"No, I don't remember." Costia said simply as she pushed off Lexa's chest and stood up, "and I don't care too, because it means nothing."

Costia sheathed her weapon and turned back around to towards the door. Lexa sat up and slowly got balance on her feet; looking over to the young woman Lexa noticed uniquely designed, still puckered, scars peeking out from the fabric of her tank top. Having plenty of scars of her own, Lexa recognized immediately that the weapon that did it was a chain that had been used a whip. She never remembered Costia having such scars.

Costia was about to knock on the locked door to have the guards open it, but before she could Lexa continued to retell the memory. She knew the woman she used to share everything with was still in there something and she refused to believe that everything was a fallacy.

"We stopped at a river to try and catch a meal. You wanted to help, but I was being stubborn and wanted to impress you so I stood there on the bank for such a long time just watching and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. And when I did I got ahold of a fish, it was nearly half my body length."

Costia paused, her back still to the Commander, "I was smiling like an idiot because I was so happy that I actually was able to catch something. The fish had a bit more fight in it though and it started to wriggle out of my grasp so I ended up wrestling on the muddy river bank. Apparently the sight was hilarious because you started laughing harder than I had ever heard. I managed to trap it under my body weight and I remember glaring at you because you wouldn't stop laughing and I knew that you would never let me live it down. You tried to stop, but you couldn't so I decided that two could play that game and threw some mud at you."

Lexa looked down and a small laugh escaped as the memory played its course, "We go so distracted that the fish was able to get back into the river. We were a complete mess, covered in mud, exhausted, and hungry but we didn't have a care in the world."

When Lexa looked up again, Costia had completely frozen in place so Lexa took a few steps forward until she was just behind the other woman, "You can't tell me that wasn't real. That you were just doing an assignment when that happened." Lexa placed her hand on Costia's shoulder, partly to make sure that she was actually real, and felt the other girl tense under the touch.

There was a moment of silence before Costia turned around; her eyes were searching and her mind was seemingly at war and for a flash of a moment Lexa thought that maybe, just maybe she saw the woman she had known and loved all that time ago.

The moment was fleeting, however, because just after it arrived the warring had stopped behind Costia's eyes and they became dull and unreadable once again. Ripping Lexa's hand off of her shoulder, Costia brought her free hand up and back handed Lexa's cheek sending the Commander tumbling to the ground. Lexa was stunned just long enough for Costia to signal the guards and walk out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've just discovered the show RWBY (if you like anime and you haven't seen it you should because it's absolutely freaking amazing in very way, shape, and form) and because of it's awesomeness I've been coming up with ideas like crazy for it and I can't keep them contained so I'm going to be writing those fics along with this. Also, school and work are going to be starting up soon for me as well (ugh!). Because of all of this I may not be able to update exactly on Sundays and Wednesdays, but I am going to try and still update twice a week. However, I don't want to post something that I'm 100% happy with so it might occasionally be once a week. I am sticking with this to the end and it will not be abandoned I promise!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm apologizing now for the events of this chapter.

She had sat in silence for an unknowable amount of time with only her thoughts to keep her company. No one else had come to visit her or torture her or even give her water or food since Costia walked out of the door.

The name had been a constant echo. The young girl who was so full of life, wistful freedom, and had an undeniably joyous presence that wandered Lexa's memories seemed to be nothing more than apparition of the past.

A part of her psyche still reached out, however, to try and grasp that flicker of emotion that passed over Costia's timelessly beautiful eyes in hopes that it was one of the emotions she was searching for. But the majority of her was beginning to accept the fact that the girl she loved was gone, if she ever truly existed.

_This isn't a time to dwell on the past. This is a time to either survive and destroy this plot or die in the process, but the past won't aid in doing any of that._

Lexa closed her eyes as she sat in the metal chair with her hands clenched together atop the smooth table. Lexa rubbed her thumb over her knuckles that were raw and bruised with dried blood splotched across them. She had tried to get out of this stone cell but only managed to reopen some of her wounds and cause a few more bruises to her mosaic of purple and yellow.

So now she sat, waiting for her tormentors to enter, and driving her focus on her motivation for escape. Her future, her life, her people.

Her love.

From the moment Clarke had stepped into her tent she knew the woman would be a wild card. Stubborn and resolute, but compassionate and unpredictable; guided by emotions and loyalties that were uncommon amongst her own people and something that she herself had parted ways with a long time before. Honestly she had thought that the Arker would be more trouble than anything else, someone that would chip away at her outer exterior and test her in ways that no one else dared.

Now that golden-haired, ocean-eyed wild card was the only thing holding the Commander together; the bright star, standing front and center, of her motivation to escape this hell.

_It doesn't have to be weakness. Love can be your strength Lexa, so let it._

Lexa opened her eyes when she heard the lock of the door click open. Immediately rising from her seat the brunette took an instinctual fighting stance as she watched the metal door push open and Myra walk in with Costia trailing behind.

Lexa relaxed her stance, she had gained back some of her strength but not enough to take on both of the former Grounders in combat; this wasn't the time, not yet at least. So instead Lexa took her seat back at the table and met Myra with a steady gaze.

Myra, seeing Lexa relax and understanding that the Commander knew she wouldn't win, loosened her grip on the sheathed blade at her hip. "Good to see your common sense has returned to you." Myra said raising an eyebrow and sliding into the seat across from the Commander.

The warrior had a confident yet nonchalant air about her which was a far cry from the stiff, rage-driven soldier that Lexa had grown accustomed too and Lexa knew something was up. Costia stood against the wall near the door and even though Lexa was well aware that the spy was here for a reason she decided to not spare a glance but instead focus on the dangerous woman in front of her.

"Have you come to take me to my next torture session?  Or has your boss lost interest in it already." Lexa said flatly.

Myra laughed "Oh trust me darling Ben won't ever lose interest in that, but he has been having some fun with your little blonde girlfriend. She's more resilient than I thought although she did seem quite fixated on what was going on in here during your little reunion." The soldier shrugged her shoulders and shot Lexa with a sideways look, "She was kind of jealous, it was incredibly pathetic."

Lexa bristled at the mention of Clarke's torture, she'd known that it would happen if they stayed here too long and she had wanted to make their escape before Clarke or any of the others faced the same fate she endured. There is only one person whom she would wish to endure that fate.

Myra saw Lexa tense up, but the Commander's gaze never faltered as she looked coolly across the table, "Then what are you doing here?"

"You're a creature of habit, Commander." Myra started, settling her spine straight against the back of the chair, "You always revert back to the logical and the rational when it comes to any decision, no matter how simple or complex. Even before you believed your lover had been decapitated and went to the extremes in hiding your emotions, you've always had a knack for strategy and know which risky odds are worth betting for in the long run."

The chestnut-haired woman leaned forward slightly so her elbows could prop up on the table. Her dark, bottomless eyes sent an involuntary shiver down Lexa's spine and in the light of the room the shadows that were cast upon her skin accentuated the scars that lined her neck and face to create a formidable portrait of a woman who had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Myra's voice was strong but still as casual as if they were speaking about the weather, "A war is on the horizon for us both no matter what happens in this bunker but the amount of lives that will be lost is up to _your_ decisions. I'm simply here to give you all of the information you need to sate your logic and strategy."

Myra sat back and crossed her right leg over her other knee, folding her hands atop it, and waited for Lexa to respond. A moment past where the young leader contemplated what the ploy of all this was or they were simply trying different tactics to gain her trust before she finally spoke. "My strategy already has an endgame and it doesn't involve me joining you."

A small, slightly mischievous and challenging smile formed on Myra's lips, "That might be so, but we both know that plans don't last in battle and especially not in the long run. I can see it on your face and in your eyes, Lexa, you have questions about what's going on. About how all of this could've been happening for so long and with no one the wiser, what our plans are with you and the rest of your people, and many, many more. The answers are right in front of you, all you have to do is ask."

_She's good, but she's not the only one that can play this game._

Lexa studied Myra for a moment before leaning back in her own chair, "You can't honestly believe that the rest of the world will allow your boss to do this. You're outnumbered and I'm assuming that not everyone will be included in his developing of a 'better race'. So what does the good doctor have planned for the rest of the world? Slavery? Genocide? Those things worked out so well in the past."

There was a twinkle in Myra's onyx gaze that seemed much more menacing that how it was probably intended to be, but this wasn't the first time Lexa had played this game of information. When she was forming the coalition of the twelve clans some of the leaders tried and failed to outsmart her like this. Myra may be trying to appeal to her and get her loyalty by freely giving information and justifications but Lexa never lost and information can always be useful.

"I believe your underestimating our cause, Lexa." Myra began as she tapped her finger against her knee, "Ben's forefathers may have started planning this revolution nearly one hundred years ago and since then the cause has grown. He is but one general among many who share his same ideas, who want to rebuild what we use to have only better."

Lexa tried to keep her features neutral as Myra spoke. She remembered Dr. Wells saying something before about him having more followers than they would think, but how many was the question that was beginning to form at the back of Lexa's mind. _Is he really in charge of all of this?_

"There are even some, not too far from here actually, that have weaponry capable of helping us enforce this. Weaponry that caused this wasteland but that can now be used for a just cause." Myra looked down and stopped tapping her finger and when she looked up again her eyes were full of determination, "And that's only those closest to us, you have no idea the true scope of this. Once Ben is able to complete the science and gather what he needs in order to start the natural process of reconstruction of society, that's when the plan will move to the second phase and our allies will contribute their part."

"So you're going to kill everyone else that he doesn't deem to be a _perfect specimen_? You're just going to wipe them out without a second thought?" Lexa broke her resolve with her words as they were overflowing with disgust.

"Not all of them." Myra said ignoring the tone of the Commander, "You need a certain amount of traits and factors that are, oh what's the word," she tilted her head up in thought before looking back at Lexa, "Subpar, insufficient, weak because over time those traits will naturally be changed and adapted to fit to the other stronger more dominant traits that we are selecting for. But for those who have too many of these invaluable traits, well, your friends on the Ark helped us out with a very special weapon for that occasion."

Lexa didn't reply, the shock and disgust written all over her face. She turned her gaze away and shook her head in disbelief, "And what makes you think I'd want any part of that?"

"Because of what will happen afterwards."

Lexa turned her gaze back to Myra and watched as the woman unfolded herself to lean forward against the table again, "You were born to be a leader, you have a natural talent that can't be taught and I know you want to use it to do something good. So why not use it to help mold the future, to lead, to inspire, to build. You could have an amazing life in a society with you at the helm and then prepare your children to take over for you and take things to even greater heights. One hundred years from now they could call you a pioneer, Lexa; a hero, a savior, the master architect of the new world."

This was the most emotion Lexa had ever seen from this woman as her voice got more and more excited and exuberant with each word she spoke. However, her voice was more controlled and serious when she continued, "You have already made a great difference in the world by uniting the Clans, but why not do more. This is going to happen one way or another, Commander, it's just a matter of time, but I suggest you choose a side sooner rather than later."

Lexa was silent for only as long as it took to blink, "I made my choice a long time ago, Myra, and hearing what you've had to say has only strengthened that for me. I will _never_ be a part of this utopian eugenics slaughter," finally she turned forest green gaze away from Myra to meet and hold Costia's for a moment before turning back, "This isn't the way to do things, it's things like this that perpetuate even more war and destruction. I have things to live for in this world, things that I would never give up just to play accessory to mass homicide. I will fight alongside the people who call me Commander, we will find a way to stop you or we will die trying."

Annoyance flashed across Myra's features before she schooled it and gave a small laugh and sat back in her chair, "Very well, but I will have you know that 'the people who call you Commander' arrived at the cavern entrance a couple days ago. We would've let them all live and given them a fair chance, but that's your decision then I think we can lose the few we would've taken from the group. Their lives can all be extended if you change your mind."

Lexa's jaw visibly tightened but she remained silent.

Myra stood up with a sigh, "Then their blood is on your hands."

The black-eyed warrior turned to leave before stopping and turning to look back at the Commander.

Her speed was impressive because before Lexa had a chance to defend, Myra was reaching over the table with her hand firmly intertwined within Lexa's matted braids shoving the Commander's face into the flat metal surface while her other hand clasped around both of Lexa's wrists to trap them.

Myra's lips were so close to Lexa's ear that the young brunette could feel them just barely brushing against the outer shell and lobe. "It seems that stubbornness is a trait you and your blonde whore have in common." Myra whispered, "She's pushed the doctor to the point where he's questioning her usefulness and if I have it my way she won't last the night."

Lexa stiffened under Myra's grip which got tighter in her hair before the woman continued, "I'll enjoy killing her more than you will ever know, but don't worry I'll give her a kiss for you."

Lexa felt Myra's lips brush against her ear before the soldier pulled the Commander's head up and bounced it against the metal surface.

\--------

The last thing Clarke remembered was Emerson striking her over the head with the butt of a pistol after he had used her as a punching bag. Her consciousness was coming back to her, but as it did she felt a surge of anxiety and déjà vu as she felt thick leather straps restraining her just as how they did when they had tended to her leg, but this time something new was added as she tasted the dryness of a cloth that had put in her mouth.

Quickly blinking away the fuzziness of her vision Clarke found that she was lying on metal slab this time, the cold flat surface causing her skin to tingle as it came in contact with her nearly bare back. The dull pain and soreness came back next as all of her accumulated bruises and wounds were noticed. Clarke tried to calm her breathing as she looked up at the gray ceiling, however all of that failed when she turned her head and looked to her right.

Through a large window Clarke could see the unmistakable red hair of Monroe and the blonde could feel her blood begin to run cold at the sight.

Calling her mutilated would be putting it lightly for it seemed as if someone had taken every vital organ out of her, drained her blood, and simply left her splayed.

Clarke ripped her eyes to the other side to try and fight the nausea, but the bile reached her throat anyway when she saw Jasper's lifeless body, partially covered with a white tarp, through a window on the other side.

Pinning her gaze back onto the blotchy ceiling, Clarke swallowed the acid in her throat as her mind raced through the possibilities about what might happen.

_Disappointment has consequences_.

His words rang through her mind as she felt the metal slab start to turn so her field of vision was taken away from her point of fixation and instead it landed on the sight of Monty, strapped exactly how she was.

The fear in her friend's eyes was more than enough for the both of them.

"Hello, Clarke." Dr. Wells' voice came from an opened door as he carried in a small holder with several filled test tubes. Clarke tore her eyes away from Monty as the doctor set the holder on a counter next to Monty giving her a clear view of the large bandage that wrapped around the ear she had bitten off.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, Clarke, and I've come to the realization that I have been letting you and the rest of your group dictate how I do things when in reality I should have never deviated from my original plan in the first place." He turned to look at her as he prepared a syringe with a light green tinted liquid, "I lost my temper and with it some of my patience because of your actions and as much as things need to progress those actions of your cannot and will not go unpunished."

Clarke was helpless as she watched Monty's eyes widen as Wells inserted the needle into his vein and the green liquid entered his body. "I told you that not all of your friends are useful to me in the same way you are and Mr. Green here is one of them, but luckily for him he won't suffer the same death as your other friend, after all I am a scientist and I do have other projects."

Wells removed the syringe from Monty and began preparing another, this time with a dark blue liquid which he held up in front of himself to inspect, "This is something that I have been working on for a very long time. It's been far more tricky than I initially thought, but nonetheless trial and error is something I've grown accustomed too. I've been waiting to do some human trials on this particular variant and I'm interested to see how Mr. Green will react."

Clarke felt stinging in the corners of her eyes as she watched, immobile, as Wells injected Monty with the second serum. Almost immediately, Monty began to react.

His back became rigid and his head snapped against the solid metal behind him. The convulsions were strong, quick, and irregular as all of his veins became visible under his skin. As the convulsions became less the cloth gag came loose from his mouth as his body settled with a few tremors. Clarke felt the hot tears streak her face as she watched his eyes roll into the back of head as blood began streaming out of the corners of his mouth, his ears, his nose, and his eyes.

She heard the muffled scream emanate from her throat as Monty's body completely stilled.

Dr. Wells had a pointed frown on his face that only lasted a moment before he turned and approached her. "Like I said disappointment has consequences, so I believe it would be in your best interest to comply, Clarke. That is unless you wish your mother to be the next victim of your own wrongdoings."

As he left the room, Clarke couldn't find it in herself to look away from her dead friend as more and more tears stained her cheeks. _This is because of me. They're dead because of me._


	18. Chapter 18

The darkness was overwhelming and all-consuming. It had crept into her every sense, depriving it of any kind of stimulation save the raw numbness at her wrists and ankles and the cold, damp stone beneath her. The darkness seemed to suck out any energy that she may have with the hopelessness eating away at her fatigue ridden carcass.

_They're dead because of me_.

After the events that took yet another of her friends she had been moved to a room that bore a strong resemblance to the one they had first woken up in all that time ago. To be honest she had no idea how long they had been here; she thought that it had to have been at least a week maybe two but who knows anymore for that thought roamed at the very edges of her mind.

The seed of hopelessness had been planted when the gunshot took one friend and with the death of yet another it had grown into a disease. It slowly began conquering parts of her mind like a tyrant hell bent on the search for complete domination using the remnants of its conquests to add to its never ending army.

The fight of resistance was there, but it was rapidly dwindling.

_My own stubbornness and cowardice did this. I failed them, I failed all of them._

Clarke's mind seemed to be at war with itself with one part grasping at any good or joyous memory and holding it on loop to try and bring a light into the darkness. But as fate would seem fit, those memories became tainted.

Corrupted, as the shadows of hopelessness dug its claws deeper into her.

Each face her memory would pull up would eventually end up in the same position. Their smiles and laughter would turn grim and silent as they were transported from the happy memory to one of Clarke's most haunting ones.

The corrupted part of her mind would display the image of the people she loved facing the barrel of her gun in the control room at Mount Weather. They would be standing in the position that Dante Wallace once took and each time she would hear the mimic of words as she looked at them over her extended hand and the weapon.

_"I didn't want this."_

_"Neither did I."_

And each time the mocking of her thoughts would pull the trigger and she would watch one by one as each of the people she saved, the people she led, her friends, and her peers would fall lifeless in a tormenting joke of a mirage that she knew wasn't real but honestly who was to say what was real or not anymore?

Did it even matter?

Clarke Griffin had come to terms with the fact the likelihood of their escape was slim to none. They had unknowingly climbed down into a rabbit hole that led them to this sadistic Wonderland and it seemed as though their looking glass was one sided.

These are the thoughts that hopelessness had planted with each corrupted memory, but that didn't stop her shrinking resistance from continuing to fight for control. There were a few select memories that she had locked away to try and hide them from being conquered; memories of her mother and father, of life on the Ark when everything was fine, normal, and happy, memories of first seeing the blue sky and vast green forest of Earth.

Memories of Lexa; their declaration in the rain before all of this hell, their first meeting, and little solitary moments in between.

These memories kept her unbroken, but she didn’t know how much more she could take and she only hoped that the others were faring a bit better.

Clarke tried to roll to her side as much as she could, but the chains that held her were a bit too tight to fully get there. She was absolutely exhausted, but knew that if she dreamt it would be the same torment; however, her will wasn't consulted when her body gave in to her exhaustion.

\--------

Her burnt skin was healing but still as Lexa gently traced the pink, permanently marked flesh of her thigh the rush of a dull pain settled through her. The rose was unmistakable and a part of her wondered how he had managed to get so much detail using such a crude tool.

The rose itself was large and took up the majority of space on the top of her muscular thigh while the thorn-covered stem flowed with the lines until it reached the bone of her knee. A part of her thought that under radically different circumstances that the design would be beautiful and something that she would consider wearing as a tattoo, but as it were that was not the case and this floral design would be her constant reminder of this horrific events if they were to survive this.

_No, not if. When._ Her mind corrected.

She needed to survive this if only long enough to ensure the safe passage for the others, for Clarke.

Lexa let out a small sigh as she leaned her head back against the wall. She had gotten sick of pacing and the anxiety of not knowing what was going to happen next so for a while now she had simply sank against the wall opposite the door. Even though the solid stone was cool and sent painful shivers across the cuts, gashes, and bruises that decorated her back, the solidity of it was welcomed as she used it as an anchor for her motivations.

But her patience was wearing thin and she knew that if she didn't act soon that there might not be a window to escape. However, she hadn't yet fully recovered and her reflexes were still too sluggish to be of any use during a fight. She was almost there, though, and she would make her move soon.

This determination, however, didn't completely stop the same creature of hopelessness from gnawing at the walls she had built to protect herself. It was there and she knew it, she saw it, she felt it, and she heard it calling her name again and again begging to be let in but as long as that bright blonde image with those ocean blue orbs was in the forefront of her mind she believed her resolve would hold.

That is unless something has happened. Myra's words about Clarke still occasionally played and with them the dread that something had happened would accompany it.

_I hope she's alright. She's strong enough, I know she is, but what have they done to her?_

The brunette's thoughts halted as she heard footsteps approaching from out in the hall. She hadn't heard anything except a low rumbling of generators since Myra had left with her threats. The footsteps grew louder and Lexa rose to her feet as the padding sounds stopped and a _*click*_ indicated the unlocking of the door.

The Neanderthal looking giant entered the room, his blank gaze looking straight through Lexa as he stepped off to the side to reveal Costia who closed the door behind them. Lexa didn't move, but kept her stance as her gaze moved to the young woman while keeping the hulking guard in her periphery.

The Commander's eyes followed Costia's movements as she set a small box on the table before nodding back towards the man. Lexa forced her eyes to focus on him as he crossed the room towards her, but when his hands reached out to grab her she skirted out of his reach. _I may not have the strength to take him but I don't have to make it easy either_.

The guard made a frustrated grunt before he swung around to try and grasp her again and again Lexa avoided his large club like hands. Now away from the wall Lexa looked to see Costia with her back still towards them and instinct took over from logic.

Lexa swiftly turned on her heel and ran towards the door.

The guard, however, was faster than his size indicated and his reach was long enough to enable him to grab a single braid. He yanked the dirt covered piece of hair and Lexa felt her feet lift off the ground as she was swung backwards until she hit the wall she had originally been sitting against. The man let go of her hair as she flew past him but when she ricocheted off the wall he was there to meet her middle with his shoulder. It like hitting a brick as his shoulders collided with her sternum causing all of the air to briefly escape from her. Before Lexa had a chance to regain her already slowed reflexes she felt his large hands grip her shoulders and pushed her to her knees.

Costia was seemingly unfazed by the exchange when she turned around with a prepared needle. With his hold on the Commander tight the man forced her arm out to give a perfect opening for Costia to take some blood.

The raven-haired girl never looked at her while she slid the needle into the vein at the crook of her elbow, but Lexa's own verdant gaze never left the other girl's face. When the syringe was full and the blood dabbed away from the point of entrance, Costia returned everything back to the box and packed everything back up. Once she was finished she finally looked at Lexa for a moment to simply gauge whether or not she would try and escape again. Seemingly satisfied that the Commander knew she wouldn't get very far, Costia motioned to the guard who released Lexa and headed for the door.

The man walked through first but before the other girl could cut across the threshold Lexa spoke.

"Do you honestly believe that I'll join this?" Lexa asked as she slowly stood again, using the wall to balance her weight. Costia paused at the doorway but didn't turn around so Lexa continued. "Whether or not everything between us was a lie or not you still know me. You know I'll never join this, it's not who I am to do things this way."

There was a long silence with neither woman moving that was only broken by an almost imperceptible nod from Costia which was followed by door closing. They were alone, and for a few more the silence hung before Costia finally turned around with a reply.

"You're right, I do know you." She started her expression neutral and unreadable, "I know the strength of your will and I watched as it shattered with the death of your parents then rebuilt itself even more when you became Commander. I know you won't join this on you own accord, but it's not my decision how Dr. Wells wants to do things. But Lexa, your hope for an escape isn't coming."

Costia took a few steps further into the room, "All of your men who were at the caverns have been killed. Wells sent the order late last night and they camps were raided and burned down before dawn." Lexa's jaw visibly tightened, as did her fists as the news, "No one is coming to save you so why not preserve your life and the lives of the rest of your group? A few are already dead and more will follow soon if things keep going as they are. Do you really want more blood on your hands?"

"It's not just on mine." Lexa's voice was dimmed in volume but it was still as commanding, "It's on yours too. The girl that I knew, the girl who held me at my weakest point, supported me at my proudest, and gave life to a village she would never be a part of something like this. You were born in that village, grew up there, trained there, and you'd still condemn them all to death. Some of those men and women at the cavern entrance knew you, watched over you, and were friends to you."

Lexa found that she had moved forward while she was speaking, but Costia's expression was still neutral even with the bite that each of the Commander's words held. The brunette's fists were clenched at her sides and her eyes were boring holes into Costia's, her frustration only being fueled by the other girl's blank features.

"I've made peace with all of the lies and treachery, but the people who knew and loved you still fight for you. There's a memorial set up in Polis for all those were lost during the war and your name is on it. People fought in _your_ name. People died in _your_ name, and even before I was able to start grieving for the girl I loved with everything I had I made a peace treaty, a Coalition between the Clans and even the woman whom I hated more than anything in the world in _your name_."

Lexa shut her mouth with an audible click to try and control her swelling emotions and shaky voice. Costia was silent and Lexa turned away from her so that her downcast profile was all the other girl saw, "You changed my life, Costia, whether it ended up being for the good or bad I'm sure but either way the fact still remains. I should hate you, I should despise you for what you did to me but even though I know the truth I still thank you." Lexa moved her gaze back to the other girl to find that her face had changed from its neutral air to something different. It was faint and Lexa had an idea of what it was, but it didn't matter.

Bringing her gaze back up Lexa met Costia's with a strength and confidence that went beyond what she had shown or felt since she arrived here. "If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have had the strength to unite the Clans who will undoubtedly destroy this operation when they find out. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't know what love is so that I may find it again. The woman you claimed to be may have died a long time ago, but we will always have the river."

Lexa turned her back towards the other girl, not waiting for a response, and took a few steps back towards the wall where she would sit and wait for her time to escape. However, as she did this she didn't see the manifestation of that faint change grow within those grey-green eyes until it took control.

After a few long moments Lexa heard the door's lock reengage and she let out a long, heavy breath that had weighed down her lungs.

\--------

The sudden splash of cold water connecting with her bare skin caused Clarke to startle back to consciousness. As she opened her eyes and propped herself up on one elbow she felt a sharp pain as she was kicked in the ribs, knocking her to lay on her back. Looking up, she got a nauseous sensation within her stomach at the sight of Dr. Wells standing over her, the toe of his boot tapping the floor next to her.

"How are you feeling Miss Griffin? You aren't looking too well." The concern within his words was cut short by the mirthful smirk on his face. Clarke glared at him as much as she could, her blue eyes following his movements as he crouched down before her.

"I know what you're feeling, Clarke. They all get that look in their eye after a while, that's how I know it's almost complete. You're losing your hope. That emotion can be such a powerful thing but once it's lost, well, then it’s the perfect time to give a person hope in something new. Something better."

Clarke didn't reply as she kept her glower set on him, "All of this can stop. All you have to do is join us."

Again the blonde didn't verbally reply but instead she used what little saliva she had to spit at his boots. Wells sighed as he stood up; grabbing a small radio that was attached to his belt he pressed the button down to speak, "It went as expected, go fetch the Commander."

"Yes, sir." Came a woman's voice that Clarke immediately recognized to be Myra's when the button was released.

After securing his radio back to his belt the doctor turned his attention back down the blonde who had again propped herself back up. "As much as I need you, Clarke, you aren't irreplaceable, though I can use you to secure my main prize."

Before Clarke had a chance to reply the boot she had spat on reared back and struck her ribs again with much more force than the first time. Again and again the boot connected with her ribs and sternum until she was gasping and coughing to for oxygen, but even then he didn't stop. The pain was radiating throughout her body and over her own ragged coughs she heard his boisterous laughter above her, mocking her and the pathetic state shew was in.

\--------

Lexa's eyes hadn't moved from the door within the hours she had continued to sit against the wall of her cell. It had been long enough and she could feel her rested and controlled muscles twitch at the thought of being put to use to escape.

_The next time that door opens, it's time._

Her mind was focused on her goal and she felt the adrenaline dams begin to crack as more footfalls were heard from beyond the door. When the click of the locking mechanism sounded, Lexa was on her feet within an instant to see who would be first victim.

She had an inkling of who the next person to enter the room would be and when the door opened her suspicions were rewarded as Myra walked in. The door didn't close behind her and Lexa knew that she needed to strike first.

With the smirk on Myra's face her focal point, Lexa lunged forward hoping for the element of surprise to be on her side.

However, before she was able to reach the trained warrior the smirk on her face vanished and transformed into a painful look of shock before the woman collapsed in a heap on the floor. Nearly stumbling over the now unmoving woman Lexa looked up with a startled expression to see Costia standing before her with a blood tipped blade tightly gripped in her right hand.

Lexa looked back at the woman lying at her feet and saw the small bloodied stab wound within the black fabric of the woman's shirt.

Lexa's gaze snapped back when Costia spoke, "We need to go, now. We don't have much time."

The pounding of the Commander's heart was still audible in her ears and her feet refused to move as she looked at the woman in shock.

"Lexa, we need to go." Costia said as she took a step forward.

"Why are you doing this?" Lexa managed to whisper.

Costia paused for a moment and looked away, closing her eyes for a brief moment before returning her gaze to the stunned young woman.

 "Because you changed my life too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sorry for the late update, this past week has been insane)
> 
> So, a decision has been made regarding how much more of this story there will be. I have decided that there will only be 2 (maybe 3 depending on the length) chapters and an epilogue left of this crazy ride. Everything is already figured out and I'm going to have much more time to write this coming week so hopefully I'll have the next one done by mid-week. Thank you guys so much for sticking around, you're amazing!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being late yet again, my school load was insane this week but I do have the entire weekend free so fingers crossed for another chapter. 
> 
> Also! Thank all of you so much for all of the support with this! I hope you enjoy!

The room around them seemed to go still save the quieting thunder that was Lexa's heartbeat. She had no words for the situation before her as it began to sink in. Costia, seeing the Commander's hesitance, continued to try to explain. She didn't want to do this now, they didn't have time at all but she knew that that she would have to give some sort of explanation to get Lexa's feet moving.

Costia took a deep breath and another step forward so she was only but a foot away from the Commander, "I was a spy." She said the phrase simply almost as if the weight and implications of the words were nonexistent.

"My family had been for generations and I was expected to be the same, I was raised to be the same. The only difference is that my father wasn't originally one of them and even though at the beginning he was loyal he never was completely and when I was born he made sure to teach me that this wasn't the only way. That our lives in the Clans were fine the way they were."

She watched as Lexa's expression morphed from shock to a flash of anger and finally settling on an unreadable stare, but Costia continued knowing that's what the other girl wanted her to do.

"I had had other missions before but they were all listening and observing, until you showed interest in me. You became my mission because of who you were and your parent's stature within the Clan because Wells thought it would allow me to gain more insight into the leadership. He had people in Polis, but we were the only ones in that area." Costia looked away for a brief moment, her eyes flicking over the small amount of blood that had formed on the ground beside Myra.

"Lexa, we were real. Everything that happened between us, it was real."

"How can you honestly expect me to trust that?" Lexa replied before she was able to finish the last word; the bite in the brunette's voice matching the flare of anger in her forest green eyes.

"I don't." Costia said firmly, "You have no reason to trust me, Lexa, but I-" she broke off again and it was a moment before she resumed, "When I was brought here, Wells found out that I had developed feelings for you and that I was hiding things and moving away from this goal of his. He tortured and murdered and my parents to punish me and because they let it happen. He said I had potential, though, that I could be useful because I was still so young so he took his time in breaking me. For months he did to me what he did to you and eventually he succeeded because I jus-I just wanted it to stop. I tried to hold out as long as I could, but I wasn't strong enough. I had to give in but I couldn't give you up."

Costia sighed and her gaze filled with something resembling regret, but with so much more attached in the shadows, "He broke me and I let him."

"Then why are you doing this now." Lexa's voice had less bite, but held little to no compassion.

"Because you reminded me of the one memory I was able to hold on too. Believe it or not Lexa, the love I showed you was real. There was something about you, even form the first moment I met you that drew me away from the ideas that my mother had instilled in me and to the life I could see with you in the village."

It was Lexa's turn to look away then and she crossed her arms across her chest. "When I was broken I lost myself, he was controlling everything I did and I had no control to stop him because I knew what would happen if I did. I couldn't even take my own life, even as much as I wanted too. The hope that I had saved had been buried under so much delusion and manipulation that I had forgotten it was even there. I didn't know you were here until that day he brought me in and even then I-I'm sorry."

Lexa looked back when the words were spoken to find Costia with her head lowered, "I should've done something then, I shouldn't have let him continue but I-I couldn't. When we were talking, though, something changed and I wasn't thinking about not what he wanted me to do but what _I_ wanted; it was the first time I had thought that in a long time, but it wasn't enough. Then when you mentioned the river that last time it was like everything came rushing back to me. I don't know how to explain it, really."

_This is a charade. It's too good to be true. The girl I knew is gone_. Lexa's thoughts were going wild with parts of her wanting to believe the words that were being spoken while the other was far less trusting. She looked down and saw the wounded woman at her feet. _Then why would she do that? Why would she attack Myra? It has to be a ploy, an elaborate plan to gain my trust. But that look in her eye…it's exactly how I remember…but that was a long time ago._

There was a long silence where Costia was allowing her words to be fully processed and for the Commander to make her decision. Finally, Lexa moved but it was to shake her head, _I shouldn't trust her, but we can't stay here any longer. If I don't make my move to escape soon I'll never get another chance._

Lexa's thoughts were interrupted when she saw Costia extend the hand holding the bloodied blade. "I'm not asking for your trust, but I am giving you a way out of here. If your trust is that far gone then kill me and go, the keys to where the others are being held are in my pocket."

Flipping the dagger so the hilt was facing the Commander, Costa pushed the rounded end into Lexa palm until she gripped it tightly. The weight of the blade felt familiar against the raw skin of her palm and as her fingers curled around the leather binding of the grip and her thumb ran over the small engravings that decorated it she knew her decision.

"We need to get the others first."

A fire began to build within the Commander as she twirled the weapon around in her fingers. With a silent nod, Costia motioned to the door and they began their escape.

According to Costia, there were only cameras in the main halls and that the one in the room she had been held in was only active when Wells wanted to watch. Silently they moved out of the room with Costia walking a few feet ahead to make sure they wouldn't run in to anyone. After traversing several corridors and making several turns down narrow halls, the two women stopped in their tracks as they heard voices coming from around the corner.

"What's taking them so long?"

They heard Dr. Wells' familiar voice echo through the hall as he snapped at one of the guards. "I'm not sure, sir, they haven't answered their radio." The guard replied with a little apprehension in his voice.

"Well don't just stand there go see what the problem is!"

As Wells shouted at the guard, Lexa and Costia pressed themselves up against the wall when they heard more footsteps approach the pair around the corner, "My apologies for the interruption, doctor," Lexa immediately recognized the voice as Emerson's and she felt the fire within her grow even more. "We've gotten an urgent message, sir, from A.L.I.E."

Dr. Wells sighed in exasperation, "Fine, I'll deal with the damn computer." Footsteps started retreating before stopping once again, "Go see what's going on."

Costia and Lexa backtracked down the hall until they cut into a small side corridor as the guard drew closer to them; Costia looked back to Lexa and a silent plan was made. "The doctor has been looking for you. Where have you been? Where's Myra?" the guard questioned when Costia walked out from their hiding space. The young woman didn't respond as she waited for him to approach her, when he was close enough she shot forward, wrapping one arm around his throat and clamping the other over his mouth. Dragging the guard back into the shadows of the hall Costia held the squirming man enough in place for Lexa to run her blade across his throat in one silently swift move. When his body went completely limp Costia motioned towards a small closet which they left his body in.

Clearing the hall once more then moving forward, the two came to the door where Wells had just left and Lexa felt her heart become thunder in her ears once more as Costia unlocked the door.

The small lights in the room had been left on and Lexa's eyes were instantly drawn to a lump on the floor, curled up against the far wall. The blonde hair was the first thing she saw and she was so focused she didn't even register Costia placing a key into her hand. Rushing forward without losing her focused gaze, Lexa fell to her knees beside Clarke's back.

She heard the faint click of the door closing behind them but it was a thought that was already gone as she placed her palm against Clarke's shoulder blade. The blonde tensed under the touch, but Lexa didn't pull her hand away but instead started moving her thumb in soothing circles across Clarke's cold skin. She felt the girl relax slightly under the touch and let out a long, staggering breath.

"Clarke." Lexa whispered and it was all Clarke needed to hear completely relax and try to turn her injured body. The brunette felt her own anxiety lessen and a breath she didn't know she was holding escape her lips when she finally looked upon the pools of blue that she loved so much.

The feeling of the key in the palm of her hand came back to her and she immediately began fumbling with the locks that bound Clarke raw joints.

Clarke watched Lexa work. _Is this a dream? This has to be a dream_. Her mind was clouded and pain was radiating from her ribs and back where she had just been kicked repeatedly. Things were slowly coming back to her, however, and when she felt the cuffs release her raw skin and heard the clank they made on the stone floor she snapped into reality.

"Lexa, wha-" her hoarse words were cut off by chapped, full lips crashing into her own. Clarke melted into the kiss instantly and brought both of her shaking arms up to press her palms against Lexa's cheeks as she felt the other girl's hands do the same to her.

Costia turned away to face the door at the sudden action; a small, not necessarily sad, smile forming on her own lips.

Neither wanted the kiss to end and for several moments it didn't, but eventually Lexa pulled away to rest her forehead against Clarke's; her hands clasped around the blonde's tightly between them. "We're getting out of here." Lexa whispered.

For the first time Clarke noticed the presence of another person in the room and immediately looked around Lexa to see Costia with her back turned towards them. Clarke looked back with a questioning and slightly worried expression but Lexa shook her head, "It's a long story, but she's going to help us get out of here once we gather the others."

_The others_. Clarke thought as the still fresh memories of watching Monty die came rushing back, but she didn't time to dwell on them as Lexa stood and helped her to her feet. She was wobbly as she hadn't used them for a while and her balance took a bit to come back, but she was weak and she knew it. Pain shot though her body as she tried to take a step and luckily Lexa was there to catch her as she stumbled.

Costia turned back around upon hearing their tentative footfalls, "Two of your other friends are on this floor, but Mr. Blake and Ms. Reyes were moved to upper floors yesterday."

"Lead the way." Lexa said, tightening her grip on Clarke while being careful as to not put too much pressure on her bruised ribs.

Costia nodded and turned her gaze to Clarke who was regarding her cautiously, "Are you alright to walk?" Clarke nodded and with that they began back out into the maze of hallways. Costia led them stealthily into several small side halls that had supply closets and other turns to hide if they heard the occasional sound of footfalls. It wouldn't be long until they were found out and they needed to get to the others.

After a several minutes of moving through winding halls, Clarke had gained most of her balance back and was pushing the pain out of the forefront to focus on what they were doing. _We're getting out of here_. Her mind chanted to give her the motivation to continue on. They came to a corner that led into one of the main halls when Costia stopped and turned towards them with a finger against her lips. Slowly she motioned around the corner and to stay flat against the wall to get into the security camera's blind spot.

At Costia's mark they shot past the camera to the lone door at the end of the hall. Costia quickly unlocked the door and the pitch black room was flooded with light. When Clarke walked in the first she saw was Octavia to her left with her back up against the wall and her cuffed hands awkwardly atop her bent thighs. Her eyes were squeezed shut at the light but when she peeked through and saw Clarke's familiar face they shot open with surprise.

The clanking of metal on stone sounded as Clarke gave Octavia a quick explanation and Costia unchained Lincoln on the opposite side of the room. When the younger of the Blake siblings was released, however, they immediately went on without a moment to spare for reunion.

Making their way to the stairs proved to me much more difficult. They ran into a few other guards within the halls. The first two were fairly easy to disarm and take out as their backs were turned to the group. After confiscating the last guard's weapon and placing the body into one of the side closets the five escapees continued to push forward and up the stairs.

They were close to the rooms where Bellamy and Raven were being held and by this point the adrenaline coursing through all of their veins was near full capacity. They rounded a corner into a long slightly wider hall that was void of any doors, but as soon as they did they were face to face with one of the large brutish guards whom had manhandled all of them at least once at the opposite end of the hall.

Lexa stepped forward, with a dagger in each hand that she had taken from one of the guards. Lowering her stance she gave the Neanderthal-like giant a challenging glare; behind her the others whom had weapons held them at the ready. Upon seeing the group the man gave them a snarled glare before continuing to close the distance between them and gaining more speed and momentum with every long stride he took. The Commander took advantage of that, however, and used the gained adrenaline laced energy she had to propel her down the hallway until she got a few feet away from the charging beast of a man. His size and momentum had him barreling at speeds like a cannonball, but Lexa had a plan and when he was just about in her range the Commander jumped from her sprint to springboard off the right side of the hall that launched her to the left and again she ricocheted off the wall bringing her knee up to connect with the man's jaw when he was unable to slow down in time.

In quick succession after her knee, when she was still in the air Lexa brought both blades down into the bulging veins on either side of his neck. The guard grunted and gave a strangled cry of pain and Lexa's knees pushed into his chest and her weight was brought full force down on him until he hit the floor with a loud thud. Blood pooled around him and spewed from around the blades in his neck as the force of the impact drew them further in and the Commander twisted them until the brute was silent.

Pulling her blades out of his neck and wiping the blood stained metal on the exposed skin of his shoulder Lexa slowly stood up, the impact on her knee caused a shooting pain as she flexed the joint but she hardly felt it as her body was buzzing from the high. Turning around Lexa looked back at her companions to see a mix of shock and awe plastered on their faces.

"Well that's one way to do it." Octavia said, breaking the short silence that had formed.

"Where are the others?" Lexa directed to Costia.

"Down the next hall, but need to go now we can't hide him and there's regular traffic down tis hall." She replied as she stepped around the lumbering corpse that took up most of the hall.

Clarke fell into step next to Lexa and the two exchanged glances which caused a small smile to form on the other's face. It didn't take long to find Bellamy and Raven and luckily there were no other guards or technicians working in the labs. When they found Raven her arms had been strapped to a table and there was a metal contraption that circled her problematic leg. Needless to say she was more than happy to be released from it and while Lincoln and Octavia stayed with her to help put her brace back on the other three went a few door down to another small where Bellamy was upright and tied to slab with nodes connected to his temples and bare chest.

"Clarke? What are you doing here? How are you-" he asked when they entered the room, but he was cut off by the blonde in question.

"We're getting out of here." Was all she said and that was all the explanation he needed as she unbuckled the thick leather straps that bound him. Her head whipped around when they heard the door to the room start to open, Lexa and Costia had the same reactions and already had their weapons at the ready.

"Whoa, whoa it's just us." Raven said when she was greeted with pointed metal tips as she opened the door. The Grounders relaxed and when Bellamy was free of his restraints he pulled his sister into a tight hug.

"So, how exactly are we getting out of here?" Bellamy asked when he released his sister.

"We need to get to the blast doors; I managed to swipe one of the keycards that unlocks it. It's the only way in and out of the bunker but no matter what we do we're going to have a fight our way out. It won't be long until they sound the alarms." Costia replied addressing the entire group.

"Where's Monty?" Raven asked, looking around the group for her friend.

As soon as the name hit Clarke's ear her head lowered and she felt a stinging behind her eyes that she forced to the background. Her actions, however, drew the attention of the group and she knew they were staring at her; waiting for a response that some had already gathered by the look on the blonde's face.

"He's gone."

The words acted like something akin to a pause button to the group, but the vocally muted expressions that ranged from rage, to sorrow, and to denial only lasted for a sparse moment until it unclicked. "I'm going to kill him," Bellamy growled through gritted teeth, "He's going to pay for what he did to Monty, to Jasper and Monroe. For what he did to all of us."

There were nods of agreement but the rest of the group remained silent until their blonde leader spoke up, "We can't let him continue this." her voice was low and full of conviction, "If we escape  either he's going to find other people or he'll come after us."

"And what do you propose we do?" Lexa questioned.

Clarke thought in silence for a moment before turning to Raven, "If we give you the tools do you think you can blow this place up?"


	20. Chapter 20

"Is that even a question you need to ask?" Raven replied with a confident smile and glint in her eye.

Clarke turned to Costia, but it seemed as though the other woman was already ahead of her, "There's an armory on the level above us that houses a plethora of different explosives, but there aren't enough to destroy the entire bunker."

"We don't need a lot." Raven said with a bit too much enthusiasm as to blowing something up, "There's generators that power this place right?"

Costia nodded then added, "Generators, boilers, and fuel tanks are all on the lowest sublevel."

Raven nodded in thought for a moment, "If we can get down there and set up the explosives on them it should collapse the entire bunker."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Bellamy said.

Just then a loud, wailing alarm sounded throughout the floor. "We need to move fast if we're going to do this." Lexa said as she moved towards the door. The rest of the group agreed and gathered tools from the room that could be used as weapons for the time being.

Lexa peeked her head out of the door, the hallway was empty but the blaring siren was still going strong. Without another moment of hesitation Lexa rushed into hall, with the others close behind, towards the stairwell. As they got closer and closer, however, they started to hear shouting and heavy footfalls from around one of the corner. The Grounders and Sky People didn't even need to look around for confirmation as their weapons were drawn and held at the ready as they pushed forward around the corner and met a group of guards that they all immediately recognized as once being Grounders themselves.

It didn't matter, they weren't anymore and it wasn't the time to distinguish between those who were lost and those who were the enemy.

The hall was fairly narrow and when the two groups collided the sound of clashing metal was nearly as loud as the alarm. Like dancers they moved through the crowd that was thrice their own number in bodies slicing and stabbing then twirling the injured enemies to down their line of blades to deal the mortal wounds. One by one the guards fell until the last throat was cut.

For a moment the only sound in the hall, save the steady alarm, was the labored breathing of the adrenalized group. "Let's keep moving." Lexa commanded as she wiped a spot of blood from her cheek. The others nodded and exchanged out their mediocre weaponry for the swords and daggers of the fallen men and women at their feet.

The rest of the leg to the stairwell was void of any obstacles and silently they moved up a floor. The hallway they entered was in a 'T' shape and was much wider and longer than the others they had been in and to the right was a large door with several men positioned outside with rifles in hand.

As the group flooded from the stairwell they were instantly met with gunfire causing them to spread out along the walls of the upper part of the 'T'. Clarke looked across the gap to Lexa and found a predatory smile set firmly in place and she couldn't help the thoughts that followed as her eyes scanned over tensed, glistening muscle. When Lexa caught her eyes and that animalistic grin turned into a shameless smirk the blonde shook her head and refocused on the bullets that were whizzing through the air between them.

Lexa loved battle; not the aspect of killing, but the pure high that endorphins caused her. It was the dance of the fight, the challenge staying one step ahead, and the basic need to survive that drove her on and now with not only the motivation to escape but the knowledge that when she did she would finally be able to hold the woman who held her heart in her arms and never go, it sent a thrill through her that was unlike anything else.

The gunfire kept ringing out as they held their position to avoid being hit, but after a few moments Lexa pulled out one of the smaller knives they had gotten from the lab and after taking a deep breath turned her body around the corner. Her eyes were sharp and immediately locked onto one of the men's throats as she threw her blade with surgical precision. The entire strike took mere seconds and before Clarke had a chance for her mind to register and yell at Lexa for doing something stupid the Commander was already back around the corner and an anguished cry followed by low thud followed.

_Right on target_.

Looking to her right and then to her left she motioned to Costia and Lincoln and held up three fingers before pointing the direction of the fire. The two other Grounders nodded and readied their own blades to await their Commander's signal.

Lexa waited for a moment before giving the signal and like a synchronized machine the three blade wielders rounded the corner and launched their serrated knives down the hall.

A few seconds later the gunfire ceased.

The group gave it a moment before turning the corner completely and starting down the hall, only sparing a moment to make sure that all of the guards were dead.

"This'll be perfect." Raven said as she rushed over to a shelf with stacks of different explosives and detonation wires. While Costia and Lincoln aided Raven in gathering the equipment she needed and Bellamy and Octavia gathered rifles of their own Clarke walked over to Lexa who was keeping an eye on the door.

"We're going to make it out of here." The blonde said as she placed her palm against Lexa's shoulder blade.

Nearly on instinct the Commander leaned into the touch and her eyes fluttered closed for the briefest of moments. "I'll do whatever I have to in order to ensure your safety, Clarke." Lexa looked over to meet blue eyes, "I will get you home."

" _We_ will get home." Clarke corrected, bringing herself closer to the brunette and sliding her hand down the length of Lexa's back until she reached Lexa's own hand, intertwining their fingers. "We're going to destroy this place and make sure that he's stopped and when we get home Lexa promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise me that the first thing I can do when we get home is fall asleep in your arms." Clarke said with a small smile and Lexa felt her heart skip a beat and returned the smile fully with a squeeze of their hands.

"Of course." Was all the reply she needed to give as their hearts already knew everything else.

There moment was cut short, however, suddenly the alarm had that became a drone in the background suddenly stopped. Everyone in the armory froze and within a moment heavy footfalls were heard rushing down the hall.

"Take what you have! We need to move!" Clarke shouted back towards the rest of her group as those with guns came to the front and began firing into the lines of guards that were coming down the hall. Avoiding both bullets and blades the group moved out into the hall and began to move forward. They would have to take the stairs all the way down to the generators, it was the only way and they knew that the entire time they would be fighting their way there.

_How many guards does he have?_ Clarke thought as she pulled the trigger on her rifle.

They only had to travel a few floors down to reach the lowest sublevel with a few guards peppering the stairwell as they went. Running through the halls as fast as they could, Costia led them directly to a door that opened up to a large room that was easily the height of three levels on its own with large generators and power equipment scattered across the floor.

Incredibly heavy footsteps could be heard from the hallway they had just come from as Raven began to work. "Help her set the charges." Clarke said to Lincoln, Octavia, and Costia as the footfalls echoed louder though the halls.

The others nodded as the three remaining young leaders headed out into the hall. When they closed the door behind them and turned down the hall, Lexa stopped short.

"It's going to take a lot more than a little knife in my back to kill me." Myra growled as she walked forward with a sword gripped tightly in both hands. She was flanked by the two remaining large, enhanced guards who wore matching destructive looks.

Lexa narrowed her eyes and gripped the single sword she had gathered from one of the guards. Looking to either side of her to her two comrades Lexa began her sprint forward in a full on attack on Myra. The former Azgeda laughed and began her own spring meeting the Commander halfway with a hard clash of steel. Clarke and Bellamy rushed past them and began their own assaults.

Clarke pulled her rifle up and began to fire shots off at the man with the large masses along his face and neck. The shots connected to his shoulder and chest but had little effect on slowing him down as he barreled towards her. Armed with only her gun Clarke dodged out of the way of one of his large fists and swung the butt of the rifle at the man's face connecting with his eye causing him to stumble forward with a grunt of pain.

Bellamy sidestepped his blonde counterpart's reeling opponent as he narrowly evaded a hit from his own. The man with the sunken, skeletal like face refused to give him any room as he kept moving forward and swinging his lumbering arms around.

Rolling out of the way of yet another swing, Bellamy aimed his own gun and fired two shots into his back. The man was still for moment before quickly turning on his heel and bringing his fist around to land directly on Bellamy's jaw. How the bone was still intact he would never know, but he felt the blood coat his tongue as he was knocked over by the force of the impact.

Clarke took advantage of her injured opponent and began firing round after round into the man's back as he continued to jolt forward with each close range shot. However, even nearly an entire magazine wasn't enough to put down the humongous guard. Judging him to be stunned just enough, Clarke quickly ejected her magazine and was reaching for a new one when she found out she had judged wrong. The shots had only angered him further and before she was able to grasp the second magazine from her strap his was on her with his large hand wrapping around her throat.

"Ah!" Bellamy grunts as a large knee connects with his ribcage. Bellamy can see his rifle, it's been knocked a few feet away and he knows that if he just reach it he would be close enough to deal a mortal blow, but the man towering above him has him trapped against the wall. As large booted feet continue to plunder against the older Blake's rapidly bruising abdomen Bellamy fights to try and gain some leverage to get up. An opportunity arises when the man is distracted by a loud cry of pain that pierces through the air. Taking full advantage Bellamy scrambles to his hands and knees and just barely grasps the end of the gun. He knows that there are only a few rounds left and that he won't have time to reload so the young man swings himself up and fires a single bullet into the back of the guard's knee. The man all but roars as the bullet passes through the cartilage and loges itself deep into the bone causing him to fall. Getting to his feet, Bellamy takes a few steps closer and with each he releases the final two shots directly into the forehead of the man.

Clarke watches out of the corner of her eye as Bellamy fires his shots to dispose of the other man, but her vision is slowly turning black at the edges as her own adversary tightens his hold on the column of her throat. Her gun has already clattered to the floor and her hands are desperately trying to pry the man's fingers open. He's laughing at her, a menacing laugh like he's enjoying watching the air leave her lungs, but with every laugh Clarke grows more angry and determined. She can feel herself losing control of her muscles as the grip continues to tighten but she isn't done fighting and thrusts her right knee up hoping to connect with something. She does, but it has no effect on the man who continues to deeply laugh, but his laugh turns into a strangled cry as she extends her foot out with full force and directly connects with his groin.

The sudden impact causes the man to release his grip on her and she falls hard to the floor but before her body can react to its own impact she reaches for her rifle, aims at his injured crotch, and to add insult to injury pulls the trigger. The sound that escapes him is something she can only describe as something akin to a dying animal as he falls to his knees with blood seeping out from between his fingers, but without a single afterthought Clarke pulls the trigger one more time at close range dead center between the guard's eyes.

While her fellow leaders were having their own battles Lexa was immersed in the back and forth dance between her and Myra with both women fighting for who would lead. Even from just one prior bout they were both able to easily predict the others moves to block and counter with their own parry of the blade. However, there was a difference between the woman she had fought in the forest and woman now before her that Lexa was picking up on.

Myra was far angrier now then she had been then. It was a game to her before, a challenge to try and best herself and to have fun and thus she was far more calculating and composed, but now? Now that composure was starting to falter and her focus was tainted by a miniscule amount of sloppiness. Lexa smirked and it seemed to steer Myra on with her rage as the woman swung both of her swords at the Commander leaving her entire lower half exposed.

Ducking under the dual blades Lexa brought the edged side of her own sword down and sliced it across the fabric of Myra's shirt. However, the soldier was smart and her focus was too diluted to not see the move the coming and moved backwards just in time to avoid any fatal damage, but not soon enough that Lexa's blade sliced her shirt and the soft flesh beneath it.

Lexa's smirk grew as Myra looked down at the blood that was staining the ripped, dark fabric. "You're going to have to be far more clever if you want to kill me." Lexa mocked as she twisted her body into a full rotation and bringing her sword around level with Myra's neck. Myra vertically blocked the horizontal blow with one of her blades causing the momentum of the rotation to ricochet back on Lexa at the same time the hilt of the older woman's second sword up and connected with the Commander's jaw.

Blood spewed out from Lexa's mouth as she went flying and her back hit the stone wall. She fell to the floor with a grunt and her sword clattered away from her and before she could shake the foggy clouds form her field of vision, Myra was in front of her and carving her blade across Lexa's back. A scream emitted from the back of Lexa's throat without her approval as the blade cut through her. It felt like an inferno was ripping open her back one piece of flesh at a time, it was far worse than the pain she received when Wells took the torch to her thigh.

"I had these dipped in a special solution I thought you'd like." Myra's voice was low and full of psychotic malice in her ear as the Commander choked off her scream. Myra removed the blade, but the pain only lessened a fraction. She had no idea what those blades were dipped in, but she had a feeling if she would be hit by them again it would probably be the last. Myra turned her back to the Commander and laughed as she twirled her blades around in her hands.

"Come now, Commander let's have some fun with this. I've been wanting a rematch for quite a while now." The scarred woman's voice was lilting as she kicked Lexa's sword back over to her. White knuckling the grip of her sword Lexa stood, out of the corner of her eye she could see Clarke and Bellamy finishing off their respective challengers and turn as if to help her but she locked them with looks to halt them.

This one was hers.

The pain in her back ignited as she straightened her posture to bring her sword up into proper form, but she ignored it and kept her green gaze locked on the onyx one in front of her. Myra lowered herself into her own stance and at the same time both warriors rushed each other and began their deadly tango anew. One after another strikes would be shot and blocked with counters following and the clangs of steel combined with the short, scattered breaths creating an echoing cacophony.

Myra bridged her back to duck one of Lexa's swings and crossed here blades into scissors while bringing her back up in one fluid movement. Lexa dodged out of the way of the dual attack and was able to gain advantage at Myra's back but the soldier was quick to turn, but not quick enough.

As Myra twisted her body and pivoted her heels to bring her coated blades back in for a deadly blow Lexa caught her underneath the arm by her won sword causing of the poisoned blades to fall from the woman's grip. Without breaking stride Lexa caught the falling blade, turning it back up and directly into the hollow of its previous owner's throat.

Myra fell to her knees when Lexa pulled the blade out of under her arm. Pitch black eyes looked up at the Commander and a broad smile formed on Myra's lips as blood trickled down her jaw from the opening. Lexa's expression was the pinnacle of authority, of a Commander, as she thrusted the sword further in, running Myra through until the blood soaked poison blade was visible on the other side of Myra's back.

The hall was silent for a split moment after Lexa pulled the blade from the impaled flesh and Myra's body fell limp on the floor but soon the Commander felt a familiar presence at her side and she looked over into those deep blue eyes that were filled with concern as they moved to inspect the painful wound that would leave yet another scar from this time and place.

A moment later the door to the generator room flung open and the others rushed out. Stopping for a moment and looking at the carnage Costia looked up with surprise at Lexa when she recognized the bodies.

"Is it done?" Lexa asked as she traded her single sword for the toxic pair that the fallen Azgeda weld.

"The timers are set for thirty minutes, so I suggest we move quickly." Raven said as they were already heading towards the doors.

"We're going home." Clarke whispered for only Lexa to hear as they began to ascend the stairs.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my fellow Grounders and Sky People, this is it :) I hope you enjoy :)

Lexa's muscles were on fire as they continually ascended the countless flights of stairs to the upper levels. They were unsure as to the amount of guards that Dr. Wells employed, but at this point it didn't matter as waves of brainwashed grounders and bunker soldiers attempted to stop their ascent. With such close quarters the group of escapees were forced to resort to hand to hand combat with the rifle armed guards who sent bullets hurling past them as they took the flights two stairs at a time

Clarke could feel the intensity of her drive propelling her body forward as she slashed and stabbed her way through guards until she saw the label on the wall for the first sublevel. _We're almost there_. That was her focus, her goal, this was their chance and she was going to get them home no matter what it took.

By the time the narrow, dim stairwell opened up into the bright white maze of halls that made up the upper floor of the bunker a trail of bodies had already been left behind. Lexa squinted her eyes as the extreme contrast from the dark stone rooms she had grown accustomed too was replaced with the light of a hall she hadn't seen since their trial. But the time she took to adapt herself to the surroundings was only but a moment as a she heard a scream that was crying out her name.

Her reflexes kicked in instantly and she ducked into one of the hallways but not before the bullet that had been shot directly at her deeply grazed along the muscle of her shoulder. Lexa winced in pain as she pressed her open palm to the bleeding wound. "Are you alright, Commander?" Lincoln asked as he moved in front of her to throw blades at the enemy.

"I'm fine. We need to keep moving." She said as she looked over to see Bellamy, Clarke, and Raven firing the little amount of bullets they had left. When the wave of soldiers was left dead in their tracks the group pushed forward, faster than before with Costia leading them expertly though the turns and open rooms of the top floor of the bunker. As they passed through one of the large open rooms Clarke stole a glance at one of the clocks on the wall.

They had fifteen minutes until the bombs would detonate and Dr. Benjamin Wells was still nowhere to be found.

The hallway they were sprinting down came to a corner and when they turned it opened up into the long, wide hall with the hefty blast door at the very end; however, they were not alone. Blocking their path to freedom was, by the looks of it, twenty Grounders how Wells had turned armed with an array of bladed weapons as well as Carl Emerson and the doctor himself.

Upon seeing Dr. Wells, Clarke brought her rifle up and quickly lined up a shot and fired, but the click of an empty chamber was the only sound that the gun made. "All out of bullets are we?" he mocked as the others with rifles realized that they too were out of ammunition.

"I expected much more form you, Commander, I thought that we were making progress." Lexa scoffed as she readied the dual, poisoned blades she had taken from Myra. "And Costia, my dear Costia, I knew that those pesky feelings of yours would come out eventually but I did hope that it would happen after the Commander had joined us. Too bad, we had very big plans for the two of you, but nonetheless plans change."

"You won't be making anymore plans doctor." Clarke said coolly but venomously, "You're going to pay for what you've done and we're going to make damn sure that your research will fall into the hands of anyone else. Your plans are done."

Dr. Wells tossed his head back and laughed fully before resting his gaze back on the blonde. "Your single-mindedness is truly something Miss Griffin. Even after everything I've told you, you still believe that I'm the only one. Do you honestly believe that the only survivors on this earth are the ones in the surrounding areas? Foolish little girl, I had a special spot saved for you but it looks like I'll have to give a similar fate as your friends, what were their names?" the doctor tapped his chin in thought but waved his hand in dismissal after only a split second, "Oh it doesn't matter, there dead anyway."

Clarke felt her anger rising within her as she gripped onto the sheathed blades she had gathered from the armory.

"Kill them." Wells commanded to his guards and at the order the soldiers leapt forward with a frontal assault. Lincoln, Octavia, Bellamy, and Costia took the assault head on and met the charging guards with a clang of metal and the piercing of flesh which allowed Clarke and Raven time to move up the side of the hall towards the blast door. Lexa weaved her way through the crowd of guards, ignoring the searing pain in her back from the toxic wound, and used her blades to slice though enemy combatants so they would fall more easily for her comrades.

One guard caught her from behind but Lexa countered and slashed the man across his stomach and kicking him in the jaw. Using the falling body as a propellant Lexa launched herself with more speed further up the hall until she was stopped by three soldiers who surrounded her. Taking a deep breath Lexa ran her swords against one another, lowering herself and giving her adversaries a challenging smirk before beginning her dance.

Putting the mechanic in-between herself and the wall, Clarke made herself a shield as she pushed further and further forward. The metal locking system was just in reach when she felt a rush of air pass her ear and heard the thud of a blade notching into the wall behind her. Whipping her head around, Clarke saw Emerson standing a few feet away from her with a smirk and a sturdy combat knife in each hand.

Looking back towards Raven, Clarke got a reassuring nod before retuning her attention to the man before her. "I should've just cut your air hose when I had the chance."

Emerson's smirk only grew as he moved forward with a strike from one of his standard issue blades. Clarke was able to dodge, but as their hand to hand battle continued she realized that she was far less capable and trained than he was.

Using his size advantage Emerson knocked Clarke to the ground while slicing through the skin at her right ribs as she fell. Clarke cried out in pain for a moment before quickly reaching out with her own blade and cutting at Emerson's leg. She just barely made contact before he was on her again using his full weight to press on her torso as he drove the edged side of his knife towards her throat. Using her own blade to block his Clarke struggled against his strength.

The blonde could feel the edge of the metal scraping against the column of her throat as her own power was being outmatched. Clarke screwed her eyes shut for a moment and heard a rush of footsteps; before she knew it Emerson was pushed off of her and he clutched the side of his face where blood was rolling down in waves.

Scrambling to feet Clarke watched as Raven drove one the knives she held into his chest as another protruded out of his left eye. Momentarily stunned, Clarke's feet refused to move as she scanned the room, locating all of the members of her group and feeling a small splash of relief in knowing they were all alive.

The majority of the guards were lying dead on the white flooring, blood spattered and pooled all around them. "Clarke! Help me get this door open!" she heard Raven yell and it acted as jumpstart for her nerves and muscles. Using all of their combined weight Clarke and Raven began to push the heavy blast door open, but the thick metal put up quite a resistance. Straining every muscle in her body Clarke pushed and pushed, inching the door that was far too heavy for just the two of them ajar.

She was so focused on the task in front of her and the freedom that lay behind it that Clarke didn't notice the man across the wide hallway align a shot of his pistol with her sweat covered body.

Lexa had just disposed of one of the final guards and sheathed her blades on her back when she looked over and saw Dr. Wells raise his handgun and her feet began moving before her mind fully concluded that his was aiming directly at Clarke. She was further down the hallway and it took everything she had left to push herself up the ramp towards him. Shouting for Clarke to move out of the way Lexa leapt at him from a few feet away.

But the shot boomed out before she had a chance to stop him.

Clarke heard the shouting of her name and the urgent, desperate commands to move but by the time she looked over and saw Lexa reaching out for Dr. Wells with murderous intent the bullet had already left the barrel. However, her view of the doctor was suddenly obscured by another figure and the pain of the gunshot aimed directly at her chest never came.

Clarke watched as strands of silky, shimmering black hair was knocked from their tie as the impact of the bullet pushed the figure back and collapsed onto the floor. She barely saw Lexa tackling the doctor a moment later, but her eyes were fixated on the woman who had just saved her life.

Clarke rushed forward and her medical training took over. Blood was flooding from Costia's body like the gunshot wound in her chest was a large hole in too full dam. Two strains of the thick, crimson fluid ran out from the corner of the young woman's mouth as she coughed up more of it. Placing both hands, one on top of the other, against the wound Clarke put pressure to try and stop the blood loss even though in the back of her mind where the logical part had been pushed knew that this was without a doubt a fatal wound, but still she tried.

"Costia, you need to stay with me alright? You're going to be okay. I just need to-" The blonde's frantic rambling was cut off when she felt a cool hand wrap around one of her wrists.

Looking down, Clarke saw those incredibly light green eyes with their blue rims looking up at her while they grew duller by the second. "Why would you-why would you save me?" Clarke stammered as she still unconsciously kept pressure on the wound.

A small, sad yet content smile formed on Costia red stained lips. "My time has long been past, and you are her future Clarke." Her voice cracked as she strained to speak. "You can stop them, I know you can."

Costia began coughing and more blood spilt from her lungs in the process, but she forced it to stop and gripped Clarke's wrist even tighter as the blonde could feel the woman's heartbeat slowing under her palm. "Costia-"

"Cherish her with everything you have, Clarke, for she will love you far beyond your last breath."

Clarke Griffin had seen far more death than she ever imagined since she had been on the ground and the majority of it had been at her own hands. But feeling Costia's grip loosen on her wrist, the low strum of her heartbeat fade away, and watching as her eyes became completely lifeless all because this woman saved her own life so that she may do the same for the woman they both loved struck something in her that she didn't know where to place in the mess emotions that were swirling within her.

It was something that at a later point, she would reflect upon and view sacrifice in a whole new light.

Lexa hadn't seen Costia's sacrifice; however, in fact she thought that her former flame was fending off the final guards when she leapt at the sadistic psychopath who was firing a bullet at the woman who was her present and future.

As the Commander tackled the scientist to the ground she didn't spare a look behind her as the anger was clouding any and all better judgment she had. Pressing her knees into his wrists Lexa pounded her fists against the thin flesh of face breaking the skin under her the force her knuckles until his sandy blonde hair and lightly tanned complexion were splattered with blood and consumed by swelling bruises. That anger subsided fairly quickly when she heard the fighting behind her stop and a rush of footsteps and chaotic voices shouting to get the door open that they didn't have much time left before the bombs exploded.

But Commander Lexa wasn't going to allow the bombs to take care of this man. No. This man had caused too much pain, too much suffering to be left to an explosion. When she stopped her punches against Benjamin Wells' face he began to laugh that mocking and menacing laugh that she had heard when he was torturing her, when he was threatening Clarke, and when he was taking the lives of others and the sound made her reach for the first weapon she could find.

His gun.

Still pinning him underneath her Lexa held the gun with both hands and pressed the muzzle between his eyes, but his throaty laughter only grew into something more maniacal. "You're going to shoot me?" he mocked, "I thought your people were against using guns. Do you even know how to fire it? I hope you don't miss, it would be pity."

As much as it pained her to think it he was right, she had no idea how to use this contraption and it wasn't her people's way. Lexa turned the barrel away from him and a flash of triumph passed over his already purpling face but it faded quickly as she brought the butt of the gun down hard onto the bridge of his nose, shattering the cartilage.

Lexa stood up as he writhed in pain for a moment and took that brief span of time to unsheathe both of her swords. As if subconsciously accepting what she was planning Dr. Wells lifted himself up onto his knees and knelt before her like a soldier about to be knighted. Blood gushed form his broken nose and across his still laughing lips as he looked up at her with insane delight. _He's finally lost his sanity_.

"You may have won the battle, Commander, but this war isn't one you can end with a peace treaty." He said with utter seriousness through his toothy smile.

Lexa's response came when she crossed her blades and lined them up against his throat and without hesitation she used all of the strength she had to rip the blades through his neck parting his head from his spine and letting the body fall into a slump at her feet.

That's when she heard Clarke say with utter sadness the name of her former lover. Lexa turned around just as Costia's hand was falling to the side and the shallow rising and falling of her chest stilled. She didn't know how her legs had carried her there but she found herself on her knees in a large pool of blood looking down into the lifeless eyes of the woman who saved all of them.

She didn't need to ask to know what had happened, but her time for grief was nonexistent as she felt a rush of cool air blow over her and ruffle her matted mess of hair across her shoulders.

"We have to go! Now!" Bellamy's voice rang out as the groups quick and heavy footfalls took them away from the blast door and into the lush green forest. Lexa glanced back down and ran her hand over Costia's eyes to close them for the last time. Clarke looked at the sadness across Lexa's face and placed a hand on the brunette's arm to gain her attention.

"We have to home now." she whispered and when Lexa met her eyes it was like Clarke was given new life to follow the instructions of the fallen woman between them.

Clarke pulled the both of them to their feet and they ran out of the door turning back only to help Bellamy reseal the heavy metal barrier to contain the blast before turning and running into the tree line where the others waited. Only a few moments after they lined with the others did they hear the roar of the concussive explosion and feel the earth rumble under their feet.

"It's over." Octavia said breaking the silence that had befallen the group, "Let's get the hell out of here." Immediately agreeing the six survivors turned their backs on the horror they had endured.

As they moved further into the forest Clark and Lexa fell into step beside one another, silent in their companionship. Clarke was looking ahead, not wanting to chance looking back and finding out that this was all a trap, but her mind was set at ease when she felt the warm press of Lexa's palm against her own and strong, calloused fingers interweave with her own. Looking over at Lexa, Clarke felt the ends of her lips curve up at the warmth and the endless love that radiated through the pain, grief, guilt, and fatigue.

Lexa returned her love's smile and motioned forward giving the blonde's hand a light squeeze and they walked home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you to everyone who has read this! The last chapter is a short epilogue to conclude this intense work! I do have plenty of other ideas for Clexa fics that I promise will be much fluffier :) but for now... May We Meet Again.


	22. Epilogue

**Three Months Later**

The large scar of rose petals and a thorn covered stem was still puckered under Lexa's touch as she absently ran her fingertips over the memory. She sat on the long stone bench of her quarters looking down at the marketplace and village of Polis as the grey dawn light was slowly peeking over the horizon. This was her home, this old world naval academy that had been built upon and around to create their capitol, but it was so much more than that now.

_Three months_. She thought. _It doesn’t seem like it's been that long but it seems like it's been eternity at the same time_.

The Commander's nights had been restless ever since they made their escape; from the night they spent in the caves and in the forest to when they finally returned to Camp Jaha and even now when she had been kept busy and distracted by the day to day of the Clans and the Alliance. When the Sky People and the rest of the leaders learned of what had happened, about the spies and the networks, the first order of business was to flush them out but it was taking more time than they had anticipated.

And quite honestly all Lexa wanted to do was move on, but it was far easier said than done for the doctor's words still haunted her.

"Can't sleep?"

Lexa turned her head away from the soft breeze coming through the slightly ajar window to meet glassy blue orbs and messy blonde locks and a small smile instantly formed on her lips. _She's so beautiful; this is why it was worth it_.

Clarke walked over to where Lexa was sitting and rubbed the light sleep from her eyes; she hadn't been able to sleep much either and if it wasn't Clarke finding Lexa early in the morning or in the middle of the night it would be the other way around. Lexa shifted her position so Clarke could settle herself between her legs with her blonde hair nestling against Lexa's chest and shoulders.

The Commander wrapped her around Clarke's waist, "You need to stop thinking." Clarke said as she starting rubbing mosaics into the soft skin of Lexa's forearm.

"How about we both take that advice." Lexa said lightly, her gaze returning to the view of low dotted flame torches and small wooden huts.

"Fair enough." Clarke said nuzzling her back further against Lexa. "What were you thinking about tonight?"

Lexa sighed and tightened her arms around her lover, "It's too quiet. I can't help but replay it. It wasn't just him, Clarke, it's not him. There's more to this I know it, but I-"

Lexa was cut off when Clarke shifted and twisted her body around to press a palm against Lexa's cheek causing the Commander to close her eyes and lean into the cool touch. "I know. I worry about it too, after the memorials that's I thought about but we'll figure it out, I promise."

The brunette opened her eyes again and pressed her lips to Clarke's palm and the other girl resettled against her. They sat pressed against one other for several more minutes, watching the highlights of dawn illuminate the world around them.

"Let's go back to bed." Lexa finally said and Clarke gave her a chaste kiss before moving back to the bed of furs against one of the walls. Lexa stood from her seat feeling the dull pain run through her back from the poisoned wound that still refused to completely heal.

They had yet to determine what was laced with the metal of the swords that cut through her back. It would be a physical manifestation of the scars that reopened when memories would surge to the forefront during a nightmare or triggered by a word or event. However, she had faith that with time her wounds would heal into unbreakable scars that would hold memories as reminders but not toxins that her mind used to paralyze her mortal being.

She had faith and she had an anchor in the woman who shared her experience and used herself as her own focal point during the times when the light was nowhere to be seen and she was taken back to those dark, damp stone rooms and felt the clamping of the metal cuffs restraining her.

Lexa cast one more look at the horizon at the lone star that still shone through the grey light and thought of her past who allowed her future to continue; her other anchor in the stars.

Hearing the rustling of the furs Lexa turned her attention back to that future and smiled as Clarke curled herself into the soft warmth with a spot open and waiting for her to take it.

_Whatever may come we will fight. We will evolve our hearts, our minds, and our bodies to defeat whatever enemy may cross our path. I have the strength of love and that's all that I'll ever need._


End file.
